| Bunny | Monday, July 16, 2001 - 09:21 pm 
I return from the cabbage patch after the weekend, and what do I find? My,
oh, my, how the stomach turns (when it has nothing but pb& j for a week).
The girls lose the weight challenge and are resigned to the dreaded sandwiches, coffee, and water. The good news is that Shannon weighs more than Autumn. Remind me to buy her a bag of chips when she gets out of there.
So li'l ol' Kristabelle from way down in Loo-wee-zi-anna found her a fence to ride. (Looks like she's hugging it as tightly as she did that mechanical bull.) As the new Head of Household, she changes her mind about nominating Will, Shannon, or the Hat Packer and turns the tables on Autumn and Kent instead.
Autumn hides in the bedroom after her nomination, bawling like a baby and begging Nicole to never leave her side. She is trying to get strong for her son. That's what I always do when I need to get strong, don't you?
Nicole is going to flip a coin to decide whether to vote for Kent or Autumn. Shouldn't she say she's going to bet a coin on the one who has flipped?
The girls win a bunkin' bronco bullriding competition and are awarded a barbecue. Shannon says it's possible that they may be given a pig roast. I see this as the perfect opportunity to bring Justin back into the house without resulting in viewer rage.
Revelations:
(1) Bill Miller is Bunky's real name. No wonder he likes Bunky better. But then, people named Bill who like to have their straws slurped are pretty popular in the news these days.
(2) Kent acknowledges bigbrotherfanclub.com. In return, I will drop the sarcasm
long enough to say that I am truly enjoying watching Kent play the game. (Who knew Bunny could be so nice?) However, I hope he doesn't
plan on persuing a career in stand-up. With his jokes, the tomato bin at the closest supermarket would be empty in no time.
(3) Justin has an assault and battery arrest record. Nice of Will to give out the name and address of his brother to the broom basher. The ratings were the highest ever for CBS when Justin's banishment episode was aired. I guess that's what they mean by Sweeps Week.
(4) The casting directors are friends of Mike's. This may shed some light on why Shannon is allowed to advertise his club on the live show. I heard the Drink Special this week at Belly is a Favoritism on the rocks.
(5) Hardy doesn't cook. Oh, yes, he does. BAM! And he even cleans up after.
Shannon and Will continue to talk about sex. SHUT UP! Nicole continues to talk about sex. SHUT UP! Autumn and Bunky and Hardy continue to talk about sex. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I repeat, all but Hardy SHUT UP!
Mike Boogie didn't earn his nickname because he's good on the dance floor. The live feed catches him picking his boogies and wiping them on his shirt. I'm your boogie man, boogie man! (I'll never hear the song in the same way.)
Kent asked Bunky to sleep with him. Better to put them both in the same bed and keep their booty bombs in a contained area.
On Monday, the houseguests hold their weekly meeting. Kent's speech I can't even remember. Autumn's was along the line of "See you on MTV." What channel is that on? I need to call my cable company and cancel.
Will apologizes at the meeting to Bunky for his homophobic comments. I bet this is the guy who started the ER rumor about Richard Gere and the gerbils.
Speaking of rumors, I heard that Justin's latest burglary and assault arrest was for breaking into Sheryl's house, stealing Melon Bob, and hacking him into pieces. After all, HE was the first one to leave the house. Bob shoulda been HIS! Jussy was frustrated even further when he realized how hard it was to spit watermelon seeds when you're missing your front teeth.
It looks like there will be no alternate to replace Justin. I hate to hear this. I had my fingers crossed for a eunuch.
Hey, I heard Justin has applied for a job as a hairdresser at Super Cuts.
Monica is still playing it safe. She doesn't even provide me with any good fodder for jokes.
Bunky becomes "Superfag" for the banner plane pilot. Somebody call wardrobe.
The least CBS can do is make sure his cape and bow don't clash.
Bunky hangs out in the bathroom while Hardy takes a shower. "If you were gay, would I be your type?" Hardy tells Bunk not to start that stuff. I'm envious of Bunky getting to watch Hardy lather up, even if the view is blurred. Bunky, let me buy you a beer when you get out of there. We can talk about Hardy all - day - long.
Autumn says she's putting on her "game face" and getting back into play. No, girlfriend, please don't do this. Whenever things get boring in the hot tub, I always know I can click another feed and find you crying in the bedroom. I like having that option.
Autumn decides that being asked to peel one's banana is not so humiliating after all and she once again befriends Mike. We thought it was the act itself that offended Autumn; perhaps it was just the choice of fruit.
Krista says she has an agent and would like to do commercials. Last I heard, you had to be articulate to get one of those gigs.
Mike's hat parade is never-ending. I've seen some bandana wear, a blue visor, a ballcap, and a white bucket hat (is that velour?) over the last week. Then there's the black wig and red scarf he wore for the basketball challenge. Guess this keeps his noggin warm for all the head games he's playing. I'm wondering, though, if his mama packed those kerchiefs for his boogie wiping and forgot to tell him.
You can add Boogie to Kent's Bed of Flatulence, too. Will must cover his nose while playing backgammon with Autumn. Autumn isn't bothered by the smell. She's used to the stench of the Crap Packers.
Mike gets a birthday basket from BB - champagne, balloons, a badminton set, a camera, a banner, some pointed HATS, and a box of Kleenex. (Okay, I made up the Kleenex part.)
Mike takes a photo of his penis with his new birthday camera. Hardy says to put sunglasses on it. I say try that white velour hat.
Shannon tells Will that if she gets HofH, she will nominate Bunky and Hardy. This will be hard for me to take. I think it's a plot against me. Who's the infiltrator giving Shannon my feed reports?
Somebody get a message to Hardy to take off that stupid birthday hat or I'll lose all respect.
Shannon gives us a poop report. More of the plot against me, I'm sure. Good time to call it a night.
More tomorrow.
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