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Bunny
| Monday, July 14, 2003 - 3:23 pm 
In the wee hours of Sunday morning, after Scott is scooted out, the HGs are sitting in the living room mulling over the events. Jack says, "They have good people working here." Yes, it's a great gig, Jack. Their money for nothing and their peeks at chicks for free.
Alison throws Scott's bed sheeting into the washer to remove the cooties. (Make that Scooties.) I next expect a call to BB3's Eric to come in and hose them down. (If that happens, let me know. I seem to recall that Eric was always good with his hose.)
Dana, the winner of the Power of the Veto, wants to use it. Jee asks her to put in Erika. I say go for it if it will make her stop doing pirouettes.
In the HOH room, Nate tells Alison not to cross him. She gives him her word that she will not and shares her observations about some of the other HGs. "David is too wild and needs to go." (Ah, Alison, who doesn't enjoy a good spoon-up-the-nose trick every now and then?) "And keep your distance from Dana because people are beginning to hate her." (Well, maybe not HER, just the karate chops.) "Everyone hates Erika and Jack, too." (Alison, tsk tsk tsk - you DO know what Jack does for a living, don't you?)
Nate tells her that he will stick with David, Jack, and Erika and that she should, too. He is worried that Dana is siding with Justin because she seems to have a crush on him (who doesn't?). Alison: "I am afraid Justin is going to make it to the end and win." And when he does, he'll be bombarded with black socks and flip flops from teeny boppers everywhere. Not to mention Bunny.
The conversation comes to a halt when Dana enters the room. She wants to spoon with Nate. (Just don't ever say you want to spoon with Dave. He translates it a bit differently.) Alison leaves and Dana crawls in.
Nate: "What should we do?"
Dana: "I think I should use the veto to save Amanda and put Erika in."
Nate: "Why? Do you honestly think Erika will come after you if she gets HOH?"
Dana: "Yes, I do."
Nate: "I think you've been letting Robert and Justin play with your head."
Dana: "No, they really want Jack out first." (Are these people NUTS? He works for the F.B.I.! Which stands for Fathom Being Impaled, if you get my drift.)
Dana says she wants to go to the end with Nate, Alison, and Jun. Nathan tells her to stick to the plan to evict the exes and stop letting Robert and Justin influence her. She says, "Yo, yo, I heah you!" or maybe it was "Okay, but I'm walking heah, I'm walking heah!" Anyway, she agrees with him while Bunny wonders if you put a clothespin on the nose of someone who already talks through it, will it have the opposite effect and make the person talk in a normal tone? Someone please try it.
Alison returns to the HOH room and joins in the conversation. She says she wants Justin and Michelle to go up next. Nate says, "No, not Michelle. I don't want her to go yet." Nate, the boys of America thank you.
Enter Robert. (I told you that bathrobe was powerful.) He says they need to put up Jack. Nate: "It's too risky to put up Jack. If it didn't work, he would come after me." (Got that right, bro.) Robert: "But it's a sure thing if you put up Jack against Jee." Nate: "I would be on Amanda's hit list if she goes free." (No worries there, Nate. She's too frail to throw chairs.)
Dana comments that she couldn't believe Jack felt badly about Scott. "I said, 'Dude, why do you feel bad? He's not your f'in son!" (Dana, Tinman called. He has your heart.)
At the end of the night, Jun breaks into a song for Bunny. I heard you, sweetheart, and true to my word, I give props to my peeps. So from this moment on, you have my permission to give pedicures to Nathan whenever you wish without repercussion from me, provided he has on a Speedo at the time and remains within camera range during the process.
Also, Alison, I heard you ask for a carrot. So I will give you one, but only if you promise to stop gazing longingly at yourself in every mirror you pass. Bunny frowns on vanity. With that said, here's your carrot: Your roots are beginning to show but I really do think you'll look great as a brunette.
Sunday morning, Jun is the first one up, followed by Jack. Jack and Jun don't sleep to noon because they need their water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and that could be a problem because I think Alabama has a shortage of dentists.
Erika and Dave do some strategizing with Jack. They think Jack should talk to Nate to warn him about Dana's relationship with the exes. Dave: "Maybe we should just talk to Dana as a group and warn her that if she doesn't go with the flow, she's out." Okay, but bring clothespins.
Jack tells Dave that he will have to provide the humor in the house now that Scott is gone (oh, no, more spoons). Dave says that Scott made him laugh and now he will have to amuse himself (oh, no, more spoons in front of the mirror).
Robert, Nathan, and Jee hit the loungers after breakfast. Robert says they all need to go to Vegas after they get out. "We're going to get mobbed out there, though." Yes, Robert is looking forward to a huge fan following. He might get it, too, if there's a hair stylist convention going on at the time. They would all fight to get their hands on Robert's cow licks.
He says he knows they will go on tour as the group from BB4. Uh, no, Rob, that's "American Idol" you're thinking of. You see, the way it works is, people who go on tour have to have TALENT. Walking around barechested, spilling the beans about your ex-girlfriend's boobs (both pre- and post-enhancement) will not be anything you can charge money for. However, if you let us bring tomatoes.....
Nathan says he might move to L.A. after the show. Robert says he has connections all over Hollywood and can help him out. He says Carmen Electra even works out at his gym. (Not so good unless Nate is planning to audition for "Dance Fever.") He also says he knows the Vice-President of Warner Brothers and he would have no trouble getting a job for Nate. Gee, Robert is so darned connected that I'm amazed he signed up for the BB house. He should be earning the big bucks making Baywatch syndication deals or drawing cartoons of Elmer Fudd.
Jack and Dave seek out Nathan to have a discussion about Dana and whether or not she can be trusted to vote with the original eight (now seven) members of the house. Jack tells Nate that he believes Dana hasn't changed alliances but is perhaps just a bit paranoid. Jack says that she can be put to the test by asking her to use the POV and put up Justin. Nate: "No way. I'd be a dead man walking." ("I'm walking heah, I'm walking heah!" Sorry, I guess it's only funny when Dana says it.)
Erika joins the conversation as Dave exits. She and Jack agree with Nathan that Justin and Robert need to go because Justin "is the brain" (huh?) and Robert is sly (double huh?). Enter Dana (she's everywhere, she's everywhere!) who assures them that she is only getting close to Justin to find out what is going on, and that she will tell them if the exes are trying to break up the Original Eight. (That is so uncreative. I like "Chilltown" Could you just use that until you come up with something better?)
The conversation ends and Erika says she wants to play with the turtles for awhile. Somebody better keep an eye on Erika. She's spending a lot of time with those fellas, and we all know that tortoise-shell accessories are in.
It's time for the POV meeting and they all head to the living room. In the end, Dana doesn't use it and the nominations stand with Amanda and Jee. Erika, Jack, Amanda, and David want to play Spades but can't remember the rules. "Let's ask Robert. He'll probably know." You can count on it. Robert knows everyTHING and everyBODY. Want a part in the next Batman movie? Ring Robert. Need David Hasselhoff's phone number? Rob's your guy. But don't ask him just yet. He's kind of busy organizing the BB4 tour.
The four card players sit at the patio for their game. Erika is taking the '60s theme of the house much too seriously. She's decked out in a pink hat straight from Twiggy's closet and sunglasses left on the bar at Matt Helm's pad. Yeah, baby, yeah.
Amanda is grilled by the other three about what she knows. She says she figured out that the Original Eight, including Scott, were allies. "I know I'm going home. Jee is such a great guy, so what can you do?" But you have better hair, Amanda. Well, sorta.
Erika tells Jack that she knows several of the HGs are going to go after her. Jack: "How do you know?" Erika: "Everyone knows!" Advice to Erika: Leave the turtles alone and start playing with the snakes.
Robert and Dave decide that Amanda is the best-looking of all the women. Robert says he likes the exotic type, not blondes. Exotic Amanda says she won't campaign for votes. "It wouldn't do any good any way." She does mention that Jee said he misses his girlfriend. He's also missing beaucoups of hair.
Speaking of which, when Jee found Michelle on the couch earlier, he began to massage her leg and commented that she had stubble. All the while, his shaved head looks like a study in Seurat.
Stubs suggests the HGs play a drinking game. They gather round and before you know it, Alison is three sheets to the wind. Justin says, "You're drunk. How about some hot lovin' for old time's sake?" But Ali is called to the Diary Room, and don't we just love it when BB calls in the drunk ones?
Alison retires to the HOH bed with Nathan and they kiss. (Somebody call Donny.)
Nate: "You are too cool for me, Ali-cat. We shouldn't do this. What will your boyfriend think?"
Ali: "I would never hurt anyone on purpose. How could I know I was going to meet you?"
Kiss kiss.
Ali: "We probably shouldn't talk for awhile."
Nate: "Is that what you want?"
Ali: "We don't want anyone to know."
Nate: "We're the first couple to hook up on BB4." (Uh, Jack, Bunny needs a favor.)
While Barbie and Ken smooch in the HOH room, G.I. Jee and Robert are still talking about Amanda. Robert: "I have three nights left to get her into bed. She's leaving anyway. Get on her and she's gone." Way to build your female fan base, Roberto.
In the meantime, Amanda is outside playing cards with Dave, who is trying to stuff the Ace of Clubs up his nose. Not really, but I bet he was when I wasn't looking. Amanda tells him that others in the house think they would make a cute couple and should get together. Well, if you do, be sure to register for silverware.
Nate tells Alison to go flirt with Justin "for the game." She heads to Justin's bed and crawls in. (Jack, I'm serious. Call me.)
The camera switches to the bathroom and we get to listen to Jack do his thing at the urinal. He exits and bypasses the sink. I'm sure he's not used to washing his hands - after all, he had to write code words on them back in the day and couldn't risk having them come in contact with soap. Espionage is dirty work.
At 4am, most are in bed except Dave and Amanda, who are still talking outside. Oh, yeah, and Dana. (Sheesh, she IS everywhere!)
Hoppy trails,
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