| Bunny | Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - 08:56 am 
Bunny Tales
August 28, 2001
The cast of BB2 spends part of Monday evening discussing the cast of BB1.
It seems that Nicole and Bunky were avid watchers. Nicole says that there
are internet people who watch the live feeds and type up everything that is
said, but the ones she knew who did this weren't weird; they just liked the
show. Nicole is now my new favorite player.
Nicole has done a fan-tab-u-lous (word courtesy of Bunky) trim job on the
hair of "America's Smart Slob." He no longer qualifies for troll status and
looks quite ooh-la-la in his new do. Paging Dr. Will...paging Dr. Will...I'm
getting a chill...take me to Chilltown. Never thought I'd say THAT, did
you?
Don't worry, Bunny still has eyes for Hardy. But he's pushing my last "noive"
with the baby talk. Remember what I said yesterday about turning into Baby
Huey. However, Huey never looked so good in a diaper.
I believe Will got his hair cut just in time. Nicole would never be allowed
to play with scissors these days.
BB says they will call in a chiropractor for Hardy. I quickly call the L.A.
Yellow Pages and insert a listing for Bunny's A1 Chiropractics Specializing
in Humans Locked Up in Closed Quarters for 57 Days or Thereabouts. I'll
leave my mark if I get the call. Look for a bunny tattoo right at Hardy's
"hare"line.
Bunky thinks the season started off with good ratings because they had
Sheryl. Hardy believes they lost viewers when Krista and Kent were evicted.
I just know that when Hardy goes, so goes my will to live.
Nicole comes into the HOH (House of Hardy) to give him his regularly
scheduled massage. She comments, "Some people out there don't like us,
Hardy." Hardy: "Oh, who cares? Who gives a s***?" Well, somebunny does, and she's taking notes.
Nicole tells Hardy that she thinks Bunky cut a lock of her hair while she
was sleeping. "I have this hair that keeps falling in my face all day."
Yep, we noticed. I keep hoping you'll forego the Breathe-Rite Nasal Strips
on your grocery list for a couple of hair clips.
Hardy says he would like to get married someday and have kids. (I like
kids.) Maybe twin boys. "But I'm a kid myself." Oh yeah, I forgot. Baby Huey.
Well, I guess we could name the twins Dewey and Louie.
Hardy says, "She's not here to hurt or help you...she's just here." Nicole:
"Oh, I'm just HERE?" Hardy: "I'm talking to my penis, weirdo." Uh, who's
weird? Hardy, you might have to forget having those twins with me. I don't
know if I'm cut out for a relationship with a man who talks to his Johnson,
even in moments of duress.
Natasha tells Boris that Will needs to go. Hardy says he can stick around
for another week, and then they'll get rid of him before Monica.
Nicole says she has curtailed the profanity quite well today. And I concur.
Nic is now rated G and can be shown to audiences of all ages everywhere.
Well, maybe PG-13. She did let a few words slip out here and there. But
when you run low on Woolite, what choice do you have?
Bunky wants to think of a stage name for Hardy. I think he should work on
coming up with a new one for himself. First there was Bill. It goes
without saying that that one doesn't fit the personnae. Then there was
Buster. Go figure on that one. And thought was given to Bunny. Yeah,
well, that one's taken big time. Now we have Bunky. I don't know about you,
but that name just opens you up for all sorts of ridicule. Gain a few
pounds and you become Chunky Bunky. Get caught with your pants down and
it's all about Bunky's monkey. Run into a wall and you're clunky, fall in
the mud and you're gunky, forget your deodorant and you're skunky. I can't
see it. So we need a new name for the Bunkster before that line of bears
gets put on the assembly line.
Nicole tells Hardy she deserves to win the game. "I've gone to Hell and
back and I work my a** off around here." I know what you mean about that Hell thing. Sometimes after an hour of live feed, I feel like I've just returned myself.
Nicole: "If one of us wins that HOH competition, I am just going to be
looking at you and going, 'Hardy, Hardy!' I'm going to be SO excited..that
other person is just going to be standing there. That might be mean, but I
can't help it."
Hardy: "Let's just think about when we come to it."
Nicole: "I know, I know...I'm just thinking."
Monica and Bunky are talking in the living room. Monica says, "Money is the
root of all evil." I guess she got tired of waiting for Hardy to come up
with another Hardyism, so she took it upon herself to come up with one.
"What I don't know, I don't know; what I do know, I know and that's what got me this far." Ah, now THAT'S more like it!
Bunky says that he would promise not to nominate Nicole to stay in the game,
but Monica should not believe it. Monica says that her truth and your truth
are not the same, and that she is sticking by it and by what Jesus said. I
would stick by what Monica said, but I don't know what that was.
Will says he misses Shannon. Nicole says she misses her husband and feels like she has been in the house
for years. She wonders if the producers will show her threatening Will on
the TV show. (I'll bet my left foot they won't.)
Nicole: "I did threaten you last night, but I don't get angry like Hardy
does." Hmmm. I do not believe I've ever heard Hardy refer to any sharp
pointed objects in any of his conversations. He would be more the type to
threaten Murder by Barbell.
Nicole asks Will to swear (again?) not to nominate her - or Hardy - if he
gets HOH. Will asks that in return, he wants her to take him with her to the Final Three.
Will: "It's interesting that Monica doesn't get along with me and I don't
get along with her, which benefits you and Hardy. Imagine if we got along
and you would have to worry about us getting together. I wouldn't be
surprised, if she gets it, that she puts up you and me."
Nicole: "I wouldn't either."
Nicole assures Will that nothing can change Hardy's plan to keep Will in
this week.
Will: "Let me ask you this. If it's me, you, and Hardy - do you think you
would send Hardy?"
Nicole: "I don't honestly know that."
Will: "Thanks for being honest. You'll give me a shot though, huh?"
Nicole: "Oh, yeah, absolutely!"
Hardy is called to the HOH room to get a package. He gets some pictures
from some girl I don't care to hear about and some M&Ms.
What's a good day without a banner - first up this afternoon we have "H/N
NOT SMART W WINS ALL."
I keep trying to tell you folks that I don't care if Hardy's not smart.
Will IS smart and tells Hardy and Nicole that the banner is reverse
psychology at play, trying to convince them to keep Bunky in the house. I
really do wish the banner people would fly something that matters, like "H
PLZ CALL 1-800-BUNNY" or "H LUV w/BUNNY BRNGS MLTIPL CHLDRN."
Bunky and Monica are on the patio, and Bunky is upset about leaving on
Thursday.
Monica: "Feel what you're feeling - let it go."
Bunky: "I believed her when she said she wanted to get Chilltown out."
Monica: "Alot of things were said."
Bunky: "We should've kept Sherry."
Monica: "You learned it the hard way. Just like Krista...Will broke her
heart...she really trusted Will."
Bunky: "What if I had voted for Krista, too - you'd be gone."
Monica: "I know but it's what I'm saying..."
Bunky: "We gotta vote for one of those two a**holes to win ...I'm so sick of
them."
Monica: "They ain't making it no secret s*** - they're rubbing it in our
faces. They got some penance to pay when they get out of here.
Bunky: "F'ing negative...I can't stand her negativity...put her on some
Prozac."
Monica: "I tell you what - they really picked a bunch of people.."
Bunky says the people in the house are nobody to him, and he can forget
about them when he leaves.
Monica: "It's been hard...difficult rollercoast ride...great times...had
more bad times than good times...when you're playing a game you have to roll
with the punches."
Bunky: "They try to control me by telling me when to eat and when to do my
sit-ups."
The Mouse that Roared. Get revenge on them, Bunk. Don't name a bear after
them.
Nicole asks Hardy if the latest banner changes their strategy. Hardy says
the banners are not important. Okay, cancel the banners above. Looks like
they won't sway him to court me.
Here comes another unimportant banner: H & N CALL B SUPERFAG. Oh, people,
people, people. Would you please check with Bunny before you fly a banner?
Bunky calls HIMSELF "Superfag." See, it all started when Will called him
"Superfag," then Bunky called himself "Superfag," then Bunny called him
"Superfag" as a joke because he said it first, and then I think everyone in
the universe called him "Superfag" and he's probably even going to name one
of his Bunky Bears "Superfag." The edition with the cape and bow. So I
could have saved you a few hunnerd bucks had you just emailed me. Bunky will
love the banner because he likes seeing his name in lights - or in print, as
the case may be - and since we all agree that Bill/Buster/Bunky aren't
catchy stage names, I think "Superfag" deserves a look.
Hardy forgets that he offered to vacuum the house. He is in the pool and
hears Nicole vacuuming. Maybe Nicole doesn't deserve to win for cooking and
cleaning, but she at least deserves a star on the June Cleaver Walk of Fame.
Whoops, I said "cleaver."
Bunky's anger has not subsided; he barely speaks to Nicole and Hardy, even
when Hardy tells him his hair looks "fan-tab-u-lous." Maybe telling this to
a bald guy isn't the way to score extra points.
Will and Hardy are in the bathroom. Will is trying to convince Hardy that
Monica needs to go. He sees her as a bigger threat in the finals. Will
says that if he gets HOH, he will put up Hardy and Monica, and Nicole will
vote to save Hardy. Hardy agrees to the deal, saying that he wants to keep
Will around to - are you ready? - SPOT him during workouts. Yeah, that's
just the criteria a player should use in this game. This boy ain't no
dumbbell. No, sir.
Hardy tells Will that his life will be hell if he nominates Nicole with
Hardy. No mention of slitting, chopping, slicing, or other various uses for
cutting blades. Just the old "I'll make your life Hell" line; however, I'm
not quite ready to elevate it to Hardyism status.
Another banner flies: W 2 BREAK DEAL WITH H WILL BIG THREAT. Hardy and
Nicole dismiss it as being from fans of Bunky.
Bunky talks about being on medication for depression, but he discontinued it
before coming into the house. Nicole shares that she has been on many types
of meds "at one point or another and they just medicate you and you skip
your life. You can only live your own life, and medication, in my
perspective, is not going to make it better, just less hurtful."
Bunky confronts Hardy about why he wants Bunky to go instead of Will. He
pleads his case, saying that he is a better one to take to the finals. He
feels betrayed that Hardy and Nicole aren't going to eliminate the last of
Chilltown.
Hardy replies that the game changed when Bunky won several things in a row,
sending up a red flag that he was a bigger threat than Will. He lets Bunky
know what Nicole told him about Bunky's plan to nominate the two of them.
Bunky said he was angry when he said that, and said he would make a deal to
keep their alliance intact.
Hardy says no can do, and the lonesome cowpoke heads off into the horizon
(the couch in the living room) to be alone with his thoughts.
Hardy, lying on the bed in the HOH room, gave instructions to himself to
"stick to your guns, Hardy, stick to your guns."
Nicole gets another banner from her husband: NIC COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS.
Sad to say, Bunny's counting down the days as well. She hates to see a good
game end. She also hates to think about getting back to "real life," but
that's another summary.
More tomorrow.
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