| Bunny | Tuesday, September 04, 2001 - 09:19 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
September 4, 2001
Mention hasn't been made yet of yesterday's banner for Nicole. SMILE NIC. WE LOVE YOU. Nicole leaped up and yelled when the banner came. Hey, wasn't that guy who shouted "Zee plane, zee plane!" named Tattoo? Just wondering.
Did you happen to see Nicole in that long-sleeve white - I'm guessing jersey knit - shirt she had on the other night? It was extremely flattering, and I must give Nicole credit for having it in her wardrobe. "Survivor" Jeff, stop by the house again and tell her you've changed your mind about the black dress. She cooked you a good meal, she gave you a massage - the least you can do is save her the embarrassment. Fly a banner if you have to: N JUST SAY NO 2 DIAPHANOUS PANTS.
Hardy received a new banner, too: HARDY UR THE REAL WINNER WE (heart) YOU. No one even asked me to go in on that one. I woulda done it. Except I spent my last 100 bucks sending flowers to Boogie.
Hardy finally found his toothbrush. Or, rather, I think Nicole did. It was folded up in a towel. And where there are towels, so goes Nicole.
Nicole and Hardy have a late-night conversation on Monday night about whether or not either one of them should concede to the other. Of course, they decide that neither should, but they are both fine with leaving. I have mixed feelings here. Hardy is Bunny's eye candy, and when he's around Bunny, he's a sweetheart. Nicole, on the other hand, gives Bunny lots more to write about. So I will be a good sport no matter what happens and make Gatorade out of gators.
Nicole and Hardy try to figure out which former HGs would vote for Nicole to win the big money.
Hardy: "You would have Sherry, Kent, Autumn, and Krista? No, she would vote for Will."
Nicole: "You, Bunky."
Hardy: "If you are up against Monica, you would have me, Autumn, Kent, Boogie and Shannon, Bunky."
Word to Nicole: Don't count your chickens before they vote.
Hardy says that if he stays in the house, he knows he cannot get the votes to beat either Will or Monica.
Nicole tells Hardy that if he can strike a deal to win, she will not be upset. "We had a good ride. We controlled the game half the time. We beat out eight other people. It was a good run."
I certainly will be sorry to see Hardy go. Paradise Lost.
Nicole advises Hardy not to tie himself down to any one woman when he leaves the house. "Take advantage of your 15 minutes. You have so much more opportunity than I do." I don't know, Nic. You have that whole chef's knife thing going on. It should at least get you a guest shot on the Cooking Channel. You and Justin could do a spoof on Donnie and Marie - "She's a little bit chef's knife; he's a little bit butcher blade."
Hardy says he'll think about staying loose when he gets out, although he might give consideration to getting a pet rabbit.
Nicole tells Hardy that Will promised to keep her in the game. She will try to win for Hardy. I would prefer to let Hardy win for Hardy, but I realize we may not be on the same page with that one.
Monica is sad that Bunky didn't get to meet Jeff. Will says it would be great if Rosie O'Donnell had Bunky on her show and brought out Jeff to surprise him. "That's just the kind of thing she would arrange." And little do they know how much they have in common. They're both from the South, they're both cute as a button, and they both would make great spokesmen for Beano.
Nicole says she won't cut Will's hair for him again until Friday. Will says, "Why not? You're going to trade a haircut for collateral?" Good strategy, Nic. Aim at Will's vanity and you're a shoo-in to stay on Thursday. I like it.
Nicole tells Will that she and Hardy decided they wouldn't make any deals with Will - that whatever he decides, they will accept.
The HGs, without Sue to wake them up, sleep very late Tuesday. They head for the backyard, where Monica says she just wants to reflect on the past few days. Seeing the "Survivor" gang at the door was like getting an Easy Bake oven for Christmas when she was a child. (Wow! You don't get any better than that!) She just wants to sit and stew on it for awhile.
Nicole says she and her husband argue about which of them is tanner. "I'm tanner than you." "No, I'm the tannest." Maybe this playful argument can be extended to "My melanoma is more serious than yours." "No, mine is killing me. I win."
Monica stops her stewing to help Will wash the towels. Someone make sure they get Brownie points for this at next Monday's meeting, okay?
Nicole gives Hardy the wedding ring from her first marriage to signify her devotion. Don't ask me why she brought it in the house in the first place. And don't ask me why she thinks Hardy would want it. Unless he can melt it down and make some brass knuckles or something?
Monica's looking "too hot to trot" in her neon pink bathing suit. She went out on a limb ditching the orange for today, but it works for her.
Nicole cooks a delicious Asian meal. Hardy says he won't eat off paper plates. Okay, that's it. We're breaking up.
Monica asks the other HGs what movie each would have liked to have been in.
Will: "Fight Club"
Hardy: "The Matrix"
Nicole: "Titanic"
I picked my own movies for the HGs:
Will: "Rebel Without a Core"
Hardy: "The Raging Bully"
Nicole: "One Banner Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
Monica: "Dances with Wackos"
Hardy and Will talk about the banner that asked for the eviction of Will's shorts. Will confirms that he hasn't washed them yet, but he does get in the pool everyday. Monica says that's nasty. Yeah, it is. I want to formally rescind my offer to buy them.
Monica is having a big problem with gas tonight. Therefore, I would like to change her movie to "Tootsie."
Hardy says he really misses Bunky, and he doesn't enjoy working out anymore without him there to encourage him. I miss Bunky, too, Hardy. It was just about time to shave a third billboard on his back, and I had been working on some ad ideas.
Monica gets some more photos from home, but she is upset that they aren't getting any beer tonight. "We got the wine the other day; we didn't get beer. I understand why, but I don't know why we didn't get it today. That's not nice. We did good. We didn't do anything wrong not to get any."
Well, you see, Monya, I think the producers want that whole hot tub thing to die down first before they give you kiddies any more Koolaid. That might lead to water lap dances and a rousing game of "Whose Foot Is That On My C***?" and then that leads to banners for the married players and that leads to a depletion of the BB Xanex supply. And as a producer, you have to be able to count on having a full medicine cabinet.
Hardy decides to buck up and work out without his li'l buddy. Will, Monica, and Nicole are in the hot tub. Will asks Monica, "Are you going to fart up a storm in here?" Monica replies, "No, it's not happenin' just now." Nicole moves over in the tub, presumably to avoid a Close Encounter of the Smelly Kind. (Sorry, I'm on a movie kick. I'll stop.)
Nicole wants some Sangria now. I guess she didn't hear what I said.
Monica and Nicole talk about wanting to go on Oprah's show. Nicole says she wants to meet Dr. Phil. That is so funny! Because just the other day, when you were in the hot tub with Will, I was thinking that you should! Great minds think alike, I guess.
Monica leaves the hot tub and sits alone on the patio with a book of matches handy. (Good thing, too.) She says, "What choo talkin' 'bout? (toot) What choo talkin' 'bout?" over and over. I did read once about an old Indian remedy for flatulence that involved asking your ass questions until it no longer replied.
More toot-morrow.
 |
