| Bunny | Tuesday, August 07, 2001 - 05:16 pm 
Bunny Tales
August 6, 2001
It's Monday morning and the cameras zoom in on Hardy curled up with his little pig friend. Hardy wakes up, jumps out of bed, and leaves the pig. (How many of us gals haven't been THERE, eh?)
Hardy takes her outside to go to the bathroom. Ophelia looks around for a spot, probably being careful not to tread on the territory marked by Mike Boogie earlier.
Hardy and Ophelia are alone, having breakfast together. It's pb&j day, and Hardy is making himself some peanut butter and toast. Hardy has been the most vocal about hating pb&j, so it might be best not to leave him alone with a large amount of pork.
Hardy asks Ophelia to play backgammon. No response from the pig. "Do you want to dance?" Still no response. So he sings: "Who's the baddest pig around? Who's the pig that don't mess around? Ophelia! Ophelia! Ophelia!"
It's time to take Wilbur for a tour of the house. First stop is Monica's room. "Don't bother her. She needs her private time." (Yeah, Ophelia, you weren't around yesterday when Krista woke her up. Her squeal would have put yours to shame.)
"Here's the hot tub, Ophelia. Thank you for reminding me to put in chlorine. And here's the basketball court. Let's go to the shower."
I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up if Hardy and the pig start forming an alliance.
All are awake now and gathered in the backyard. Bunky comments sadly that no one has gotten to sleep with Hardy except the pig. (I feel your pain, Bunk.)
Krista tries to feed Ophelia a banana, the nutritious official fruit of BB. Will says the word "banana" and Ophelia understands it. (Must have spent some time with Autumn and Boogie before entering the house.)
Hardy and Nicole are alone in the bedroom. Hardy fills Nicole in on UT, but says he doesn't want to be a part of it. He pledges allegiance to Nicole (I pledge allegiance to the nag) and tells her he wants her to win over Krista. Hardy also says he let Monica and Krista know "how tight you and I are" and that he's not in UT. He wants to take Nicole and Krista to the end.
Nicole is ranting about Krista not wanting her in the Final Three. She tells Hardy she will nominate Monica and Krista if she gets HOH. Hardy
doesn't want her to nominate Krista, but Nicole says it will be fine because no one will vote her out. That's true, unless she's put up as an America's Choice Eviction.
Hardy says maybe they should get Will out this week and keep Kent. Nicole says no, they'll get him later. Nicole asks Hardy about the cards. He says he knows nothing about that.
Nicole says, "I hate f***ing liars!" (I hope Will owns a bullet-proof shield.)
Nicole pulls out every trick trying to get Hardy mad at Krista. She tells him that Krista promised loyalty to her (I must have had my earplugs on that day) and now she's having a hard time accepting the fact that Krista lied to
her. She also doesn't think Krista would spend her winnings wisely, and that the "America's Sweetheart" thing is annoying. She is also concerned about "the Justin/Mike thing." She continues on with Krista's Faults 101 and Hardy finally chimes in, even though Nicole sounds about as sincere as an actress over 40 who says she just loves being able to play character
parts.
It's time for the Monday meeting, which always starts with the grocery list. Nicole wants cigarettes, Bunky wants lip gloss (Jamie would be so proud), Kent wants suckers, Krista wants gum.
It's time for the nominees to speak. Will is first. He thanks everyone for their support since Shannon and Mike left. Short and sweet.
Kent's is pretty much an attack on Hardy and a last-ditch effort to band everyone together against him. "If we look at Hardy, he's the most competitive person in your life. He goes
after competitions to the hilt. He does NOT like to lose, and he's not going to lose. He's probably going to win this game - he's going to pick you off one by one. It's going to be like this: me first, then Bunky - Monica, Nicole, Krista, and Will as second. Hardy wins the game. That's the way it's going to go down."
Hardy loses control in defense of himself. "You're a f***ing liar, lying through your teeth." The phrase "f***ing liar" is passed back and forth and I wonder if this will be the new BB catch phrase of the week.
Will states that he is ready to be completely honest about everything. (Could someone please pick me up off the floor?)
Bunky is showing photos from home of himself when he had as much hair on his head as he does on the rest of his body. I couldn't tell if he had a backbone then, as well.
Everyone goes outside after the meeting except Kent and Hardy, who enter the ring for Round Two.
Hardy: "Oh, my God, you are f'in' nuts. Why would I want to stay here with you and Bunky in the end? You need to get hold of yourself. You're an idiot. You could have gone out with dignity and style." Hardy better hope Grandma's church isn't watching.
Nicole is massaging Hardy (Daylight Special?) and he tells her that Krista told him that Will knows about his alliance with Krista (got all that?).
Vegetarian Nicole wants "the f'in' pig" to go home. I guess just because you don't eat animals doesn't mean you have to like them.
Hardy and Bunky discuss Krista's inability to drink her blended meal. Bunky says he thought she would drink it and then vomit. "After all, she's puked alot in her life." (Best Line of the Day).
Hardy says he's surprised that Krista gave up on the pig so soon. So am I. I thought she was partial to animals, pigs in particular.
Bunky, Krista, and Monica talk about how bored they are. Monica says she is bored, but she is not boring. (Guess again.) Krista says she has forgotten how to read and write. I also think she has lost all sense of reason, since she just blew $100 on an over-30 orifice-challenged white rapper who steals from the Caped Crusader.
Krista asks Will if he has gotten a banner from Shannon. Will says no. So I guess he made up the whole Right Stuff bit for Nicole's benefit. Which means he's telling Nicole the Wrong Stuff.
Nicole tells Bunky it is vital that he win HOH this week. "If you, me, and Will are left standing, Will and I will throw HOH so you can win." Nicole says she has to keep her cover in tact and needs Bunky to nominate Monica and Krista. She says if she gets HOH, she will have to nominate him. (And Bunky bows to the Queen.)
Krista and Monica play their card game and Krista points to the card representing someone she thinks they need to nominate. Monica asks, "Who's that?" "Hardy," Krista says. Nothing like having a secret code that's even a secret to you.
They aren't allowed to drink anything but water and coffee today. Krista says the day is over at midnight and she wants to know if they can have alcohol at 12:01. Now that she's famous and all, do you think the Betty Ford Center will give her a celebrity discount?
Krista tells Will she would like to go on a cruise when they get out of the BB house. "We can go to the Bahamas, get drunk..." (See above.)
Hardy's getting yet another massage from Nicole. This is the PM massage as opposed to the AM massage he received earlier today. This guy seems to have more kinks than the Marquis de Sade.
Nicole is whining again about Hardy not telling her that Krista and Monica had an agreement to stick together. (She's starting to make Autumn look good.) Hardy tactfully explains that he didn't want to tell her because she has a tendency to share information with others. (C'mon, Hardy, stick out your tongue and say it: "Nicole is a tattle-tale, Nicole is a tattle-tale.")
Nicole says Krista lied to her about watching her back and that Kent lied to her about watching her back, and so she tells Hardy again how she hates...Are you ready, boys and girls? Let's say it together..."f***ing liars!" Then Hardy asks her what she and Will were talking about for two hours last night, and Nicole says, "Shannon." Here we go again, kids. What does that make Nicole?
Bunky is making some type of peanut butter creation for everyone. He's not wearing a shirt. I think this violates restaurant rules, even in the BB kitchen. I guess there isn't a hairnet big enough to cover Bunky.
Monica, Krista, and Nicole are talking outside about Bunky going out next. Nicole: "I thought this was a no-brainer. I thought he was going next week." Monica borrows a phrase from Hardy: "Actions speak louder than words."
Nicole starts to wonder if Monica and Krista are going to put her up for nomination if one of them gets HOH. Should she throw HOH or not? Hardy says, "You're a moron if you do." I hope BB devises a plan where Nicole can't lose. Like "All tattooed vegetarians get an extra point."
Bunky is training the pig to turn around. "Turn around, buddy, turn around." I feel like Bunky has said this before.
Hardy says, "I just can't bang a chick. I have to have an emotional bond." Oh, darn it, Hardy, can't you make an exception for me?
Nicole and Krista want the pig to leave. Krista: "If that pig gets up in the middle of the night, he will roam the house, 'cause I'm not getting my a** outta bed. I'm not in the pig-raising business."
Will and Hardy want the pig to stay. They think evicting the pig will make them look bad. This is wise, since up to now their images are tip top.
I vote to say aloha to Ophelia, because the "Slingblade" noises are drowning out the HGs conversations.
More tomorrow.
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