Bunny's Live Feed Summary - Wednesday, July 10, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archive: USA 2002:
Bunny's Live Feed Summaries:
Bunny's Live Feed Summary - Wednesday, July 10, 2002
| Thursday, July 11, 2002 - 12:58 am |
And we're off!
Bear with me, dear readers, while I try to sort out Who's Who and What's What in this game. Bunny hasn't done her homework and will have to figure out the players as she goes along. All I know is Hardy's not here. But then, neither is Boogie, so the news is not all bad.
The players have already been in the house a few days but our first peek at them finds them making dinner. Gerry, the oldest person in the house, is putting the finishing touches on a Caesar's salad. Ah, Gerry, the way to a bunny's heart is through her stomach. And you're providing her with lettuce on the very first day she tunes in. Well done, my friend. Carrots to you for being a man who can cook.
We spot Lisa, the raven-haired bartender from L.A (say you're from Belly's, Lisa, and I'll have to slap you silly) in the kitchen. She has a key around her neck, indicating that she's the first Head of Household (HOH). Congrats, luv. You must be feeling oh-so-special.
We soon gather from a conversation between "I'm in retail sales but, man, could I ever be a Vegas showgirl" Tonya and nasal-toned Wisconsinite (is that like Samsonite?) Lori that Marcellas and Lori are the first nominees for eviction. Why Marcellas, I'm not sure, but my guess is that Lori's getting the hammer because that voice of hers would make anyone run for earplugs. Behold the power of cheese.
Tonya shares that when she first enters a room "all they see is blonde hair and big boobs." No, I see black roots, too. But, yes, I do see the boobs. And something tells me that you wanted to make sure nobody missed them. Especially the parts that are spilling out of the sides of your blue halter top right now. D cup runneth over.
But, folks, Tonya wants you to know something. "I'm not stupid," she says. "I can sell jewelry." She wants you to know that you have to be really smart to sell bracelets. "There's a lot to learn about it." I missed Jewelry Sales 101 in college and after listening to Tonya, I realize that I'm just not smart enough to work the jewelry counter at Sears. There really is just too much to learn. Heck, start with the difference between silverplate and goldplate. There's a chapter by itself right there. And don't get me started on pierced vs. clip-on. It makes my head spin.
Lori tells Tonya that she thinks she'll do well in this game because "it's my nature to make fast friends." Who wants to be the one to tell her that usually being nominated means one of your fast friends wants you to make a fast exit.
Tonya says that she wants to win the money for her kids. Say, how much do implants cost anyway? If things don't work out in the game, all's not lost. There might be school tuition for one right under your nose. Literally.
Lori and Tonya both agree that they want one of the mommies to win all the money. I just want all the mommies to stay at home and be mommies. You know, teach their children that they, too, with hard work, can buy all the silicone the world has to offer. No need to win money in a game show where you expose yourself to the world. (Feel free to give me two points every time I work the word "expose" into a paragraph about Tonya.)
It's now exercise time outdoors. Amy from Memphis must have left all of her Elly May Clampett shorts at home because she's ready to do leg lifts in the blazing California sun in black pants and a long-sleeved black shirt. Her blonde hair is braided; obviously, she's going for the Swiss-Miss-Does-Cat-Burglar look.
Uh-oh. Word to Gerry. Black socks with shorts is a big no-no in the high gloss world of fashion. You're a "stah" now, Ger. Get a stylist.
Eric and Roddy are lifting weights. I'm guessing that Eric looks better when he's cleaned up, but today he's one step away from Anson on The Chris Isaac Show. Maybe if I could just see him in his firefighter uniform, I'd be sold. But for now, I'm still in mourning over the abs of a houseguest forever archived in my files. [Insert sigh.]
Someone remarks that the internet is already watching. Yep, the internet and Bunny. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
It appears that Amy doesn't really want to exercise. No, she wants to demonstrate her agility to us all. She lies on the ground, raises her legs, and puts them behind her ears. Hey, I thought she was supposed to play the Southern Belle role! No Memphis belle I ever saw would be caught dead with her legs in the air, much less behind her big ol' Southern head. I do declare, Miss Scarlett, it ain't fittin', it just ain't fittin'!
Marcellas discusses the fact that he's gay with a couple of other houseguests. He says he didn't "want to put it out there" when he first came into the house. I wish you had at least waited until I tuned in, Mar. It would have beat the heck out of watching these people do crunches.
Josh the New Yawker and Jason the Virgin discuss Tonya's assets - make that phony assets - and the fact that she has five children. No comments are made about her ability, or lack thereof, to breastfeed.
What's Big Brother without a few flatulence discussions? Marcellas starts the ball rolling this year by letting Danielle know that he won't stay in a room with her if she's planning on letting one go. "If I'm going to stay and hear anyone fart, it's going to be me." You gotta love a man who respects his own booty burps.
Lori and Marcellas huddle to talk about their nominations. Marcellas said he was thinking about giving up, but now he is ready to fight. He doesn't want the internet to see him locked up in his room, crying that BB ruined his life. Thank you for that, Marcie. We had all of that we could handle last year.
He furthur declares that he doesn't want to be sitting around picking his teeth while everyone else is working out. Heck, dude, we'd prefer the teeth-picking over the nose. Trust me on that.
Lucky us! We're privy to our first Hot Tub episode, starring Gerry, Tonya, Amy, Lisa, Eric, and writer Roddy. (Hey, Rodman, if you document your escapades in book form, don't you go stealing any of Bunny's stuff!)
Tonya doesn't waste any time discussing her monumental breasteses, the surgeries she has endured, and the scars she has suffered. I'm surprised this information hasn't leaked out before now. Whoops, I said "leak." And darn it if that isn't what Miss Tonya is talking about right this very minute. Those pesky leaks after her new boobs burst at the seams. Tell me, Ton, is it kinda like when a water bed gets a hole in it? Just wondering if you have to keep one of those Patch-It kits on hand at all times. BB luxury item for the grocery list, maybe?
Lori tells Marcellas that her mother thought she would be nominated first because she's "too intimidating." I guess Lor's mom talks the same way she does, so the thought that her daughter's voice could scare a tick off a hound didn't enter her mind.
Tonya is talking about the nominations with Danielle, the media buyer. (Hey, how does one buy media anyway, and do you have to be smart to sell it? Cuz, I mean, you have to be smart to sell jewelry. There's a lot to learn, you know.)Tonya makes it clear that she is voting to keep Lori.
Tonya is holding court with the guys out on the patio. Josh claims that the tabloids will be doing stories about his relationship with Tonya. Yeah, Josh, "Beauty and the Bozo."
Chiara speaks! For a minute I thought we were going to have another Monica, she of so few words. But I pegged this one wrong. She not only talks, she uses words like "s---" and "d---head." Thanks, Chiara. Dare I hope that
you'll expand our limited curse-word vocabulary? If not, we can always count the times she says "like," since it's, like, several times in a sentence.
Oh, yeah, while we're on the subject of naughty words, Tonya calls her built-in floaties "chi chis." Yeah, I said "chi chis." Isn't that a Mexican restaurant chain? That would make sense since her plastic surgeon is named Julio.
And Josh calls his favorite appendage his "Joshua tree." Now ain't that just the cutest?
Gerry, Amy, and Marcellas are playing cards. Gerry says that the internet is on a seven-minute delay. Gerry, Gerry, Gerry. No computer access last year? Ignorance is bliss - for us, that is, because Gerry assures everyone that the network won't show anything that will embarrass it OR the players. Too late, Ger. They showed you in your black socks.
And li'l Amy thinks it's video only. Sorry, Amy, we're getting audio and thank goodness for that, because I don't want to miss a single crass word that Chiara throws out there.
Lori and Tonya clue Jason in to Josh's plan to get rid of Marcellas. It appears that Josh talked half the group into forming an alliance with the stipulation that Marcellas be the first to go. Jason agrees with Lori and Tonya that Josh cannot be trusted. Not Josh, and certainly not Josh's tree.
Eric and Roddy build the perfect beast in the kitchen - a mascot of sorts made from things they found around the house. Wilson was cuter, and the Melon Man from BB2 had a kinder face. But at least they are showing signs of creativity. The bigger news here is that Eric indeed looks better after a shower.
Oh, I almost forgot. The HGs have two pet lizards or kimono dragons or kharma chameleons or something. Who cares? If they aren't into eavesdropping, I'm not interested in having them around. Unless you put them on leashes and bring back George to walk them in the garden. Then they would be slightly amusing.
Outside, Roddy offers Eric a cigar and Eric accepts it and lights up. Gee, just what I like to see. A firefighter who smokes.
In the bedroom, Chiara and Danielle discuss the game. Danielle thinks Eric may be lying to her. Chiara talks about one of the males HGs: "Even if I do **** him, I'll still boot his a** out." Oh, that Chiara. I bet she never wears pink.
(1) Tonya has stretch marks on her thighs. Her boyfriend also has stretch marks. I would say it's important in true love to find something in common, but this is stretching it a bit.
(2) Lisa hides from the cameras. I can't find that girl anywhere.
(3) Jason is sweet, and I think I love him. But right now, I'm hungry - so I'm going with Gerry and the salad.
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