| Bunny | Wednesday, August 01, 2001 - 10:01 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 28, 2001
Kent's nomination of Krista and Mike has Mike in a rage. He runs around the b'ball court like a wild banshee. Never having seen a wild banshee, and not even being sure what a wild Banshee looks like, I'm guessing here.
Krista goes to each HG individually and asks if what Kent said during his nomination is true. She wants to know if anyone other than Kent said she couldn't be trusted. No one cops to the fact that all were in agreement with Kent's nominations.
Monica says she is tired of hearing how Krista is going to win the game. From where I'm sitting, I don't think Monica has a thing to worry about.
Mike says he's going to tell BB that he'll give them some good footage and stay in the house until Eviction Thursday, but "they better do right" by him when he leaves. "If I left now, I could be f'in' some groupie by 10:30." Be sure to go with the white bucket hat, Boog. It's a chick magnet.
It's Kent's daughter's birthday, and BB surprises him with a cake. Once again, we see the wrath of Mighty Mike Boogie. "What the f*** is that? I didn't even get a f***ing birthday cake. Oh my God...He gets HoH because he eats a lot and knows how much food costs....He gets cake for his kid who isn't even here."
Is anyone else surprised that Mike didn't win the HOH question relating to the price of groceries? Maybe he can really stretch a dollar when he's buying ingredients for Belly's tapas. We could all use some money-saving tips from the Boogie Woogie Frugal Boy of Company BB.
Mike approaches Nicole to find out why she has been upset since the nomination. She tells him that she felt like the things he said during the meeting were directed at her. Mike says he didn't know there were sides until last night (Wha?) and he feels like Nicole positioned herself to play the middle (Where have YOU been?). Nicole says she truly likes CT (Really, Nic? Then could you recruit a couple of groupies for Boogie? Say, 10:30 Thursday?).
Nicole explains to Mike that she and the others didn't mean to form an alliance, but CT forced them into it. (Yeah, they were held at knifepoint.) Mike says he's maddest at Kent because he felt like he spared Kent the first week. But he also wants to know why he was chosen for nomination over Will. "When did I become more annoying than Will?" Nicole tells Boogie that he was a bigger threat because he won challenges and Will didn't. I guess she didn't want to tell him that no rap is good rap.
Mike says he feels good and knows who his friends are (Boogie has friends?). He says he realizes now how Shannon felt (uh-oh, everybody hide your toothbrush!). "I've been loyal to my friends," he says. This is true, but then again, so were Charlie Manson's girls. "I've been honest with everyone." (Now, Mike, can you honestly say that?)
Mike decides he wants to get to know the others better before he leaves. (You might start by telling them your real name.) He wishes he could stay longer in order to "watch Kent pack his bag and go." (For a minute, I thought he said "pick his boog and go.") He wanted to be a star of the wild and crazy cast of BB2. (Note the word "crazy" - he said it, I didn't.)
Bunky and Kent talk about Hardy's announcement that he no longer wants to discuss the game. Kent tells Bunky that Hardy may end up getting voted out if he doesn't stick with the alliance. Oh, no, you don't, Kent. If you oust Hardy, you'll have to answer to me. (Now, how can I get Shannon on my side so I can send her to kick Kent's a**.)
Here's what New Nominee said about my boy Hardy: "I am cool with everyone here in some way, shape, or form. Hardy? Yeah, he was in my sights because he put up Will and Shannon, but as far as lifting weights or shooting hoops or whatever, I'm cool with him." Did you hear that, Kent? Mike's cool with him. So don't make me move over to the Dark Side.
Kent and Bunky are surprised to see Hardy so "eaten up the past few days." They agree that even pretty people have their burdens. (Yes, do you know what a pimple can do to ruin an otherwise good day?)
Krista tells Bunky that she didn't like the way Mike handled his nomination, calling Kent "just an alternate." Kent says that Mike was just lashing out "in the moment." Ahhh, there's that soft Southern heart again.
Kent and Nicole talk about Mike's reaction to his nomination. Kent said he tried to offer an olive branch to Mike by telling him that outside the house, he was probably a good guy. But he just didn't like the way he was playing the game. He says "Krista isn't going anywhere," but now she knows "the jig is up." Kent says he's proud of the team because they did what they said they would do, and he is happy to "take one for the team" so that the rest of them don't have to.
The HGS go to bed with Krista and Mike spooning. The teddy bear is sleeping with the enemies.
Today's Revelations:
(1) Bunky did a play that contained frontal nudity. If it was anything like the shower scenes he's giving us these days, I have no doubt the play had a short run.
(2) Mike was a fat kid growing up and the other kids used to pick on him. Anybody got some chips?
(3) Will's brother works the night shift for a phone sex company. At least, Will says he does. If this is one of Will's made-up tales, someone let me know so I can stop dialing the phone.
Saturday morning finds Bunky in his underwear. (Isn't Bunky the name of one of the TeleTubbies?)
BB announces that the Luxury Competition will take place in one hour. During lockdown, Kent tells the others that he wishes Jerry Seinfeld would stop in about now. (Gee, I know he'd REALLY love to, but he's got that Madonna concert scheduled tonight.) Or how about that guy from Will and Grace? (Gee, I know he'd REALLY love to, but he's starring in "The Music Man" on Broadway tonight.) Monica and Krista pick Oprah, Whoopie, or Rosie. (Gee, I know they would all REALLY love to, but really they wouldn't.)
Kent finally decides he would settle for a visit from Radar from "M.A.S.H." He says that Radar's teddy bear is in the Smithsonian. Maybe it's just me, but I bet that cute little "I want to f*** you" bear of Krista's ends up right beside it in the glass case.
Mike and Will complain about BB's prize giveaways going from a car to a toaster. I see their point.
It's time for the luxury challenge, beginning with matching music cds to the HGs who picked them. The first one is a Michael Jackson disc. I'm thinking Boogie on that one, seeing as how he has a crush on MJ's sister and all. But no, it's Monica.
Will is matched to Everlast (kind of what I'm feeling about him in this game about now), Krista's is "Drops of Jupiter" by Train, and Mike's is some rap cd. I'm crossing my fingers that Mike doesn't win because I don't want to listen to it. Nicole chose Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" for the game, Kent's is Pat Travers, Hardy goes with Incubus, and Bunky is matched with his choice of NYC's Best DJs Volume Four. Well, well, well, what do we have here? He's Bunky, the Disco Junkie! DJ Jazzy Bunk.
The HGs are directed to the pool where they must toss discs into a floating bowl. The one who gets the most discs into the bowl wins his music match and a cd player. Monica triumphs and will be rewarded with Jackson's "Off the Wall." Oh, how appropriate.
BB gives instructions for the HGs to dive into a container of discs on the b'ball court. The person who grabs the most will share the cd player with Monica as well as get a copy of his/her music choice. Hardy is the Head Diver.
The challenge is over. Krista discusses her fighting prowess with Mike and Will. "Who would win in a fight, you or Alicia from "Survivor?" Krista says she would, because Alicia just has "gym muscles." "I don't take s*** from anyone." Krista then discusses Kent's lax parenting style with her pals.
Krista says she won't put Will up for nomination if she gets HOH. Will says he wants Hardy out. Krista tells them she has a secret for them. "They are keeping you in, Will, because Shannon is gone, and you will do what they say." Care to tell us more, Benedict Arnold?
Mike says with CT gone, the show will be boring and he won't watch. Something tells me he'll be right in front of the big screen at Belly's next Thursday, watching himself get booted. That is, if he's not inundated with groupies by 10:30. If the chick thing doesn't work out, maybe Will's brother has some connections to help him with a hook-up.
The "America's Choice" question is revealed: Which HG would you like to receive a phone call from home? My money's on a call from Will's turtle.
Nicole looks to the camera and pleads her case for a phone call from her newlywed husband. Yeah, that newlywed husband. The same one she gave up a honeymoon with to come into the BB house. Seems to me he might not be interested in talking to her right now. You marry a girl, you're getting ready to leave on your honeymoon, and whoop! there she is - massaging a hunk called Hardy for all the world to see instead of massaging you in some tropical paradise. Is losing your bride to a stint on Reality TV grounds for annulment?
Nicole is also not happy that BB keeps giving them cans of paprika. No one is using it. I'm picturing Joan Crawford playing Nicole in "BB: the Movie" and yelling, "No more pap-ri-ka! No more pap-ri-ka!"
BB doles out a few beers to the HGs. Krista asks Bunky and Will to give their allotment to her. Don't worry, Krista, there's always Nyquil, the BB substitute for a Cadillac margarita.
Bunky tells Nicole that Hardy's not his type,"but just imagine you are on an island, and you have nothing but zucchini to eat. You don't like zucchini, but after three weeks of not eating anything, the zucchini is starting to look good." Now that Bunky has made it clear that he wants Hardy's zucchini, I'm picturing myself on that island. All day, all Hardy zucchini, all the time.
Krista tells Bunky that Kent made a mistake not putting up Will for nomination instead of Mike "because he always goes out on the first question for HOH." Say what? And I thought it was because he owns only one pair of shorts and we're not the least bit tired of looking at them.
Poor Kent. Krista is mad at him for saying he speaks for the group, when everyone in the group told her he doesn't speak for the group, so now he's in trouble for speaking for the group because we all know the group agreed to let him speak for them.
Bunky says he doesn't like for people to make judgmental comments about him or what he likes, even if they are disgusted. You don't disgust me, Bunky. I just don't want you trying to steal Hardy's zucchini from me.
Krista says that Kent hasn't gotten to know her and that he cannot pinpoint her. I beg to differ.
Will asks Nicole to help Mike stay in the house. He wants her to form an alliance with the two of them. Nicole says she has the power to get another vote for Mike to stay, and she will think about it. If I were Nicole, I would go for Bunky since she likes Pink Floyd and he likes pink. It always helps to share a common bond.
Nicole shaves Will's legs and arms and every part of his body except the one that needs it - his head, which brings to mind Hans and Frans from Saturday Night Live. "Look at the girly mahn getting his girly legs all shaven." "Yah, he wants to show his girly mahn legs to Hardy in the hot tub." "Yah, and then he wants to shave his girly mahn arm pits and show them to Bunky in the kitchen." "Yah, and then he will be a total girly mahn with girly mahn body and girly mahn hairdo." We just need to PUMP - him UP!
But even Hans and Frans are no match for Mike Boogie. This is a man if I ever saw one. He asks Nicole, "Will you shave my a** crack?" This is really stooping to a new low, even for reality TV.
Nicole shaves Hardy after she's finished with Will. She says, "Every girl in America is freaking because I get to shave you." Uh, no, not every.
When it's time to smooth Boogie's cheeks, Nicole gets rubber gloves from the kitchen. I guess she's aware of Mike's membership in the BB Flatulence Fraternity. He reigns it in with the help of Monica's Michael Jackson cd (try to moonwalk while someone's shaving your butt). A plastic bag is held to catch the clippings. You can look for Boogie's Bum Hair Bagettes on sale at Ebay in coming weeks. For top dollar, you can get a Boogie's Butt Hair Bucket, sold in a bucket hat (your choice of colors) with a banana bonus. I feel safe in saying that this is one time the kids won't be singing, "I wanna be like Mike."
More tomorrow.
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