| Bunny | Monday, July 23, 2001 - 08:58 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 22, 2001
Mike Boogie awakens during the night having difficulty breathing. Diagnosis? He's allergic to the basketball he's been sleeping with.
Late Saturday night, Hardy and Bunky are seriously discussing loyalty among the Reals. "Action speaks louder than words," says Hardy. I bet he has that printed on cocktail napkins at home.
Hardy wonders if Krista is really part of the Reals or in cahoots with CT. Bunky wonders if people on the internet can hear them talking about Krista. (Smile, Bunky, you're on candid internet!)
Bunky wonders if there is a room in the house with no cameras where he can hide. Bunk, you should have thought of that before you started prancing around in your undies.
Krista tells Nicole that if she is appointed HofH again, she will put up two CTs. She later tells Hardy that she may put up Kent because she thinks Kent doesn't like her. Hardy says that Kent just wants her to take a stand. Krista says, "Why should I slit my throat for him?" You shouldn't, Krista. If you wouldn't do it for Justin, no one expects you to do it for Kent.
Will tries to hoodwink the internet watchers into believing he has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant. He doesn't have long to live, he says, and will tell the other HGs when the time is right. In the meantime, he would like viewers to donate blood (I guess he forgot that he was against this practice) and banners. Shannon cries (badly - no Oscar potential here) and Will reassures her: "Don't worry, Sweetpea." Who knew Will was a Tommy Roe fan?
Bunky and Kent discuss how they think one of the HGs may be losing HofH on purpose so she won't have to nominate anyone. "That person always tends to speak in riddles so she doesn't have to answer questions. I'm not saying anything because I don't want it on the internet." Okay, boys, I won't tell anyone you were talking about Monica.
Kent says he wants Nicole in his bed "with her big breasts." Better her big breasts than Will's big hair.
Hey, have you noticed how tiny Shannon's head is? How can it be possible to have such a little head and yet, at the same time, have such a big one? If anyone needs some big ol' country hair, it's Shannon. It's the one part of her body she can't exercise to make bigger. Is there a Miss Disproportionate beauty pageant?
Sunday morning begins with the America's Choice question. "Which gift would you like the HGs to receive?" The answer is "toaster," and one is awarded along with waffles and bagels.
Best Line of the Day comes from Will: "America's Choice question: Would you rather give Krista Nyquil or liquor?"
Hardy, Kent, Monica, and Bunky talk about keeping Shannon and voting out Will. Hardy says no, he can't take Shannon another week.
Second Best Line of the Day comes from Bunky: "Love comes and goes depending on the banners flying by."
Shannon accuses Hardy of hoarding his special treats from the HofH room. She wants some M&Ms. Be careful what you wish for, Shanno. You're liable to be pelted with them when you leave the house.
Shannon says, "Wouldn't it be cool if we all walked out on Thursday?" Mike says, "Let's do it today." Shannon tells him the door is locked. She says she and Will tried to walk out last night and couldn't get out. See, Shannon, this is the thing. There's a rule book, you know? And it says, "To take a voluntary exit, you have to....."
Will says he's going to drag the America's Choice toaster around by the cord like it's a dog on a leash. I'm kinda liking this idea. "Who Let the Toast Out?" could be a best-selling song.
Shannon says she's unhappy she's leaving because she hasn't gotten to wear all thirty of her thongs. I'm going to put up a website in honor of her eviction: solongthongs.com.
Krista is looking everywhere for something navy blue (Bunky's Fruit of the Looms?).
Shannon has tiny cuts on her hand that she noticed after she scrubbed the toilet with Hardy's toothbrush. Stigmata?
Will says he's been in the game too long to voluntarily walk out, but if he had the chance to do it over again, he wouldn't because it's boring. "And I'm not being portrayed on TV like I want to be." Oh, Will, you're so silly. Every show needs a Snidely Snodgrass.
Shannon says she wouldn't do it again either. "I don't like being around self-righteous, negative, rude people all day."
A banner flies that Nicole translates to mean: "Hardy, trust Nicole, Kent, Bunky, and Monica." Krista is upset that she is not included in the Dept. of Trust.
Nicole tells Hardy she can't sleep in her room with Kent snoring in there. She hints to sleep in the HofH room. Hardy doesn't bite, but he does offer her some things from his fridge (see, Shannon, he does share!).
She tells him about the banner because he was asleep when it came, including the fact that Krista's name wasn't on it. Hardy says he is irritated that Krista didn't nominate two people from CT and now he is having to do her dirty work for her. "She can't be a part of us if she is looking out for herself only."
Hardy thinks Krista will nominate Kent if she gets HofH. "I think she will nominate Will and Mike," says Nicole. "It's in the actions, not the words," says Hardy, in a take on his most famous Hardyism.
Hardy finds out through a banner that Shannon scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. Nicole begins carrying her toothbrush in her pocket. Bunky notes that the toilet smells minty fresh.
Hardy is sorry he didn't nominate Mike and Shannon. "That would have driven Will nuts."
Krista voices her displeasure to Monica about being left off the banner. She thinks Nicole's husband flew both banners that said to trust Nicole. "He has the money. Why would people on the internet spend $600 to send that message?" Because it's a good excuse to shoot the sh** with Chicken George.
Monica thinks that certainly Shannon is the way she is in the real world. "She can't just wake up one day and be like that. And there is something wrong with Mike. I just don't know what." I do, Monica. Let's do lunch.
Mike thinks all the viewers must hate Kent. He wants to see a banner that says "F*** Kent." "I know really cool people and they would all hate Kent. Why are he and Bunky even on the show?"
He continues,"These are the most boring people ever. Just because you can cook doesn't make you interesting. In the first three weeks, we lost the most interesting people. Autumn was a f***ing w****." Mike just can't help letting us see his sweet side.
Hardy announces his website: hardyhill.com. Excuse me while I go get a pencil.
Mike wonders why Hardy is getting all the banners. "Do people like him more than me?" Bingo!
Hardy acknowledges being a bit haughty as HofH. He apologizes to the others. He didn't mean to make people think he was superior to them. I sympathize with Hardy. Having a key around your neck and all the M&Ms you can eat does weird things to people.
A banner flies over reading "Will is not sick." Yes, he is.
The banner is flown too soon, and Hardy tells Will, "You lied to us about being sick, and you didn't even tell us you were sick!" Will promises to explain later what the banner was about.
The HGs wonder what the lie was about, and Will is keeping mum. Word to banner fliers: Be wary of premature aviation.
Shannon and Will prepare for their big date on the b'ball court. Krista and Monica set up a table, and Nicole prepares the meal. Hardy donates two bottles of champagne from the HofH room. Mike acts as waiter and complains that the lovebirds are leaving him "with the freaks inside." When they are alone, they speak in romantic tones. Shannon talks about grabbing Will's package (Shannon's Word of the Month). Will talks about drowning Kent. "With our luck, he could probably hold his breath for hours."
Shannon says she wanted to be on "Survivor." Will says she will get more out of being on this show than "Survivor." Yes, that's correct. Dart boards in every pool hall all over the country are now putting her picture in the bulls' eye. Her tiny head makes for a perfect fit.
Kent says no one is watching them on the 'net except a few freaks. (Cue to Rick James: I'm a superfreak, superfreak, I'm superfreakin'.)
Mike instructs Shannon to be coy about her relationship with Will if asked about it on Thursday's show. Like Colleen and the guy who talked into the coconut phone on "Survivor." "If they ask you if you had sex, say no. If they ask you if you kissed, say no." I think it would be nice, too, for Shannon to keep the TV fans guessing. Unlike the crevices she revealed via her massive thong collection, it would be a deep, dark secret.
Bunky and Kent compare Shannon to Jerri on "Survivor." Kent thinks Shannon makes Jerri look like "America's Sweetheart." Bunky says, "At least Jerri was pretty." Kent agrees.
The two talk about Will and Shannon's date and how it was all a plot to get more air time. "Then we will be the bad guys for splitting up the love nest," says Kent. "Here's what I think about it," says Bunky. And he lets out a blast from the a**. (I couldn't have said it better myself, Bunk.)
Seems like a perfect time to cut out.
More tomorrow.
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