| Author |
Message |
Bunny
| Friday, July 18, 2003 - 2:36 pm 
The HGs take to their corners after the Live Show on Wednesday, trying to figure out who Jee will nominate. Jee is considering nominating Jack, but Dana tells him that Dave should go before Jack. "Wouldn't you rather have Jack voting in the end rather than Dave? Dave fits into our group better and it would be hard to get rid of him later on." Besides that, those Army-issued butt-ugly brown shirts don't photograph well on TV.
Jee says he's thinking about nominating Erika. "She has never been nice to me. It will be weird if she tries to talk to me now because she has never tried before." Dana leaves the room and Robert says, "Dana would probably be the one to leave if you put her up," Justin comments that Nathan should be left alone this round, which is good news for Bunny and probably Marcellas.
You know, speaking of Justin, I don't know why Alison rags on his cauliflower ear. I never even noticed it. Maybe if it had been lettuce.....but seriously, it doesn't detract from that beautiful smile. Only his hair could do that. It looks like fringe from a chenille bedspread.
While we're on the subject, Bunny made a mistake thinking it was Scott who had the map of America tattooed on his arm - it was Justin. There appears to be a star right in the middle of Kansas, too, which is strange since Justin is from Pittsburgh. Maybe it's a reference to the "Wizard of Oz" and he has a thing for the Scarecrow, also a fan of straggly hair. Or maybe he just considers himself a tornado in bed.
But on to Dave, who decides to pull down his pants and moon the BB crew behind the glass. Someone needs to remind him that this isn't the first time they have seen his a--.
The HGs call it a night after going in and out of the HOH room for hours. Jee says he wants privacy. Okay, Jee, you got it. Nobody look.
BB sounds the wakeup call at 9am Thursday morning and the HGs are sent outside for a Food Challenge. They divide themselves into two teams, Red and Blue. The Blue team consists of Dana, Michelle, Nathan, Robert, and Dave. On the Red will be the triple J's, Erika, and Alison. Jee is emcee, of course. During this event, the HGs will each eat a bite of a casserole and then try to guess two of its ingredients. Dana is worried that Dave will upchuck again. (Not unless this challenge involves foreplay.)
The Red Team wins and will get food for the next few days. The Blue Team will get unlimited peanut butter and jelly, which qualifies as food, of course, but after a couple of days will only serve as a reminder to those who are eating it why it was a bad idea to go on this game show. It also brings back BB3 memories of hooters coated in the stuff, which, as I recall, caused stock in Skippy to soar.
Nate and Dave are devastated by the loss. They can't work out without protein. Someone hide the turtles.
Jee tells Nate that he thinks he'll nominate Michelle. Yeah, better get that strong player outta there. WHAT are you THINKING? The girl doesn't even know she's ON a game show. How could she? She can't even figure out that those capri pants she keeps putting on make her rear end look the size of Minnesota. Or at least bigger than Dave's, which is the only one I've seen to compare it to.
Jee explains that putting up Michelle will guarantee that Erika will be evicted. Jee believes if he tells everyone not to vote out Michelle, they won't. That's right, Jee. And Amanda believed Dave would call her in the morning.
Jee goes to Michelle to let her know that he is going to nominate her, but that she will be safe. Michelle starts to cry. Jee says he is sorry but he knows that as sweet as she is, no one will vote her out. Michelle says, "Oh, that's not why I'm crying. It's because I just realized that these capri pants make my rear end look like the size of Rhode Island." "No, Minnesota," says Jee.
Jee, Robert, and Justin have formed an alliance and now refer to the others as the Dark Side. My guess is that they chose this appellation because they're all fans of John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band - who isn't - but at any rate, it's better than the Original Eight. Of course, I think there was a more obvious choice - the Dave Ass-views Band. After all, he's the one providing all the internet entertainment and deserves leader status of the group.
Robert approaches Dave to make a deal on Jee's behalf. Dave will be immune from nomination this week if he promises not to use the Veto if he wins it and if he guarantees that he won't nominate any of the Three Stooges for eviction if he's the next HOH.
Justin pays Jack a visit to lay out the same plan. "Jee thinks it will be in your best interest not to use the veto." Now I know where Justin got that haircut. It's identical to Marlon Brando's.
Jee confers with Robert and they decide that if Erika wins the Veto and takes herself off the block, Dana will have to go up in her place. Robert says he just doesn't want Erika around for the final vote. This, of course, means that Robert thinks he's going to win. The viewers must assure this will never happen and are left no choice but to fly a banner plane over the house: CRMN ELCTRA NEEDS KDNY - U R PRFCT MATCH.
Dave says that he will not agree to hold back on using the Veto if he wins it. He tells Nate that he will vote for Erika to stay in the house and vote against Michelle if that's who Jee puts up against her. We are not surprised since it's become evident that Dave makes it his policy to always vote against women he's hooked up with and/or puked on.
Justin and Robert join Jee in the HOH room. Jee says that they made a mistake revealing their alliance to the others, and that if Erika wins the votes and stays in the house, "we'll be in deep caca." Bunny's impressed. It takes a real man to use the word "caca" and make it work.
In the meantime, Michelle is still whimpering, "It's not FAIRRRR!" That may be true, Mish, but how fair was it when you got picked for this show simply because you had a burger or two with Mr. Peepers?
The players who are allowed to eat have lunch and the others eat their pb&j. Except for Jun, who eats both.
Erika finds Jee to tell him that it's okay if she is nominated. "I won't go gunning for you if you do. I think you're a great person." Jee tells her, "It's so hard. I don't know what to do." Sure you do, Jee. Put up Jun before she eats you all out of house and home. Erika won't eat mammals so that will leave more meat for you and Dave. Then, Dave will be ready for his next Steak-n-Sex Barf-a-thon.
Dave and Nate get together to go over the deals that have been made. Alison promised to vote for Erika's eviction in exchange for not being nominated. Jack made a deal not to veto Erika and vowed that he wouldn't nominate Justin, Robert, or Jee if either of them gets HOH. Dave eventually gave in and made the same deal. The two of them agree that they will vote to evict Michelle if she's nominated against Erika because Erika has always been a part of their original alliance. She's also the only one who will clean up turtle poop.
The conversation switches to religion. Dave says he gets comfort from having faith. Nate says his is helping him get through the trials of living in the BB house and tries to find a passage about peanut butter.
Dave: "What are you? Catholic?"
Nate: "No, Pentecostal."
Bunny pauses the summary for a minute to go change religions.
It's time for the nominations and Jee follows through on putting up Erika and Michelle. He again assures Michelle that she is not going to be evicted. Michelle replies, "I don't like it that you used me." (Backbone alert!) Jee: "I have done everything I can to keep you in the house. I want you to stay. You can COUNT on me." (I swear he said that.)
The winning Food Challenge team goes to the kitchen for tacos while the losers congregrate miserably outside. Nate is beside himself and can't talk about anything but food. Bunny assures him that she knows what it's like to suffer. Depression sets in for her every time he puts on a shirt.
After dinner, BB gives the HGs t-shirts and a tie-dye kit, so they gather in the backyard to express their creativity. They have instructions to dye the tees in true '60s style, with colored streaks streaming across the front. But Bunny gives them permission to decorate the backs with something that will reflect their hobbies and interests. Of course, for Jack, this is a no-brainer. He quickly paints a portrait of Elliott Ness on the back of his shirt. It isn't difficult for Robert either, who uses a black marker to write "Being Sleazy is Never Cheesy." This prompts Dave to do something along the same line, but he goes with "Being Sleazy Made Me Queasy" - but then thinks better of it and decides to do a matchy-matchy thing with Jun in a Utensil theme (he the spoon, she the fork).
Erika paints a turtle, Alison a crown, and Justin the Emerald City. Dana doesn't paint because she is running from person to person to find out what THEY are painting and wants to advise them to paint something else. Jee decides to display a quote from Nate's Bible: "Go forth and multiply!" and Michelle uses her past experiences to inspire her inscription: "Girls Just Wanna Have Funnels." Of course, Nate covers the back of his shirt with a lovely painting of ME and words expressed from his heart: "Give the others the money. I only want Bunny." Ahhh, Nate, that's so sweet! But don't worry. You weren't going to win anyway.
Hoppy trails,
|
|
|
|
