| Bunny | Monday, September 10, 2001 - 08:59 pm 
Bunny Tales
Welcome to the Live Feed Summaries!
September 10, 2001
Okay, I thought about it and decided I need to face reality - my own - and take the advice of friends who think it's time to come to terms with losing Hardy. "Get a grip," they say. "Pick up the pieces and move on," they say. "Get a grip," they say again. (My friends don't have that many cliches at the ready.)
They really don't understand how I feel. I try to tell them that it's just like when George Clooney left "ER." Like when Johnny Carson left "The Tonight Show." Like when Gomer left Mayberry. They still say, "Get a grip." Some people just can't fathom the depths of true love.
Anyway, I'll struggle on. Stay with me, dear friends. Support me to the end. We'll get through this together. But just so you know, I got fired for carving "Bunny loves Hardy" in my mahogany desk at work. It's important to be up front with any of you people who have wood-defacing issues.
Okay, let's see, where was I - oh, yes, Sunday night. Well, Nicole and Monica have an evening chat about the early days of Nicole's relationship with her husband. Having to work sex in between child visitation seemed to take some planning. You know, Nicole's a sexual person. She'll tell you that, her husband will tell you that, and now 3,000 members of the Big Brother Fan Club can tell you that. Who knows where information like that can take you?
Nicole tells Will that she has her speech planned for Thursday. He wants to hear it, but she says he'll have to wait. She does tell him that it is interesting. Uh...define interesting.
I wonder if she's been practicing it WITH cuss words or without. That's important when you're timing it, you know.
Will says he is trying to figure out if Nicole has ever been dishonest with him. She says, "I'm always honest, even to you. I was only dishonest one time, and that was with Krista." Oh, yeah, that whole "take Krista to the top" thing. It got all mixed up with the social experiment thing and then the "Hardy, I won't try to do anything to get you kicked out of the house" thing and I kind of forgot about it.
Nicole talks about "the internet dorks" and how they write everything down that goes on in the house. Kind of like me writing down right now that Nicole says, "People are writing everything down that goes on in the house." Will finds this "spooky," especially if they're writing down how many times he has diarrhea. (Three.)
Nicole says she only worries about her husband watching the 'net, not the dorks. Yeah, I hear ya on that, Nic. If you run into one of us after the last show and we yell, "The weather's all clear!," you won't even flinch. However, if those are the first words you hear coming from Hubby's mouth upon your exit, I think it's safe to say that your comfort level will be at an all-time low.
Will says people are probably wondering why "twelve dumba**es would want to live together in a house for 72 days." Yeah, sorta.
Nicole tells Will that she thinks women are smarter than men, and that they aren't as power-hungry as a whole. She did say, "as a whole."
Nicole thinks that maybe the third place winner will get a dream trip. (She sure does want that cruise from Greece back, doesn't she?) She says that if she gets evicted next Thursday, she would like to stick around L.A. for a week and see the city, do some "mack a**" shopping, go to Belly. "Mack a**" shopping? What is that exactly? Hitting McDonald's? Driving down Rodeo Drive in a mac truck? Somebody tell me, please. I'm modern slang-deficient.
The Three Amigos discuss songs and music videos. Nicole mentions a Michael Jackson video that featured a "light black lady." Monica asks, "What do you mean, 'a light black lady?'" Uh oh.
"Light-skinned," says Will. Monica: "I never heard that before. That is hilarious." Whew.
The next morning, Will asks Nicole if she is still cool with the HOH competition, Part II of which takes place later today. She says, "What do you mean?" He reminds her of their agreement to take each other to the finals. Nicole tells him he has nothing to worry about.
Nicole brings up last night's discussion about skin tones to Monica. She says that there are different skin tones for white people. Monica says that white people do not call each other light- or dark-skinned.
Nicole: "I will call someone light-complexioned, and my friends will think I'm talking about a very light-skinned, like, Irish girl with very fair skin." (And I bet SHE would like Lucky Charms.)
Monica: "I've never heard that in all my life, Nicole. White people do not describe each other by the tone of their skin."
Nicole: "Well, maybe it's a Georgia thing." (Now let's not bring the great state of Georgia into it.)
Monica: "I never in all my life heard of that."
Nicole: "Are you thinking I'm being politically incorrect?" (Bill Mahar, what say you?)
Monica: "I did not say that, Nicole. I would say that right out. What I am saying to you is that I never in all my life heard white people refer to each other in that way." (And, in all my life, I never heard anyone say "in all my life" so many times in one conversation.)
Nicole: "No, I said we did, and you said that's not right." (Okay, girls, chill out. And have a peach. A Georgia peach. A light-skinned peach or a dark-skinned peach. It doesn't matter.)
Monica: "If that's what I meant - that you were wrong to say that - that is what I would have said. I just haven't heard it before." (That's the Monica we know and love. I can't deal with it when what she says makes sense.)
Monica goes outside to walk around the yard, and Nicole asks Will, "Jesus God. Was that offensive?" (While I'll admit he's a demigod to some, don't call Will "Jesus.")
Will: "There was this black girl, Asian girl, and Jew in the house."
Nicole: "You've never heard of light, medium, and dark complexion? How in the world is that offensive? I don't understand. She can be mad. Walk it off, girl. Just another thing for her to be pissed off at me about. Put it on the list." (Mine or hers?)
Will: "I was waiting for this argument to come up. It went better than I thought, actually."
Nicole: "She's pissed off because I'm clean and I make dinner."
Will: "That pisses me off, too!"
C'mon, people, now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together and love one another right now. Right now.
BB sends the HGs to lockdown for a couple of hours to get ready for the second portion of the HOH competition. Will tells Monica and Nicole not to fight.
After lockdown is over, Monica is called to the Diary Room for the competition. While she is gone, Will and Nicole whisper.
Will: "I suspect you are going to do very well with this. If you do well in this, and I do well in this, the show's over."
Nicole: "S***, let's get this over with! It makes me too upset. You know how upset I get." Yep, we've seen it. Up close and personal.
More talk about the skin tone discussion.
Nicole: "It was funny last night and now this morning it upsets her? Like if she called me a dark person I should be upset?"
Will: "Engaging in an argument makes you look like, you know."
Nicole: "I know, but I was just trying to get her to explain it to me. How is that offensive? That's how you buy makeup. Either I offended you or I didn't."
Will: "It was just a projection of the stress of the HOH."
Nicole: "I don't care. She can just take her stress out somewhere else."
Okay, nothing funny there.
Nicole tells Will that it blows that second place doesn't get more than $50,000. Will says he's "happy, cool with everything," and can't wait to see his friends. Somebody fill me in. When did Will turn into Rainbow Brite?
Talking about the end, Will says, "The only person who can say anything to you is Krista."
Nicole: "No, Autumn can, and Kent."
Will: "Of those three people, Kent and Autumn, it's going to be nasty. And Bunky, too. At the beginning, I hated Bunky and made no bones about it. I liked him at the end. Bunky and Krista were the first I said goodbyes to. Boogie's was weird, and Shannon's sucked."
Will talks about the mean things he said about Kent in the Diary Room.
Nicole: "Why?"
Will: "Because he was really mean to Shannon, Boogie, and Krista - my crew. I'm not justifying it, I'm just telling you what I said. In the beginning, I said Bunky was an embarrassment to gay people. Bunky and I came to terms with it. The worst is Monica. I've gone off on her from day one."
Nicole: "It will be nice if it's just you and me after Thursday."
And it looks like that's the two who will compete for HOH on Thursday, because after some type of indoor obstacle course, Monica appears to be out. So for those of you who can't bear to see Will and Nicole win the money, read no further. Turn off the computer, ignore the TV. The Devil and the Discontented Dame of Declivity are pairing up.
Monica gets a banner: M & ADULT LITERACY #1. If that isn't an oxymoron, I don't know what is.
Will and Monica discuss the HOH competition. Apparently, it involved peanut butter. Peanut butter that sent Will retching. Monica says it wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been crunchy peanut butter. I'm not sure it matters when it's coming up.
Nicole asks Will if he tried to throw HOH again. Will says, "Nicole, please, let's be cool for once. Everything's fine now, right?" Nicole wants him to swear on his relationship with Shannon that he will take her with him to the end. He swears. Of course, he may not really have a relationship with Shannon, but that's neither here nor there when it comes to Will and his oaths.
Nicole says she is worried about not getting Sherrie's vote since she didn't nominate Will as she has promised. She feels the same way about Kent. Will says he will nullify Hardy's vote, and that he assumes Nicole will nullify Shannon's. Will promises to scorch anyone who asks him a mean question during the final competition. His use of the word "scorch" is funny, don't you think? Seeing as how he's the Devil and all? And look. He's having a "hot" dog for lunch. What, no deviled eggs? At least he's not eating anything "fried," even though he IS truly "fired up" about dinner.
The HGs are getting their shopping list together. Will needs hair conditioner, and he takes the opportunity to remind Nicole that she hasn't cut his hair as promised. Maybe because Will didn't ask her to swear on her relationship with Hardy that she would cut it.
Nicole adds Woolite to the shopping list. You mean, they ran out of f'in' Woolite and we didn't hear Nicole say a word about it? Don't tell ME this girl can't control her anger.
She says they also need some Bounce. Oh, no, Nicole, you said "bounce." Hardy was a bouncer. You really know how to kick a gal when she's down, don't you?
Nicole tells Will that she heard Monica screaming in the Diary Room about Nicole's skin tone comments. Will says he doesn't understand Monica's anger, because he wasn't upset when Monica made a comment about Jews owning all the buildings. "This group was the least prejudicial group of people!" Sounds like Monica is still upset, and Nicole is upset that she's still upset, and Will doesn't think anyone should be upset at all. I could have saved myself a lot of typing if I had just said that in the first place.
Nicole tells Will that he always smells bad. Will apologizes and says, "That's funny. I always use cologne and stuff. I feel bad that I smell bad." I wonder if there's any correlation between body odor and shaving every bit of hair off your body. Or between body odor and being the Devil.
Nicole says she is going to open the first gym for smokers. Ooh, who wants nicotine stains on the barbells? I can see it, though - "The gym where you can huff AND puff!" If Hardy's there, count me in on a lifetime membership.
More tomorrow.
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