| Bunny | Monday, August 06, 2001 - 04:43 pm 
Bunny Tales
August 5, 2001
It's Sunday morning and Kent is the first one up. Will joins him outside. They talk about their nominations, the formation of TOP, and Kent's progress with his non-smoking regimen.
Kent asks Will if he still plans on taking out Hardy. Will says he might as well stick with that plan. Krista comes outside and smokes a cigarette in front of Kent. (She won't do well on the Respiratory Ward.) She returns to the house.
Nicole is standing inside the house but listening to Kent at the window. She thinks she hears him talking about her, Krista, and Monica and runs to tell Krista. Krista wakes up Monica and reports that Kent is badmouthing them outside to Will.
Monica is all comfy in her bigger-than-a-boat water bed and she doesn't like to be disturbed in the morning. So being awakened "with all that negativity - go to bed hearing all that s*** and have to wake up hearing it...." sets Monica off.
She goes to Kent and asks him if he has anything to say to her. She says she doesn't "need this s*** for $500,000 and I'm not playing." She is upset that Kent didn't say good morning to her. She says she is going to vote to boot out Kent for sure. (Remember this kids: Always be pleasant whether you've had your Rice Krispies or not.)
She lets out a high-pitched primal scream (I don't know what a wild banshee looks like, but I bet this is what one sounds like). She goes off on Kent, and then on Bunky, and then even tells Krista to shut up. All the screaming exhausts her, and she collapses on the bed in tears and asks to be left alone.
I'm thrilled to have some entertainment from Monica. Finally. I was beginning to wonder how much the glue that keeps her in that patio chair was going to sell for on Ebay.
BB informs the HGs that their new pet is waiting outside. They are surprised to see a potbellied pig rather than a dog. (BB, we finally get some good Monica footage and you call it to a halt by throwing that porker in the backyard.) It's a male pig with a female name. Why not? It fits right in to the dysfunctional theme of this year's BB.
BB wants to know who the primary caretaker will be. Krista yells, "Me, me, me!" (Yes, "Deliverance" comes to mind but I refuse to go there. It's just too easy.) Will also wants the job, but Krista insists on playing caretaker to the pig. (Just please don't ask to take it home, okay?)
Kent asks Bunky to see if Monica will talk to him. Monica says no, she doesn't want to talk right now. She puts on her headphones and listens to her Michael Jackson cd alone. (I think she's turning up "You're Out of My Life" loudly enough for Kent to hear.)
Nicole chastises Kent for not talking to her yesterday. He says he didn't talk to anyone (Bunky's invisible?) because it's easier to be alone since he is having such a rough time trying to quit smoking. Nicole tells him it would be easier for him to be around people. (Right, people who chain smoke.)
Kent spends some time alone out by the pool with Ophelia. I'm worried about his love for pork rinds.
Krista says she misses her daughter (is someone documenting this?). She seems close to tears (maybe this movie will end well after all).
Monica doesn't like Ophelia. Ophelia likes to sleep in the bed with someone, and since Monica has the biggest bed, it makes sense that Ophelia should sleep with her. It ain't happenin'. Monica don't share, Monica don't trade, and Monica don't sleep with pigs. Three reasons why you should vote her out, I say.
Will is trying to get the pig to eat peanut butter. "C'mon, Sweet Pea." Isn't that what he called Shannon? Is it just coincidence that we don't know whether to call the pig a he or a she, and we had that same problem with Sweet Pea #1?
Kent sings "Rock-a-Bye-Baby" to Ophelia (a clear sign he needs to get back out to reality).
A plane flies overhead and writes "(heart) TRS" in the sky. None of the HGs can figure out its meaning. I think it means "Tarnished Reputations Suck" and is a warning to all in the house to clean up their act.
Krista thinks it's a message from Boogie that means "Love the Roses." Yeah, it might be, if the skywriter can't spell. I want to tell Krista that if it's from Boogie, it means "Take Rap Seriously."
Nicole is in the pool pushing Will in the raft, holding him by his feet and using her breasts as a springboard. Will tells her that Kent thinks Hardy is in charge now, but Will thinks Nicole is. He tries to convince her that Monica needs to go. Nicole agrees, but changes the Diss Channel to Krista.
Krista tells Hardy that she thinks Kent is brainwashing Bunky (I thought she didn't like that word).
Hardy says BB asked him if he was really crying when he nominated Kent. He said yes. "I can't cry on cue." There goes your contract with MGM.
Kent asks to talk to Nicole. He tells her they can still form an alliance to try and beat Hardy and Will as the final two, because he heard that she was going to be voted out after Bunky. "You said you wouldn't rest until CT is gone." What she meant was that she wouldn't rest until Will started playing around with her in the shower and started pushing his feet against her breasts in the pool.
Kent tells her not to vote out Will for him or for Sheryl, but to do it for herself. Do it for Mike and Shannon, too, because the Three Mouse-keteers are missing a rat.
It's time for dinner and the HGs get Kent's choice of prime rib and all the fixings. Will gives half his baked potato to Nicole (What to do about the butter? Check the cow bi-product chart.)
After dinner, Krista tells Will that Boogie wanted her to take Will as far as she could in the game. Krista lays out cards, points to them, and tells Will there is alot he doesn't know. (You're telling me?)
Hardy, Krista, and Monica are talking about this morning's episode with Kent. Hardy says he feels okay with Kent leaving because he won the car. I'm glad Kent won't be stinking up his new car with cigarette smoke.
Nicole finally decides to tell Bunky why she is mad at him. It was that whole sandwich thing. She brought him a sandwich to the pool and he said he would eat it inside. I would blame it on the whole Mars/Venus thing if Bunky weren't gay.
She was also upset because he asked her to keep it down while he tried to sleep. Bunky says the Best Line of the Day: "I've never asked anybody to be quiet, but after thirty days, I thought it was time."
Krista tells the others that she almost bought her daughter a pig. (Ple-e-ase don't tell me that.)
Will tells Nicole that he has something to tell her that she will have a hard time believing. He knows what the skywriting message from today meant.
Krista is already tired of being Ophelia's caretaker and wants to lock him/her in his/her house and doesn't want him/her to sleep with him/her, I mean her. Will, as second Caretaker in Command, doesn't want the pig in his bed either. We already know how Monica feels about it. So Hardy allows the pig to get in bed with him. (One look at Hardy is enough to know he's not used to sleeping with pigs.)
Will tells Nicole that the message from the plane today was from Shannon and Mike. "What does Shannon call me?" (Oh, please don't make me say it. LUV!) So the heart in the sky was to let him know the message was from Shannon. The letters "TRS" mean "The Right Stuff," which is what he says Krista, Monica, and Hardy call their group. (At "x" dollars per letter, "UT" would have been cheaper.)
BB says that someone must get up in the middle of the night to take Ophelia out to use the bathroom. Krista: "I'm not getting up for that f***ing pig." I thought Krista always stayed true to her pigs until they were evicted.
Which reminds me. Good thing Justin isn't around or they'd be having sliced bacon for breakfast first thing tomorrow.
Will explains to Nicole that Kent has been right all along about the alliances and the order in which people are going to be voted out. But he asks her to keep him in anyway, and use him to get out Hardy, Krista, and Monica. He wants Hardy to go first, but she wants Krista.
Will says that Krista, Hardy, and Monica are communicating by pointing to face cards in order to hide what they want to say from the internet viewers. He says that they are going to vote out Nicole. Nicole says, "You mean Hardy is f'in' me over?"
Will warns her not to let anyone know of UT's plan or they will vote him out next. He tells her they need to get Bunky on their side. (Finally, Bunky gets to feel the love.)
Krista sees Will and Nicole in the hammock and yells, "F*** you, Will!" He assures her that he is not telling Nicole anything about the plan, and that they are just talking about Shannon. "Now, Nicole, did you see her as mostly male or female, and which thong was your favorite?"
Will tells Nicole that Krista threatened to vote him out next if she sees him alone with Nicole again (there goes Footsies in the pool).
He goes to Krista and asks her when he's going to be voted out. She tells him he's scheduled to go after Bunky. He asks who she will vote to evict if he gets HOH and nominates Hardy and Nicole. She tells him she won't vote to evict Monica or Hardy. (I nominate the pig.)
Krista told Mike part of the plan right before he left, and told him not to tell Will. Mike boogied right to Will's ear and clued him in to what he knew. (But he's her boyyyyy-frienddddd, and she looooooves him.)
Krista tells Will that she's in love with Boogie (this week). Will says he loves Mike Boogie, too (this week). It's a virtual Mike Boogie love fest.
Will says to Krista, "I can't believe you made out like Kent was lying and he was the only one who really knew the truth." (You should always listen to your elders.)
Will then goes to Nicole again and tells her that Krista is okay with voting out Hardy, and that if either of them gets HOH, they should put Hardy up for eviction. Nicole wants Krista instead. They cannot come to an agreement on this issue.
Will offers to take Krista to Europe with him. He says Mike and Shannon will go along and how great it will be. (If all else fails, use bribery.) Krista is afraid that Mike won't want to be with her when she leaves the house. (Are you kidding me? Who could turn down a night with America's Sweetheart?)
Nicole tells Krista that she is and always has been loyal to her and to Hardy. Krista doesn't respond in kind. She says instead that she hates having to turn on her friends. (Where is Hardy? We could use a Hardyism right now, like "You always hurt the one you love.")
Will and Nicole decide that Bunky has to be let in on part of this so they can get him in an alliance. "I can pull Bunky. Trust me," says Nicole. (Well, when you go to find Bunky in Kent's room to pull him, would you also pull those frayed straws out of Kent's mouth? I feel like I'm looking at antennae protruding from his lips.)
Nicole is convinced now that Hardy has been lying to her. She vows revenge. (Oh no, not the toothbrush again.)
Will and Nicole think they should go into the Diary Room and tell America what is going on. Yeah, because we don't know.
Nicole tells Will, "We are the smartest people in the house." Maybe, but I'm not so sure you have the pig beat.
Nicole says it would be great if she and Will came in first and second and split the money. (But, but, but...you said you didn't want the money.)
Does anyone agree with me that these folks make Richard Hatch look like Shirley Temple on the Good Ship Lollipop?
BB, please give me a reason to care who wins. I'm begging you.
More tomorrow (if I can take anymore).
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