| Bunny | Wednesday, July 25, 2001 - 09:14 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 25, 2001
Nicole spends some time Tuesday night venting to Hardy about doing all the work around the house. She is tired of cleaning someone else's mess off the toilet. Hardy says he hasn't noticed it. (Hmm...could he be the Mystery Pooper? Nah, too meticulous.)
Will, Mike, and Shannon are in the hot tub. Will shares that you can retain 70% of your heat by wearing a hat. Boogie must be the warmest person on the planet.
Mike tells Will he thinks it would be cool if Will walked out on Thursday with Shannon. They say they wouldn't want the internet to find out because "it might start something." Yeah, dancing in the street.
Shannon tells Will the Hairless Wonder (he reminds me of my neighbor's pink hairless poodle with the pompadour on top) that she will miss him when she leaves. Will says he can't wait to get out and own Hollywood. No comment about this from Mike, who is no doubt remembering that Hollywood is miffed at him over a certain incident involving a favorite superhero.
Nicole retires to the bedroom to give Hardy a massage. They wonder what it will be like when they leave the house. Hardy thinks Nicole should have a cooking website. Nic encourages Hardy to model underwear. I ponder switching to men's briefs.
Mike and Will play a game of backgammon. Mike says, "I'm not myself around here." I want to tell him that, thanks to Smoking Gun, we know this to be fact.
Nicole tells Hardy that she thinks part of Shannon's problem is that Hardy never hit on her. She said that Shannon had talked to her the first week in the house about who would "bang" Hardy first, and then hung around by the weights. Hardy says that Shannon isn't his type. Say it again, Hardy, say it again. Now louder where Shannon can hear you.
Krista, Will, and Shannon go outside to discuss the highlights of Krista's birthday: she showered outside in the buff; Bunky showered outside in the buff; she wore a cone bra Bunky made from paper; she drank beer and then went to bed because she couldn't have any more; she received a stuffed teddy bear that liked to talk dirty; she topped off the night with a couple of shots of Nyquil.
Will tells Krista that she will have to move to LA when BB is over because she will be in so much demand. I contemplate the many things Krista could do with her newfound fame, beginning with service announcements to caution youth about the affect drugs mixed with reality TV can have on your reputation.
Nicole gets Shannon to admit to cleaning the toilet with Hardy's electric toothbrush. Nicole: "Why would you do something like that?" Shannon: "I went to military school. I learned all kinds of sick s***." Nicole: "I'm sorry. I just don't get it. It seems so prepubescent." I am excited that Nicole has given me a word that finally requires me to use Spell Check.
Shannon tells Nicole stories about her school days and the mean things they would do to people. One story involved tying someone up outside, naked, and leaving the person there for a couple of days. She thinks this would be hilarious to do to Hardy. Somehow, Shannon has gotten into my head and relayed part of my dream - the Hardy tied-up and naked part.
Will and Shannon try to explain to Nicole their reasoning behind being so upset with Hardy, and how wrong it was of him to split them up. Will says that maybe he, Shannon, and Mike will all walk on Thursday. What's that old saying? Don't let the backdoor hit you on the way out? But I don't really mean it, because these guys are good for plenty of paragraphs.
On the way to bed, Shannon considers going into the other room and popping a balloon to give Kent a heart attack. I'm tempted to say something here about her penchant for killing older men.
On Wednesday morning, BB wakes up the HGs with an announcement: "Houseguests, it is time to get up for the day." No one is happy about this at all, but I understand it. Shannon will need plenty of time to pack all those thongs.
BB tells the HGs to clean up the mess from the birthday party. Shannon tells Will she thinks they should let the lazy blankety-blank others clean up. "Why should I do it?" Will says, "Oh, come on. It was Krista's birthday." Shannon doesn't like Will's response. However, I do. Will isn't such a tinman after all. If he only had a brain.
Shannon decides to help clean up, and then asks Will for the squillionth time if he will miss her when she leaves. And I thought Autumn was needy.
Shannon asks Krista if she will avenge her departure after she's gone. Monica is stunned that Shannon would ask such a thing. Shannon tells Will that she is taking her backgammon game with her because she doesn't want Hardy to play with it. The last time I saw someone pick up her toys on TV and go home, I was watching "Sesame Street."
Kent decides to exercise for the first time. CT laughs at him, but Hardy tells him he is doing great. Mike notices that Monica is working out, too. Will says she is doing "Tai Ho."
Kent needs a haircut and Bunky offers to take razor in hand. Hardy calls Boogie to come outside. Monica says, "Do you have to call him out here? The evilness around here is horrible. I'm trying to shake it off." Hardy tells her not to worry about it. "What goes around, comes around." Is this on the BB List of Hardyisms yet? 'Cause it's a keeper.
Bunky's Beauty & Barber remains open with Boogie as his next victim. It becomes a two-chair salon when Krista takes Hardy as her first customer. Bunky finishes the final trim on Hardy and Krista finishes off Boogie. Kent returns the favor to Bunky and cuts what's left of his hair. No word
whether Kent was tempted to let the razor slip to the forest down below. See my Edwards Scissorhands post from yesterday.
Comments are made about Mike's new do, and he says the back is "hacked." "It's not bad. I'm not mad. I have lots of hats." So we noticed.
Best Line of the Day goes to Bunky when Mike asks him if he has cut hair before. "Yes, it's part of the Gay Orientation program."
Shannon tells Will she is going to hang out with his brother at Belly's after she is evicted and make him the most popular man in the bar. This could very well happen if, when people see her coming, he ends up being the ONLY man in the bar. Just kidding. I'm sure Shannon will have her share of admirers from Tidy Bowl.
Nicole tells Hardy of her conversation with Shannon about the toothbrush incident. Shannon told Nicole that she was upset with Hardy for laughing at her. Hardy denies that he laughed. (He was probably thinking it classified as more of a chuckle.) Nicole relates Will's nomination strategy if gets next HofH. He will nominate Hardy and put him with someone likeable. That should be a short list.
Second Best Line of the Day? Monica says to Bunky, "You're looking pretty good there, Bunkmaster Flash."
BB gives the HGs a mosaic kit. Shannon says they can make cement shoes for someone. Krista suggests that Hardy put Shannon's toothbrush in the middle of his stone step art. Is there a guy alive who wouldn't feel lucky to have one of these little darlings?
Alot of time is spent on the stepping stone mosaic designs, but Hardy is not satisfied with his. Bunky asks him what went wrong. "It just got away from me, man, just got away from me." "It's okay, it's okay," comforts Bunky. Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
A banner flies: OUST WILL NOT S TO BEAT CT4. The voting's over. Someone needs to get Chicken George a watch.
Mike wants to make up a riddle "for the internet nerds to figure out." Sorry, Mike, we're not interested in anything like that. We would rather watch you pick your nose.
Mike steps on a piece of mosaic glass, which makes it painful for him to walk. This is bad news to me because I was looking forward to another dance lesson. The highlight of my day has just been thwarted. You think I'm kidding?
Will lets Shannon know about the banner asking for his eviction rather than hers. "It's a little late," says Shannon, but she seems pleased that the banner flew. I am upset that Shannon will probably be the one to go since Boogie can no longer dance. Shannon's military school antics would have been adequate entertainment to compensate for the loss. Will's stories won't do the trick. Who needs Nyquil once he starts jabbering?
Mike is working on a farewell rap for Shannon. I'm working on one, too. All I have so far is "Shanny flashing her fanny." After today's revelation that she doesn't really have her realtor's license, and she doesn't really have her boat captain's license, and she didn't really go to a military school, and she didn't really go to college....well, there's just nothing else to write except "Shanny flashing her fanny." After that, I got nuttin'.
New banner reads "NET C'S (heart)S TOP! B KE DATE GR8 IDEA." This is in reference to a remark Kent made about having a date with Bunky to rival the one Will had with Shannon. Personally, I would have preferred a date between Bunky and Justin, but beggars for gay love matches can't be choosers.
Hardy and Bunky wonder how the show is doing. Bunky thinks hardyhill.com is getting bunches and bunches of hits every day (there's nothing there) and he hopes that bunkymania.com is doing equally well (there's nothing there, either).
Today's Revelations:
(1) Hardy wears a cross that he plans on giving "to the right girl someday." Hardy, do you need a map to my house or what?
(2) Krista went to beauty school. You sure can't tell it by Mike's haircut. Of course, she never said she graduated.
(3) Shannon says she has no intention of having children. "The last thing I need are little beggars running around the place. They are snotty-nosed pisspots. No, thank you!" I jump for joy that this girl is choosing not to procreate. We don't need a "Rosemary's Baby" sequel.
(4) Monica likes The Rock. "He is fine!" Do you know what the Rock is cookin', Monica? I heard it was pb & j sandwiches. Still think he's fine?
Monica, Krista, and Nicole discuss Mike's infatuation with Krista. Krista says she will hook up with him when she gets out. Only she doesn't say "hook up."
Mike to Will: "Do you want to shoot?"
Will: "No, I'd rather walk around and mope. I can tell they're [BB] getting worried 'cause they tell me to hang in there, that I need to motivate Mike."
Mike: "Dude, I'm fine. It's just the in-between times that are bad. When it comes up tomorrow, I'll be there."
Somone point these two in the direction of Autumn's bed.
Bunky thinks Hardy should encourage the adulation of the gay community the way Ricky Martin does. Hardy says he doesn't have a problem with "you people." Okay, then, Hardy, start shakin' your bon bon.
Time to shake mine.
More tomorrow.
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