| Bunny | Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 08:03 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
September 5, 2001
Before he goes to bed on Tuesday night, Hardy decides to return the ring Nicole gave him. You know, the one from her first marriage. The marriage that didn't work. The jury's still out on the second one.
Hardy: "I've been thinking about the ring you gave me. I just don't feel it's right or appropriate having a symbol of a broken marriage on my finger. I don't want you to take it the wrong way." (Good thing he put on his bullet-proof shield.)
Nicole: "Okay. Well, you won't wear one of my earrings. What am I going to give you?"
Hardy: "How about those luscious diaphanous pilazzo pants? Throw them over a Speedo and I'm to die for, don't you think?" I mean..."You don't have to give me anything. Look, please don't misinterpret this. I just think it's bad luck."
Nicole: "Okay."
Nicole applies a nasal strip before she retires. You know, between her discarded strips and Kent's nicotine patches, I'm thinking that Bunky's auction could be interesting. Boogie's butt hair is best left growing mold on the Memory Wall, but some of the other things might bring in some dough. Krista's empty Nyquil bottle, Justin's smashed Jr. Mints - there's no limit.
Hardy is the first one up Wednesday morning. He cooks up a big ol' heapin' plate of scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. (He can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.) Then he tackles his laundry. This boy can work. I'm entertaining thoughts of renting him for awhile. My own personal Love Slave.
Will joins Hardy for a game of basketball, then some conversation on the patio.
Hardy: "When you get out of here, what are you planning to do?"
Will: "Going to Miami after a week, get my car, go to the hospital and say hello to a few people, pick up a couple of paychecks and come out to L.A. If it doesn't work out, I will go back to Miami. I'm sure, though, that I could make a living at least for a year out here."
Will continues: "Although it's very undignified, I'm very happy to have been here all this time. I don't think my parents or Shannon will be happy with the way I have been, but my brother will think it's really funny and people like Gervase and Jeff. Certain people will think it's really funny, but people like producers and directors from whom I may want to get work, may not think it's funny at all."
Will thinks Hardy will get a lot of work when he gets out. (See Love Slave above.)
Hunky Hardy and America's Heart Throb discuss some of the evicted HGs.
Will: "Kent really p***ed me off nominating Krista and Mike."
Hardy: "I just hung back - let him cut his own throat."
Will: "I was trying to keep Boogie."
Hardy: "The thing that hurt Chilltown is the way you separated yourselves from the rest of us."
Will: "I know. Bunky was my favorite, yet we didn't speak for six weeks."
Hardy: "He is a great guy. I learned a lot from him."
Will: "He taught me sensitivity and tolerance."
And don't forget that he taught you how to wear a shiny shirt and pull it off. And how to shave letters and numbers and circles in your back hair and make it work. And how to show your emotions on live television and not come off looking like a rep for Crybabies, Inc. Well, maybe not that last one.
Nicole wakes up and joins the boys outside. Hardy says he has been rehearsing his speech for tomorrow's live show. He wants to go first because he knows Nicole's speech will make him cry (Refer Hardy to above organization). Nicole says she wants to go first because Hardy will take up too much time and cut into hers. Gee, they're already fighting for top billing.
Nicole tells Hardy that she is afraid to face her husband.
Hardy: "You have nothing to be frightened about. The banner was great."
Nicole: "I didn't consider it a nice banner."
Hardy: "But he says he loves you. What would have made you happy?" (That, Hardy, is the $64,000 question.)
Nicole: "A banner that says, 'I have no issues.' When my husband has issues, he has them. I will not be able to deal with them when I get out. I've never been great with relationships."
Personally, I'm thinking one step toward forming stronger relationships would be to not walk out on a new marriage just to be on TV. Because, that's, like, not a normal thing to do. Especially if you don't need the money from the game part of being on TV. And especially if you don't know how Sangria might affect your feet.
Nicole continues: "My mental state is just not stable enough now and it definitely won't be when I get out of here. And it's even worse thinking he'll be there tomorrow and I won't see him."
Nicole says this is going to be another Xanex day. OMG, you are NOT going to put us through THAT again, are you? Okay, well, if you do, could you do that raccoon eye thing you did the last time because it looked really freaky on TV and I enjoyed that.
Nicole, talking about Will, tells Hardy that she has never had so much hatred for one person in her life. Hardy says, "You lie!" Bunny says, "Yes, what Hardy said!"
Monica is the last to awaken and calls herself names for sleeping so late. Nicole tells Monica that she doesn't feel well today and that it needs to be "a drug day." She tells Will that she thinks she might have an ulcer.
Monica is looking gorgeous in a green shirt and green bandana today. She's gone from being an orange to being an apple. Not that I'm calling Monica a fruit. Far from it.
Nicole goes into the Diary Room and returns with the information that HOH will be determined on the live show Thursday. She says there will probably be a rehearsal for it. She says she asked them what they should wear. I guess the real question should have been, "Do we need to wear something moisture-absorbant?"
Nicole decides to fix chicken salad for the other three HGs. While she's preparing it, I wish that BB would flash the step-by-step recipe on the screen. Then it wouldn't be such a waste of time to watch.
Maybe I should publish a book of the summaries when this is over and put some of Nicole's recipes in the back. That, along with some workout tips from Hardy, some medical advice from Will, and Bunky's Top Ten List of Disco Favorites. Kent can tell us how to stop smoking. Shannon could just include some cheesecake photos to draw male buyers. Autumn? The benefits of getting plenty of potassium in your diet. From Sherry I would want fashion tips and 101 Ways to Use Whipped Cream. Monica might provide us with some nuggets to use in motivational speaking. In the kiddie section, I'll put a few rhymes from Mike, a Mother's Day message from Krista, and a promo by Justin to encourage little folks not to play with knives.
Lots of people in Vegas probably lost money today because Will finally washed his shorts.
Nicole asks Hardy if he is sorry for teaming up with her in the game. He says his only regret is voting out Bunky. (Same song, jillionth verse.) Nicole says, "I'm just thinking how much I suck. It's all my fault."
Let me say that again.
Nicole says, "It's all my fault."
That's right, boys and girls. Nicole just took the blame for something. I'm not sure what, but it doesn't matter. She took the blame, and that's a BB moment we should all earmark. Get out your pads and pencils and write down the time. Your grandchildren might be quizzed on it in history class one day.
Hardy asks Nicole, "What pains you?" To which she replies, "Everything pains me. Life pains me."
I just found my line for the Nicole doll. Get ready to pull the string.
The thing that pains Hardy - besides voting out Bunky, that is - is that he's been smoking. And I bet the reason that pains Hardy is because it pains his grandmother when she's watching the show with the pained ladies from her church.
Nicole says she doesn't like to think about being in the house without Hardy. I don't either, Nic. Why even turn on the computer? Why even get out of bed? Why even write the summaries?
She thinks there's a possibility that Will will pull a fast one and evict her on the live show rather than Hardy. Hardy says that Will is too intent on getting revenge for Shannon. As if that whole toothbrush in the toilet thing wasn't enough.
Nicole walks through the kitchen where Will is getting something to eat. She looks sad, and he asks her what is wrong. She says, "Nothing." He says, "Are you serious? What's wrong?" She says again, "Nothing!" but then goes to the bedroom where she falls on the bed in tears. This doesn't surprise me, because she's in pain. Everything pains her. Life pains her.
Will tells Nicole that he knows what it's like to be nominated with a friend. Monica says, "It's different when it happens to you." Will: "When you and Krista were nominated at the same time, I told you I knew how you felt but I couldn't make you feel better." Two, count 'em, TWO big plot developments in one day. Nicole took blame, and Will had feelings.
Nicole gets more information on the HOH competition. It will be three parts, and the first part will take place on the live show Thursday. I hope Part I consists of trivia questions: "Where did Hardy go to high school? What is the name of Hardy's grandmother? How much does Hardy weigh? Which one of you is Hardy?"
Nicole asks Will, "Are you going to f*** me over again tomorrow?" So much for not caring whether or not she goes.
Will tells her that he understands how depressed she is that she and Hardy will be split up tomorrow. Nicole says, "Gee, do you think?"
All Time Best Line of the Season comes from Will. "Look at me, Nicole....QUIT WHINING!" I think he should have said, "Quit f'ing whining," but who am I to quibble over the All Time Best Line of the Season.
BB is going to show the HGs some video footage from their hometowns. Nicole tells the others that she has known about this for two weeks, but was sworn to secrecy by BB. (Not fair! Daddy's playing favorites!) She says they withheld showing it before because they were concerned about her mental stability. Do you mean the stability that seemed to whip itself back into shape when Gervase & Co. arrived? Do you mean the stability that seemed okay until she took her hand off the key? Or do you mean the stability that came back when Will told her he was going to keep her in the house? I'm just wondering. Because I like to observe the comings and goings of mental stability, and I like to know when it's time to step in and give it some presents.
Nicole reveals that they had a video for Bunky. Hmmm....so Bunky didn't get to see his video because Nicole wasn't mentally stable. That darn Will. I'm sure he had something to do with this.
Monica and Nicole say they hope that Hardy finds someone who will be good to him. (Bunny's hand shoots up.)
Nicole goes into the HOH room to present Monica with one of her shirts as a souvenir of the time spent together in the house. I don't know about you, but I think any time Monica needs a reminder of Nicole, all she'll need to do is turn on HBO. The language should immediately take her back.
Nicole takes another look at her web site poster, nicslips.com. Bunny has one, too, called harelips.com but she hasn't gotten around to blowing up the home page on a poster.
The HGs gather in the living room for their videos. I hope Nicole is able to cope.
More tomorrow.
 |
