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Bunny
| Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 2:47 pm 
To quote the Rolling Stones, "It's 2am, don't these people ever wanna go to bed?" It appears that two of them do, but more about that later. Right now, the HGs are divvied up into small groups, all of them whispering while we try to eavesdrop. And, of course, heeeeeeeere's Dana! The girl is wearing out the soles of her shoes scuffling back and forth from room to room, hoping to catch snippets of strategy. Hey, you, get offa my cloud.
Amanda packs for her inevitable eviction and tells the others not to be sad. "I knew what I was getting into when I came here." Maybe so, maybe no - but again, more about that later.
Erika is upset that BB sprayed the grass and the turtles are forbidden to play outside for a few days. I'm astounded that the zookeeper in residence has let the well-being of the turtles slip through the cracks, but I guess he's been too busy with Dave.
Amanda gives some of the HGs stuffed bears and asks them to carry the gifts into the Diary Room when they are filmed so she can know they are thinking about her. I think it's appropriate that you're giving out stuffed bears, Amanda, because later on tonight you're going to BARE everything to Dave and then leave the house where you will have to BEAR the pressure of your father glaring down on you and it's going to be unBEARable when you read about your "BEAR-y" big mistake all over the internet, not to mention having to deal with the BARricade you're going to need around you if Scott is online when it happens. But at least if he starts throwing chairs again, it rhymes with bears and I can easily write a poem about it.
Amanda is trying to choose her eviction outfit with Dave's help. "Should I wear black or black?" Dave has a hard time deciding but eventually goes with the black. However, just in all things Big Brother, it has a twist. There's a zebra look to it with some plastic straps. Much like the plastic one would use to make a molded '60s-era chair. I can't help but see it as a shout-out to Scott.
Speaking of shout-outs, Bunny appreciates the shirt that Dana is wearing with the rabbit on it. And she notices that Dana did the best she could with the fluffy slippers. Maybe they originally came with ears but they were lost in all the shuffling back and forth that Dana is so fond of. Hare today, gone tomorrow. At any rate, I, for one, hope Dana goes far in the game just so I can see my likeness plastered in still shots.
There is wine available for consumption and David and Amanda opt to guzzle. They begin to get cozy with one another, so Nate offers them the key to the HOH room. In this case, the HOH stands for Heading Off to Hell, which might have been avoided if Nate had given them his Bible rather than the key, and turned to the passage that clearly states, "Thou shalt not partake in unlawful coupling on film unless thou art Ron Jeremy."
The two lie on the bed and Ranger Dave is soon at attention, reporting for duty. He has on his camouflage pants but you know what they say - you can't hide love. He's ready for his next stealth mission, this time undercover and with a partner.
He tells her she's awesome, she tells him he's cute, he tells her he wants to make love to her in a big orange clown wig, she says, "No, take it off." He shows her his Special Ops, she promises to keep their mission a secret, it's over in a flash, and then he barfs up last night's steak dinner. Yes, that's what I said. HE THROWS UP - all over himself, all over the bed, and all over the floor of the HOH room. At least if she had let him wear the clown wig, he could have claimed it was part of the act.
The two clean up the mess and then head for another bedroom. They spoon (Dave's favorite position), bonded in the stench of love and regurgitated steak.
Amanda says she hopes her friends meet her when she's evicted rather than her parents. "They're just going to lecture me about 'Why did you quit your job?'" Yes, they will. Right after they tell you how cute you looked drunk - and right before they ask you, "Was it good for you?"
Apparently, this was also a top secret mission, as David doesn't share what happened with the other HGs. Except the part where he threw up. And he hopes they don't show it on TV. No, Dave, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. They have limited time on the program, so if they have to choose between Ranger Rick Earns His Vomit Badge and The Ranger Stuffs BooBoo Into A Nice-Lookin' Pic-a-Nic Basket, my money's on the latter.
The HGs are called out to the backyard to rehearse for the HOH competition, which consists of answering questions about the other players. Robert has the highest score and thinks he's jinxed now and won't be able to win the real thing tonight. Actually, Robert you were jinxed the minute gold chains and leisure suits went out of style.
After the trial competition, the HGs take their turns in the bathroom to get ready for the Live Show, with its producers so on the ball that footage from the morning's tete-a-tete has already been edited and is ready to air. After it's shown, Amanda is evicted and BB plays the goodbye messages left for her by the other HGs. The one from Dave was very sweet but the rap he had written for his new love had to be edited out. I was able to get a copy, however.
Yo, yo, we had a little wine
The sex was really fine
So don't you go a-cryin' when they all call you a swine
No hatin' from those strangers
Will cause you any danger
Especially when you've survived the vomit from a Ranger
Peace out
The remaining HGs compete for HOH at the end of the show and Jee is the winner, which Bunny predicted the minute she saw you had to add. Dana immediately attaches her tentacles to the side of Jee's head, while Alison and Michelle flank his sidekick, Robert. Poor Nate is left outside, alone with Jack, to mourn the turn of events. It appears that X now marks the spot, as the power shifts from the Original Eight to the Exes.
Everyone is wondering who Jee will nominate - will he put up former mate Jun? Or will he go after the Golden Boy in retaliation? Some think he will nominate Erika as a favor to Robert, or Dana because she disrupts the harmony of the house. I think they're all off base. It's obvious to me that he'll go after Dave - not as a means of strategy, but to punish him for stinking up the HOH room just before he took occupancy. Let's hope his Welcome Basket contains Lysol and a new set of sheets.
Hoppy trails,
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