| Bunny | Friday, August 03, 2001 - 02:03 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
July 31, 2001
Today's Revelations:
(1) Krista got married to one of her husbands on a ferris wheel with nine other couples in a radio publicity stunt at the Cajun Heartland State Fair in 1991. And you thought running off to Vegas was wacky.
(2) Mike tells the others that his real name is Carri. Everyone takes the news well. Everyone except Mr. Freeze.
In the wee hours of Tuesday morning, Nicole and Hardy are contemplating various alliances. Nicole tells Hardy she has been playing the game for him and for Krista. They agree that it was foolish of Kent to try and play Nicole and Hardy off each other.
Will asks to join the conversation. Hardy tells Will how much he likes him (he really likes him)and that he likes Mike as well. He reveals that he wants Kent out of the house now rather than Will. They talk about also nominating Bunky. Zoom in on Will's evil arched eyebrow. His hours of plucking and preening are now paying off in close-ups.
Will doesn't want Monica or Bunky to win. Nicole says she will "play" Kent and pretend everything is fine between them. I need Boogie to come clean my ears because I think I heard Nicole say this same thing to Kent about Will and Mike. Krista, make room on the fence.
Nicole says she trusts Will because he has always been honest with her. Will concurs about his honesty. Nicole tells him she will kill him in his sleep if he is lying. BB, did you hear that? Can I make a Citizen's Penalty Nomination?
Will, Hardy, and Nicole hope that a banner doesn't fly revealing their new alliance. I'm going to fly a banner that says, "Shame on you, Hardy. You are no longer invited to my tea party."
Nicole apologizes to Will about not being able to keep Mike in the house. Now back up just a minute. Didn't you just tell Hardy that you were playing the game for Krista? But yet you tried to get HGs to keep Mike in the house? And no one's catching on? Girl, you are working it!
Hardy says he is pledging his allegiance to Will, Krista, and Nicole. I'm going to blame it on the six beers he just drank.
Nicole says she is surprised that Mike said he didn't think there were alliances in the house. "There's no way to play this game without an alliance." Yeah, it's even harder if you can't decide which one to pick.
Will thinks that "Shannon went off like a freak" to save him. "The Shannon that was screaming at you is not the Shannon I know. She was doing it for me." Okay, maybe you DON'T know her yet. But try to cross her on the outside, and you'll have a clean toilet by morning. Hardy says he's sure
that Shannon "outside of these walls" is great. Yeah, most people do save their best behavior for when cameras AREN'T watching.
Will wants to know how the public will view the new alliance. Nicole doesn't think it will fare well. Hardy tells Will that it's all strategy.
(I feel a little better now.)
Nicole wants to know if Will's hook-up with Shannon was for ratings. Will says it was good for ratings, but he didn't do it for that reason. "I have very high hopes for me and Shannon and it's sad that no one on the show knows about it except me." We'll count on you giving us an update when you're interviewed for People magazine's Most Beautiful issue.
Nicole wants to know if Will would turn her down if she propositioned him. Will says he would hope that he would. I have to hand it to Will. He knows better than to get mixed up with someone who dated big burly wrestlers.
Will: Imagine this show with Nicole not being married. She would have banged everybody.
Nicole: Hardy, admit it, if I was single I would have nailed you. Admit it from this point on. And you, Will, admit it also. You don't think I could
seduce you to bang you?
Will: Now, I don't think you could.
Nicole: Just say yes.
Will: No, I can't. Why are you so mad that I like Shannon? Why is that...
Nicole: I'm not. I'm mad you might f*** her over. This is about me and my powers of seduction. Will, you have nothing to do with ethics, because you have none.
Will: You can't fault me for attempting to develop ethics.
Hardy, Will, and Nicole are in the bathroom getting ready to call it a night. Hardy says, "We just made a deal with the devil." They all three laugh and promise to keep it a secret from the others. Krista is added to the list and Will says he will be glad to go out in fourth place. Then there is much discussion about Krista using the winnings on her abusive boyfriend and partying, rather than paying off her $30,000 credit card debt or spending it on her daughter. So they want to rethink whether or not they want to include her in the group.
Tuesday morning, Hardy tells Will he was drunk last night. Does this mean he can break his pact with Satan?
Will teaches Hardy the 2Hype choreography so they can surprise Mike. I realize now that I don't care who stays in the house as long as they will dance for me. Banish the sitters!
Krista has plenty of cigarettes left but refuses to share them with Kent, who is getting only Nicorette from BB. I just hope she keeps them away from Will, who has already professed to be dying from cancer.
She goes to tell Mike that Will and Hardy are rehearsing a dance to surprise him, which irks Will. Then she tells Monica that Will, Nicole, and Hardy were up all night. I imagine it took them that long to think of a name for their new alliance. They have just about used everything up. Except maybe the No-Good-Guys-Left alliance.
BB gives the HGs a video camera and a boom box so they can make a video. This beats the heck out of watching them play basketball or smoke on the patio. Mike wears his hat sideways (you thought I wouldn't tell you?) and Funky Bunky follows suit.
They work on the rap for the video. Mike says he can't believe he found a house with six people as sick as himself. Yeah, and here I thought there were only two.
Kent doesn't want to participate. So much for him being the BB2 Chicken George.
While the HGs are planning their video, a banner flies: M AND W SCHEME KR OUT. Krista tells everyone not to let the banner bother them. The people spending money on banners to give Krista a clue should now buy a clue banner themselves.
After the filming of the video, Krista joins Nicole in the kitchen. She tells Nicole she is "so hung over" from last night. Nicole wants to know if Krista will move to L.A. after BB is over. Krista says no, she would prefer not to raise her daughter there. Besides that, a six-pack costs double what it does in Louisiana.
Mike and Krista huddle under the bed covers to talk. Mike says he hates to leave the house and thinks it will be a big loss to BB. He saw himself as the captain from the start, and was there to play mind games. His biggest fear is that his life won't change that much. He wanted BB to take him "to the next level." He imagines he will get some "very cool roles, do a little music."
Krista says she wanted to be on Real World, not BB, because they party more on that show. Mike says they would be "the f***ing superstars of that." Mike offers to screen offers for Krista when she gets out. He wants her to play up the "simple country girl" because he thinks it will get her some gigs. Not a problem.
He will also screen offers for Will and Shannon. I heard that several publishing companies were already in a bidding war for Will's book HOW TO SPEND THREE MONTHS IN THE BB HOUSE WITHOUT CHANGING YOUR SHORTS and Shannon's workout video EXERCISES TO GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST NECK ON THE BLOCK.
Krista wants to know if Mike plans on handling offers for Justin. Mike says no, that Justin's a hard sell. I disagree. He's perfect for a public service announcement warning kids to always wear a helmet.
Nicole gets a banner: I NEED YOU NICOLE MY HEART ACHES JEFF. Nicole is so moved by the banner. I hope she doesn't consider it the highlight of her TV experience and have it tattooed down her leg when she leaves.
Krista says she isn't sure she wants her family to meet her when she leaves the house. "I just might need some time to get 's***ty' and have some time alone." I sympathize with Krista because I know that most moms would feel this way after being separated from their children for a long time. Beer first, kid later.
Mike says he really hates Kent. He can't believe he is going to get out before "that alternate." He wanted to be there when Kent left. Wait around until next week, Boogie. Someone's planning on pressing "Alternate Delete."
Krista tells Monica that she thinks Kent wants her voted out. Monica says no, he wants Mike out. Krista didn't like Kent's nomination speech. Monica says, "Yeah, that was squash." Somebody get Monica some soul food, would you? Now she's using it in sentences where it doesn't belong.
Kent tells BB that they won't get any action from him until he gets what they promised him. He returns to the HOH room to find it full of surprises, but no cigarettes. He offers to barter for a pack of Krista's. He knows she likes Pringles.
Krista tells the others that she is going to leave a pack of cigs for Kent, but she will make him pay. "I'm going to make him my b****."
While Kent is gone, the rest of the HGs bash him.
Monica: He told me I wasn't pulling my weight.
Nicole: He said I broke his confidence by talking to Hardy. He told me I'm unreliable.
Krista: He told me I'm stupid.
Monica wants to know what Hardy said about her not pulling her weight. "I said you didn't get HOH," says Hardy. "Is it in the rule book that I have to get HOH?" Don't worry, Monica. It's just squash.
Kent comes outside and the others gang up on him, Mike in particular.
Mike: You're giving me eyeballs.
Kent: I'm not even looking at you.
Kent: Why don't you grow up? Why don't you just be quiet? You're just pissed off because you're going.
Mike: I feel the same way about you. Don't get satisfaction about you staying here for another week. You can go home and tell your kids..
Kent: Keep my kids out of it. You're such a punk.
Mike: I'll keep your kids in it. What are you going to do? Get physical?
Krista and Mike think it's a good idea to try and push Kent so that he'll get a penalty nomination. I think it's a good idea because I need something to keep me awake.
The only thing wrong with the argument is that Kent can't think of a better name to call Mike than "punk." That might have stopped James Dean in his tracks back in 1959, but it raises nary a spike on Mike Boogie's head.
Kent seeks solitude after the rough-and-tumble and heads for the privacy of the HOH room. "Get me out of this freak show. Tell me I can take the car and my stipend, and I'll leave today." I'm right behind you, dude.
Kent picks up a can of mixed nuts and I can't help but think the can is a metaphor for the BB house.
Kent tells BB to warn Mike that if he says anymore about his kids, he'll break his jaw. Just break his finger, Kent. That will really get him where it hurts.
Nicole tells Mike that she wants Kent out very badly, but he shouldn't have mentioned Kent's children. Mike says he wishes he hadn't done that. Krista wants Mike to keep pushing Kent until he makes a threat. She is mad that BB gave Kent beer. "They only gave me a teddy bear and Dr. Pepper." Yeah, but just think, Krista. Kent's beer can't talk nasty, and all that caffeine you got may have aided and abetted your regular dates with Nyquil.
Mike doesn't want to threaten Kent anymore. He doesn't want to be remembered for that when he leaves the house. He prefers to be remembered for the fun stuff he did.
Kent, Bunky, and Monica are talking on the patio. Bunky says he hopes people will recognize him when he gets out. "I just hope when I go to the grocery store, people don't look at me and go, 'Who's that?'" Wear a shirt, Bunky, and they won't.
Kent tells Nicole he doesn't understand why Hardy turned on him. "I thought Hardy was a stand-up guy." Nicole says, "I don't know if he is or not." Give him a minute alone with me, and you'll have your answer.
Krista and Mike are working on their exit speeches, trying to think of things to say that will hurt Kent. Mike says, "Could you imagine if he gets up and jumps me? This show would go through the roof!" Other HGs talk about taking one for the team; Mike wants to take one for CBS.
Mike says when he leaves the house, he is going to build everyone up. "You are going to look so good!" Uh, Boogie? You might be a little surprised to find that your own image needs a little touching up.
More tomorrow.
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