Bunny Tales July 8
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Bunny Tales July 8
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| Gail | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 04:19 am 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed summaries!
July 8
Sunday morning (July 8) begins with Hardy up at 5am jumping rope. Up and down, up and down. Keep it going, Hardy. I'm hypnotized.
Mike and Will discuss more of their plan to spice up the story lines with sex, sex, and more sex. "Sex sells, dude!," says Will. "I know, dude, and we have to give the people what they want." What I want is less of Mike and Will, so I switch feeds.
Oh, goody, nomination talk! My favorite! Justin assures Sherrie that she'll get the votes she needs. Sher moves into another room to get confirmation from Bunky and Krista. Bunky gives her his vote, but Krista just says something about how she hates the voting process, but that she's a hardass.
Justin begins a plan, concocted last night with Mike and Will, to allow Bunky to woo him in order to gain his confidence. (It's hard to say "Bunky woo" without laughing.) Yesterday, he was threatening to hit Bunky if he touched him again. Today, his genuine-Puka-shell-necklace-all-the-way-from-Hawaii was askew; he didn't even flinch when Bunky straightened it. Bunky is beside himself that Justin is confiding in him.
Much morning discussion about Kent's flatulence. It's definitely his claim to BB fame.
First Best Line of the Day comes from Krista. "I'm living in a fake house with fake people and fake cottage cheese."
Autumn cries me a river when discussing BB with Bunky. She is miserable, says she doesn't want to play the game, doesn't feel like she has what it takes to hack it. She is considering leaving the show and heading for home. Bunky encourages her to visit the on-call psych in the Diary Room. ( So do I.) Bunk now tells her he'll leave her alone for awhile to think about things. Translation: he's tired of listening to her whining.
Oh, yeah, Autumn says she feels like she's in a Scooby-Doo episode. Which one, Autumn? The one where they all get naked in the hot tub and Scooby threatens to hit everyone in the head with his 9-incher?
This, of course, is in reference to last night's cry of "Let's all get nekkid in the hot tub!" which, for some reason beyond my understanding, nearly the entire house acted upon. Hardy started it, I suppose (I hate to blame anything bad on Hardy) when he said he would bare it all for the last two beers. I am, however, elated to hear this because I keep a couple of brews in my fridge at all times. They will now remain there until Hardy comes to call.
Nicole eye-measures Hardy and, when Mike decides to join bare cubs Krista, Monica, and Sheryl in the tub, she is able to compare notes. I believe the numbers 7 and 9 were batted about, but I can't recall which number applies to what boy.
Shannon and Will spent an hour in the storage room getting to know each other better. Here's a bit of the patter I picked up:
Shannon: "My belly button is shaped like a triangle.
Will: "Isosceles?"
Shannon: "It might be, or maybe an obtruse."
Will: "You mean 'obtuse.'"
Shannon: "Well, I knew it was one of the ones that start with 'o.'"
Will: "'Isosceles' starts with an 'i.'"
Then, later:
Shannon: "I think you like my belly button." (No response from Will.)
And, a minute later: "I really think you like my belly button." (Still no
response from Will.)
And, then again, a bit later:
"You like my belly button, don't you?"
Will: "I think YOU like your belly button. You keep talking about it, don't
you? In all its geometric configurations?"
The two lovebirds spent the next hour under the covers making cooing noises. Well, they were a step or two above cooing noises. More like animal mating noises. I am reminded that we are all one species.
When Shannon stops the action under the covers, Will jumps back up to join the others in the kitchen.
Mike and Will end the evening plotting their agenda to win the game. They include Justin in part of their plan. It's so sleazy and evil that I don't even want to get into it here. Watch the TV show or read another web site for the lowdown. It'll send you to the shower.
In the middle of the night, Kent and Justin take the phrase "pillow fight" to a new level. Kent accuses Justin of stealing his and Justin reacts in his cute little murderous way. Discussion between the houseguests as to whether Justin will be evicted as a result of this outburst leads me to cross my fingers in hope.
Back to today:
Kent wants to know if a voluntary exit would mean that he would lose the car. I don't know the answer to that, but if I see him enter the shower again, I might lose my cookies. Sometimes that darn feed just needs to be turned off.
Revelations today:
(1) Kent's never seen "Gone with the Wind" because he doesn't like black and white movies. I'm tempted to say something here. Not about the fact that the movie is in color, but about the little problem he's famous for.
(2) Krista has hidden Bob/Wilson, the watermelon mascot. I wonder if she visits him and keeps him abreast of the day's happenings. Anyone else ever notice her resemblance to Rob Schneider?
(3) Justin says he's quitting smoking "to show my love for Kristabelle." At least when he "crushes her," he'll be in much better health for the pummel. Yes, Justin's plan is to sleep with Krista, then humiliate her. "I'm popular with my buddies for crushing women."
Around the patio table, the Neanderthal men discuss the size of their penises, clearly a subject of interest to them at many times of the day.
Across the yard, Bunky makes Kent uncomfortable with yet another story about anal sex. Kent hits Bunk with some religion. I guess he's trying to convert him. They're in the pool, very handy for a quick baptism if needed.
Autumn is still in bed. She hasn't emerged all day. Monica and Nicole tell her to get out of bed and "get over it." She remains in bed. Other than to sneak out and grab a plate of potato chips, that is.
More lines for the Shannon "I love my body" file:
"Is the camera zooming in on my crotch?"
"If they want me to keep looking good for the cameras, they need to give me the right food."
"I know what happens when I walk into a room."
"Mike, you can sit in my lap if you want to. I'm a giver like that."
"I don't want to have children. I don't want to ruin my narrow hips and flat stomach."
Make that the "Shannon makes me want to puke" file.
I need to clear my palate by just watching Hardy play basketball for awhile. Care to join me?
Later, Sunday, July 8:
Will tells Shannon to go play backgammon with Autumn. Shannon agrees to do it "but if she starts talking about liposuction, I'm out." Is that all it will take, Shan? Liposuction, liposuction, liposuction, lipo.....
Autumn begins confiding in Shannon. Shannon comforts her about every issue and conflict in Autumn's life. (This is significant because part of the Will/Mike plot is to have Shannon win over the other women to vote their way.) I wish Autumn had never come out of the bedroom. She is much safer there.
Autumn lets Sheryl know that she's probably a goner, because "people, not me, want to split up the Brat Pack by voting you out." Sheryl is dumbfounded at this news. She lets Autumn and Monica know that she isn't "one of them." Autumn says she needs to let everyone else know that.
All gather 'round as Autumn tells the tale of her eight-year relationship with a famous athlete who married someone else three days after a date with her. Did I hear that right? Eight years?!? What does it take for this girl to get a clue? Ah, he helped to further her singing career. All is not lost after all. (Just eight years.)
Sheryl and Nicole are having a powwow in the bathroom. Sher is in tears about possibly being voted out. The two gals make a pact to get Mike and Will out of there, no matter which of them wins the vote on Thursday. They are in agreement that no one in the house is "real." Yes, they are. Real sleazy, real whiny, real obsessed with sex, and real annoying to the point I might not be able to watch them much longer.
Bunky drapes himself over Monica and whines about the rich getting richer and the poor getting the shaft. This after whining to Kent about the anguish he is feeling over being sexually attracted to the men in the house even though he is married. Bunky is becoming a poster child for the Land of the Lost.
Mike is working Autumn, trying to convince her to vote out Nicole. And before you can say "Be nice to Autumn and she'll spill her guts," she tells Mike everything he wants to know.
In the meantime, Nicole is working on Kent. I'll be glad when this vote is over. I'm tired of this round.
The houseguests settle down in the living room to watch the movie they made about life in the BB house. They laugh and laugh and laugh at their crazy antics. I remind myself that it's been a long time since they were able to watch TV. Give 'em a cartoon once in awhile, BB, and they'll jump with joy.
Bunky's request to the ladies for purple nail polish is my cue to cut out for now. I have an aversion to the color purple on men. Women, too, for that matter.
More tomorrow.
Bunny  |
| Bunny | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 03:29 pm
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 8, con't.
Sunday night finds Will, Justin, and Shannon dissing the other houseguests.
Justin says, "If Autumn wins HofH, I will puke." Shannon: "I will make her
life a living hell if she does." This would be easy to do. After all, I
think she's on a first-name basis with the Devil himself.
Shannon calls Hardy names like "f'in' p*ssy." Justin looks out the window
and counts the other houseguests: " All lemons: 1, 2, 3, the fat one, 4, 5,
6." Will just knows that CBS is sorry they put such duds in the house
(himself excluded, of course). Justin talks about how REAL he is (so I guess
his attraction to Bunky is genuine, and he really does love Krista).
Jus and Shan want the challenges to be physical so they can win. I agree
that mental contests would put them at a disadvantage.
Will supposes that CBS is portraying him as Prom King, with Shannon as his
Queen. (No comment.)
Shannon shares that she never wants to be pregnant. She is disgusted by the
thought of being fat for nine months. (I guess they don't make maternity
thongs?)
Justin seeks out Mike to ask him if he has "taken care of" Autumn. Mike
says he will give her a back rub right before the vote. They strike up a
b'ball game. I find it amazing that Justin is able to play b'ball in his
towel.
Autumn asks Shannon if she and Will have hooked up. Shannon denies it. She
says she just sleeps with Will to keep warm. I guess she's not used to that
chilly California weather.
Shannon then retreats to the bedroom to pick out her bathing attire for the
next day. In fact, she obsesses about it. I am concerned that she will max
out her brain power allotment for the week and not be able to face the next
luxury challenge if it falls into the mental category.
After Shannon completes her task of choosing her suit, she and Justin and
Will continue on their quest to find as many horrible things to say about
Autumn as they can. Then Justin starts in on Nicole, and after hearing the
things he says, I'm wondering how he ever passed the psych test. Eddie,
he's not. More "everyone else in the house is a loser" talk, and then all
are off to bed. Thank goodness. |
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