| Bunny | Thursday, July 26, 2001 - 10:42 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 26, 2001
Wednesday evening's dinner finds the whole group around the table except for Hardy, who won't leave his workout to come inside and join them. A man not coming to dinner when he's called? Typical of households everywhere.
Shannon is being nice at the dinner table for a change. Maybe she'll alter her M.O. and leave tonight with a bit of class. And maybe the Beatles will get back together.
Krista decides she cannot eat the crab that Nicole has cooked because she has an upset stomach. Maybe it's because she didn't have the pleasure of pulling the heads and legs off the crabs like she did the crawfish. And why is Nicole cooking crab anyway? Doesn't that go against the teachings of the Maharajah of Vegetarianism?
Monica goes into the Diary Room and the mic is left open for a little while. Unfortunately, it's Monica, so we don't get much in the way of entertainment.
Bunky, Kent, and Hardy talk about what Krista would do if she gets HOH. Bunky says she will nominate Mike and Will. Hardy: "If she doesn't put them up, she will be in seriously hot water." Kent: "I thought she should have been the last time." Hey, fellows, does the word "strategy" mean anything to you? How about the words "ride the fence so you can win?"
Bunky then gives us the First Best Line of the Day: "If Krista pulls out their keys and says 'My daddy's name is Leon,' I'm going to get up and shout 'Superfag strikes again!'"
Second Best Line of the Day goes to Monica: "If I'm gonna date a white guy he's gotta look like Hardy. If they don't look like Hardy, might as well just stick with the brothers."
Shannon asks Nicole to fix her hair in a curly style for the Live Show tonight because she plans on being evicted and wants to look young for her fans. She believes straight hair makes her look older. No, Shan, meanness makes you look older.
BB gives the HGs a book of questions and all gather 'round to answer (except CT, of course).
"Which animal would you eliminate, if you could?"
Bunky says alligators because he is afraid of them. Gators - now the Official BB Mascot.
"If you could have witnessed any event in history, what would it have been?
Nicole: "The Pink Floyd Wall tour." Huh??
"If you could have a famous parent, who would it be?"
Nicole: "The Marquis de Sade." Huh??
"If you could have a romance with any fictional character, who would it be?"
Nicole: "Dracula." Huh?? Huh?? Huh??
Mike is dressed in Will's kimono, waiting in his bed for Krista. He says tonight's the night. If she doesn't go for it tonight, he might have to break up Nicole's marriage. I hate to tell ya, Boogie, but one look at you in that ridiculous outfit and she'll choose sleeping with the ants on the floor over you.
Will, Shannon, and Mike huddle under the sheets and talk about Shannon's plans for exiting the show. Will doesn't think she should do anything that would jeopardize her stipend. Mike reaffirms that he needs to get Krista in bed in order to solidify Chilltown. More plotting involving Will's brother bringing in a pair of shoes. Then some talk about why Will would never be a star with hair like that. (Okay, I made the last part up.)
Nicole is outside with the others sharing her knack for guessing penis size. "It's just a gift," she says. I see. Some people paint, some people sing, others guess penis girth. I wonder if it's acceptable in the Miss America talent competition.
Today's Revelations:
(1) Shannon says she is opposed to drinking. Pan to a shot of Shannon with a glass of wine in her hand at Boogie's birthday party and a glass of champagne while on her "date" with Will.
(2) Shannon says she is opposed to smoking. Pan to a shot of her asking Nicole for three cigarettes, a shot of her in the hot tub lighting up, and a shot of her sitting at the patio puffing away.
(3) Hardy's favorite actress is Angelina Jolie. I've scheduled an appointment for collagen injections in my lips and will be ready when the time comes to greet Hardy at the door.
(4) Shannon reveals that on Halloween, "I had the black fatigues and little knives and grenades and stuff." Trick or treat, ain't she sweet?
(5) Mike was Matthew Perry's stand-in for the first two seasons of "Friends." With this guy's connections, why in the world would he want to do BB? To impress Jennifer Aniston?
Banishment Thursday finds the Reals, Hot Box, the Outcasts, TOP (find a nickname, folks, and stick with it) gathered outside around the table on the patio. Krista thinks BB will show the mosaic that Boogie made (MM loves KS) on tonight's show. I'm hoping they show Boogie in the kimono curled up in bed with Krista's stuffed teddy bear. It never hurts to show a man's softer, sensitive side.
The HGs line up their mosaics to show to BB and to each other. Will's contains a code for the
internet that reads "Liberate wrinkly mice." No doubt in my mind that it's code for "Evict Kent." Although, I'm sure there is an internet faction that would vote for "Free Will's willy."
Hardy and Krista decide to try to make Krista's "ex" jealous by sitting together on the live show tonight. I don't know about Krista's lover boy, but I know I'm jealous as heck.
Shannon offers to leave one of her bigger-butted thongs behind for Krista, who goes to try it on. Mike asks Krista to wear the Belly shirt tonight. She tries that on, too, and likes it, but is thinking about wearing Monica's $6.99 blue halter top instead. "Girl, that is ON!" Bunky wants her to wear heels with her jeans. BB interrupts our garage sale fashion show to bring the HGs outside for their HOH rehearsal.
A banner flies: "WILL I AM WAITING 4 U J." At first, Will thinks it's from a girl and he is frightened. Then it becomes clear that "J" may be Shannon's boyfriend. Of course, the banner is a bit premature since Will isn't going anywhere for awhile.
Shannon heads for the Diary Room. I assume she is asking for protection in case "J" is waiting for her as well.
Will thinks that perhaps the banner is from Justin. Not for nuttin', but I don't think Justin would blow 300 bucks on a welcome mat for Will. On a meat cleaver, maybe, but not on Will.
Will rehearses Shannon for her interview with Julie Chen, posing questions and coaching her answers. Shannon is thinking about heading for Belly's after the eviction, but is sure she will pack the place. I hope Shannon's not disappointed. She won't be recognized in clothes. But just in case, I hope the bartenders at Belly's hide the peanuts. When thrown, they can be quite injurious to the eye.
BB instructs the HGs to rearrange the furniture for the show. Kent guides Bunky along as to where to place the pillows and set up the chess set. Third Best Line of the Day goes to Kent: "Are you getting this, Bunky? The straight man is telling the gay man how to decorate.
Boogie's going with his Spikes R Us hairdo for the evening. Monica's in "Afro Cher Goes to Boot Camp," and we're seeing Will in gold Urban Cowboy suede. Nicole adopts the look of a Pekingese puppy. Kent's heading for the golf course. And Shannon is appropriately attired in travel knit. Bunky looks the best of the group now that he has traded in his Disco glitter for tasteful basic black.
Shannon is banished. Contrary to Bunny's prediction, she exits with grace. Meeting her are Dad and "Hottie" Mom (Hey! Where's "Hottie" Granny?) Mom tells us she is so proud of her little girl for the toothbrush toilet swish incident. Ah, the proverbial apple falling from the proverbial tree.
In her time with Julie Chen, Shannon was moved by Nicole's comments in the Diary Room. Nicole cried and cried (which translates to mean, "Don't vote for me in the end, Shannon.") just like she did when Autumn was evicted (which translates to mean, "Don't vote for me in the end, Autumn.").
Kent wins HOH and is debating whether or not to put Mike against Will. He is contemplating Mike against Bunky ("it'll make great TV"), Mike against Krista ("she nominated me"), or Mike against Hardy ("Hardy could use some closeups"). Monica wants Will vs. Mike. Nicole votes Mike vs. Bunky. The deal she made with Will is probably weighing on her mind. And I imagine those two pony tails on top of her head are, too.
Kent doesn't like the food supply left for him in the HOH room. "Strawberries, blueberries, and brie? Where's my g-d pork rinds?"
Kent offers to share the room with Bunky. "Bunk, do you want the top drawer or the bottom one?" "You're the sweetest sugar daddy I've ever had," sighs Bunky. Folks, here's a spinoff sitcom waiting to happen.
In lieu of a black armband, Krista changes into the bathing suit Shannon left her to mourn her passing. "Shannon is cool," says Krista. As in death, those leaving the BB house take on halos.
Hardy, in baby talk, says, "I want someone to touch my pee pee." Monica tells him to think about football, basketball, Nana and chicken pot pies. "Think about her and you'll straighten up 'cause she'd beat your a** for having a woody."
"Right now people on the internet are looking!" That's right, Hardy, and I sure wish I could come over there and help you with your little problem. Except if you say the words "pee pee" again, I'm outta here.
Newlywed Nicole suggests they all form a daisy chain. Hardy doesn't know what this is. I do, but I'm not telling. All I'll say is, it doesn't rank high on the list of BB Behavior for Married Contestants. Just stick to the role of Betty Crocker, Nic, and you'll be fine.
Will approaches Kent to lobby for himself to stay and to get Hardy nominated to go. He tells Kent that it's time to start getting rid of the likeable people. Kent assures him he has nothing to worry about this week. I, for one, am glad, because his mother made me cry. And it's all her fault he has bad hair, anyway.
Krista wants Will nominated rather than Mike. Looks like she is succumbing to the charms of Kimono Joe and the Trash-Mouth Teddy. She tries to sway Monica to lean toward keeping Boogie. Monica suggests that they ask Will if he wants to go. Girls, he has no job and no money. I bet he'll jump at the chance for you to vote him out.
More tomorrow.
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