| Bunny | Monday, September 03, 2001 - 09:39 am 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
September 2, 2001
"Hi, my name is Nicole, and I'm addicted to melancholy."
Move over, Kathy Bates - this girl has a lock on the "Misery" role.
Saturday night ended with a tirade of whaa-whaas from Never-Happy Nicole. I can summarize the evening quite quickly for you. Gripey gripe gripe, whiney whine whine, moany moan moan moany. (Where's Billy Idol? Or even Tommy James and the Shondells?)
She admits that BB asked her to get it together or leave the house. I wish they had taken a vote. They would have made a boatload of moola on that America's Choice question. Phone lines would have been jammed all over the country. And not just because Bunny wants Hardy to stay in, although that fact in itself might have warranted taking a few dollar bills out of her cookie jar. Not for nuttin', but if I have a choice between listening to Negative Nancy and looking at BB2's resident Adonis, call me crazy but I'm pulling for the great view. Is that so wrong?
Looks like BB misunderstood the viewers' intentions when they received a petition that said, "Send Nicole to the North Pole." They took it to mean "Turn the backyard into a winter wonderland."
Our resident pessimist doesn't let us down. "I hate snow. They stuffed a real bear? Have some respect for me - I'm an animal lover. Oh, those poor penguins. I hate snow." She goes on to say that there is no end to her hell. I know the feeling.
Monica tells Nicole to try and find something positive about the snow. Nicole positively finds it awful and heads back into the house, then complains about the possibility of having to build a snowman. "I hate building snowmen." I'm waiting for her to find a way to blame Will for the avalanche.
Darn, I wish that snow had been there during the HOH Pee Pee competition. I have no doubt Will would have tried to write something in it - probably another anagram like that William Terence Kirby thingy.
This is not a good week for my honey Hardy. First, he gets nominated. Then, he can't even garner sympathy from his best buddy because she's too ensconced on the Drama Queen throne. I think he's low on protein bars, too, and to top it off there's snow all over the yard and he can't work out. Abominable.
Speaking of snowmen, Will decides to build one with Monica's help. Hardy joins in, but Nicole refuses because she likens it to arts and crafts. And we all know how she feels about arts and crafts.
All the HGs have their own catch phrases. Nicole's is just "F***." We'll have to pay royalties to use that word from now on.
Nicole says she used to live in Michigan where it snowed a lot. She said the bad weather is the reason why people from Michigan are always in a foul mood. Ah, mystery solved.
Will says he may propose to Shannon on the last show. Monica thinks that is silly, even though she is "very romantical."
The HGs are gathering in the living room to greet their surprise guests. Four "Survivor" survivors ring the doorbell and enter the BB house. Now when Monica yells, "This is off the hook," she really means it. Gervase and Sue from "Survivor" enter the house along with Alicia and Jeff from "Survivor: the Outback."
Nicole wastes no time referring to Will as Satan. She feels obligated to fill in the survivors on the Evil that is Will. She also clues them in to her catch phrase at every opportunity.
Hardy wastes a little more time - but not much - before he tells them that he has only one regret about his time in the BB house, and that's his decision to keep Will over Bunky.
No carrots for Nicole or Hardy. But Will is being an entertaining host, and Monica is offering coffee and fresh towels. She makes a vow not to "show out in front of company."
BB brings the group into the Diary Room, two at a time - one HG and one survivor.
An hour into the visit, Jeff tells Will that he doesn't think he could take living with Nicole.
Jeff goes to the Memory Wall and asks about Mike's hairy memory. Nicole proudly announces that she was the shaver and that the hair is from the deepest crevices of Mike's essence. I was hoping never to hear about that creepy butt hair again, but you can't always get what you want.
Alicia says, "I hope no one picks his nose on camera." That must have been a coded shout-out to Mike Boogie.
Sue tells Will that he should stand up to the abuse from Nicole and Hardy. Jeff asks Nicole why she berates Will when she's up for eviction.
Nicole tells her visitors about the banner her husband sent her, and how it was all because of something the "internet nerds" made up. Will says that the nerds have no life and make up things to put on banners. Jeff and Gervase say that they are internet nerds themselves. I'm all for adopting one of these guys as our mascot.
Jeff gets Monica alone and asks her to name the most irritating person in the house. Monica replies, "Nicole." Jeff: "Who goes to the Diary Room the most?" Monica replies, "Nicole."
Sue tells about her bird-hunting hobby, which sends Nicole out of the room (cue dramatic exit). "I can't listen to things like that. It's a respect issue for me." Watch out, Nicole. You're talking in front of Alicia, the finger-waver who poo-poohed Kimmie's love for the Survivor chickens. Funny BB moment: Nicole gets up from the table and Sue begins to loudly relate how cows are slaughtered. Yeah, don't try to put a sock in the mouth of the truck driver from Wisconsin.
The survivors won't say how long they are staying, but tease that they are prepared to stay a week.
Nicole reveals that she is - what? A newlywed? News to me. And that her husband MADE her come into the house. Next time he sends her onto a reality show, he might want to put "No Sangria" on her contract.
Will relates his story of how Hardy voted his gal Shannon out of the house.
Hardy: "I didn't vote her out. I just nominated her." Sue: "You didn't eat her; you just served her on a plate." Best Line of the Day goes to Sue.
Jeff says to Nicole: "You're not happy, are you?" Way to nail it on the head, Jeffo. And you did it in record time, too.
BB announces that it's time for a competition between BB2 and Survivor. I'm hoping it has something to do with eating rice vs. eating pb&j for a week.
Monica is giving Sue a tour of the house. Sue tells Monica that she is amazed at what a b**** Nicole is. Poor Nicole. Being called a b**** by Sue? SUE??? The woman who wrote the book on this subject in the realm of reality television??
Jeff says he loves going in the Diary Room. I think he forgot to turn off his microphone and I heard him say, "I want Hardy, but there's this rabbit after my a**."
Hardy: "We can't even believe we're on a TV show."
Jeff: "You should be afraid."
Alicia: "Don't do that to them."
Jeff: "You should be very afraid."
Nicole says she thinks all the Hardy fans probably hate her. Jeff says, "Hardy has fans?" Well, one, Jeff. One li'l fan.
Nicole asks Jeff about how she is being portrayed on the show. Jeff says he cannot divulge that type of information. Then the girl who came in for the social experiment asks him about fame outside the house, SAG, agents, auditions, what famous people he has met, etc. etc. etc.
Monica gives her point of view about the ongoing game. "They kept me for a reason. They didn't think I could win HOH. People gotta come back and vote. I was never in an alliance."
Jeff: "How do you know you'll be in the final two?"
Monica: "I know."
Alicia asks Jeff where he's sleeping tonight. Nicole tells him he can sleep in the cot next to her - twice. He ignores her both times.
Jeff, Alicia, and Sue huddle in a corner outside. Jeff says the HGs already think they have the game figured out. "Let's screw with their heads. And let me have Nicole."
BB calls Nicole into the storage room to give her the makings for Sangria. They all decide to save it for a late gathering in the hot tub. I wonder how Gervase feels about footsies.
Nicole: "Sue, will you eat spicy food?"
Sue: "I'll eat anything - just don't give me rice." Second Best Line of the Day.
BB calls the SG (Survivor Gang) into the Diary Room. While they are gone, the HGs talk about how excited they are to have guests.
Nicole: "This is the best f'ing surprise."
Will: "For me, it's just nice having people here. I don't know who they are, but I like all of them. I tell you what - those Survivor girls can do a puzzle, too."
Sue says Dick Clark's head is the size of a pumpkin. Just in time for Halloween, too. Nicole wants to talk about her photo and how she doesn't look like that, and how the people in the house drive her crazy, and Nicole this and Nicole that. Hey, I want to hear more about Dick Clark's pumpkin head. Maybe it's the seeds that keep him so young.
Now Nicole wants the SG to know what a good job she did on Will's haircut, and how she was the one to shave all the men down. She also wants to share her skill of sizing up penises. Sue says, "I don't really care. I've got other things to think about, thank God." Nicole says she will share her talent when they all retire to the hot tub. Gee, I can hardly wait.
BB says there will be another challenge and BB2 partners have been chosen by the SG. Gervase chooses Monica, Sue chooses Hardy, Alicia chooses Nicole, and Jeff chooses Will. "Nobody wanted Will, so I took him."
Monica takes Jeff into the bedroom to dress him in one of her wigs and bandanas. He tells her that he wanted her to be his partner in the upcoming challenge but Gervase insisted on teaming up with her. Monica says, "That's sweet -a dark man looking at me." Now, remember what I told you, Monya. Nobody's looking - do your thing, sister friend.
Nicole gives details of the last HOH challenge, and how urine was flowing everywhere. (Episode theme song: Elton John's "Don't Let the Pee Come Down on Me.") Alicia tells about peeing in her clothes one night when she was out with Jeff. This is just oh-so-cool how they have this whole pee pee thing in common, don't you think?
Proof that Jeff watches the internet feeds: He washes his hands after he uses the toilet.
Jeff to Monica: "I saw you walking in the back yard in your bathing suit."
Monica: "Did my ass look big?"
Jeff: "All of you looked good."
Looks like Black Barbarella made an impression.
Gervase asks Monica about the way she's playing the game, because "you are sitting lovely." Monica: "Just don't call me stupid. You think I'm stupid, you're finished." Is it too much to hope that someone will call her stupid just for the fun of it? Maybe Sue. Yeah, Sue, you do it. You people are all getting along too well. It's a holiday weekend, and I want to see some
fireworks.
Monica "cosigns" just about anything and everything. She is cosigning all over the place. I guess she is hoping the SG will pick up her word and take it to the Outback and beyond. I think she's also cosigning Gervase, because she changed clothes, put on a wig and makeup, and is looking fan-tab-u-lous. In orange, of course. Perhaps as a nod to Dick Clark's pumpkin head.
BB gives the next challenge, which is a code the assigned partners must break. The BB2 winner gets a chance to see websites dedicated to him or her on the internet. BB titillates the HGs by allowing them to view one each. The winner will be allowed to see more.
Someone points out that there were over 42,000 hits on one of Hardy's sites. Yeah, talk about a sore paw!
Hardy wins the challenge! How quick can Bunny get a website up, do you think?
After the challenge, Jeff and Monica go outside. Jeff says that Nicole has done nothing but complain since he got there. Monica says that if Nicole wanted things "the way they are back home, she should have stayed home." She says that if she wins the next HOH, she will send Nicole home. "Nicole will send Will home. Will is going to send Hardy home this week. Hardy came in
here like me, but then he got caught up with Nicole and that messed him up. He won't admit it, but that's what happened. Otherwise, he would be staying."
She says she doesn't know if she could beat Hardy in the final two, but she could beat Will and Nicole. Monica's getting a bit cocky. I think those bandanas are starting to swell her head.
Hardy is set up to see his websites. Will wants to know if there are any that involve gay porn. "Maybe Terms of En-rearment?"
BB tells the HGs that there are many websites dedicated to all of them, and that they will be able to spend hours surfing the internet when they get out. (But then that would make them net nerds.) BB says you can even communicate with people on the web. Okay, BB, feel free to give Hardy my email address. Oh, and Will would be okay. I might like to spar with Willard. Besides, I want those shorts. And I could see myself keeping it real with Monica. But don't give my email address to Nicole. If I need a recipe for Sangria or roasted corn, I'll let you know.
But wait, she knows where Hardy lives. Better let her have it.
Hardy thanks someone named Angela for her website. I'm changing my name to Angela.
Unrequited love is so painful.
Jeff asks for the scoop on Krista. Alicia wants to know if she drank two bottles of Nyquil. Will says, "Not in a row."
They all sit down to one of Nicole's delicious dinners. She is in her element, serving up the grub. They all compliment her on the meal.
All head outside for conversation about eating bugs and about what bugs the HGs, one in particular.
More tomorrow.
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