| Author |
Message |
Bunny
| Thursday, August 14, 2003 - 6:56 am 
Alison wakes up Tuesday morning with Nate on her mind. (Bunny knows the feeling.) She goes to Justin to ask him if the plan is still to evict Nathan. Justin tells her that he doesn't want to, but the Boyz in his Hood are adamant about Nathan getting the boot. Alison assures him that Nate will have Justin's back if he stays, but Justin again says, "Sorry, no can do."
Ali: "Is this because I told the guys that you never take showers?"
Justin: "Nope."
Ali: "Is it because I told them about how you walked around naked in only your socks and then crawled in bed with your roommate?"
Justin: "Nope."
Ali: "Then it has to be because I told them you glued your picture over the faces of the body-builders in that calendar."
Justin: "Well, that, and the fact that the whole time we were together, you never let me play with your pom poms. Not even once."
Jun and Nate are lying on the couch when Jun asks him if he falls asleep right after sex. Nate replies that he really doesn't know. Bunny slips her number under the door and volunteers to give Nate a full report.
The HGs are all up and dressed to enter the Diary Room for today's Eviction Vote. There seems to be a matchy-matchy theme for the older contestants, which works for one, but not for another. Jack is debonair in his long pants and robin's-egg-blue shirt, topped off with just the right accent piece: a matching blue coffee cup. This works. Erika is garbed from head to toe in various shades of Easter pink, the look completed with her signature accessory: the pale pink mod "going-to-a-go-go" hat, which, of course, doesn't work. Not any time, any place, any how - except maybe (just maybe) at a reunion of the cast of "Hullabaloo."
Turns out I'm not too far off-track with this line of thinking, because Robert informs his mates that Erika used to be "a Solid Gold dancer with John Cornelius." First of all, it's Don Cornelius - and, second of all, the show was called "Soul Train." Yes, there are "Solid Gold" dancers - and maybe she was one of them - but that show didn't have the cool train OR Don a.k.a. John Cornelius and his most excellent 'fro. The dancers on "Soul Train" were also more booty-licious, if you know what I'm sayin', so yeah, Erika probably danced on "Solid Gold."
And here we thought Dana was everywhere. Erika won $20,000 on a game show, danced in a Patrick Swayze movie, made a commercial with Brad Pitt, and shook her rump to the funk on a TV dance party. All while giving Pilates instruction, tending bar, and shopping for clothing in limited hues. One also can't forget the many dogs she provides shelter for, and, contrary to what you might be thinking, I don't mean Robert - although she may have correlated the two when he began sniffing around.
Nate asks Jun about her parents. She says, "My mom's the life of the party, very entertaining." Nate: "What about your dad?" Jun: "Oh, I'm my dad's princess." Word to Dad: Princess needs a tummy tuck.
The HGs are called into the Diary Room one at a time and told that their votes will be done live. BB decided to do it THIS week because Nate can't vote. They can't afford to fly in a hillbilly slang interpreter. You know how it is - budget cuts are hell.
Ali and Erika are in the pool. Erika's hat must be waterproof because it's still atop her head. I know she calls it her Lucky Hat, but she's out of luck when it comes to Bunny laying off her lack of fashion sense. I know she has the kind of body that looks good in anything, but I draw the line at vinyl and velour. Call me crazy.
Robert wants a meeting in the HOH with Justin and Jee. "As soon as we find out what the HOH is, we'll make our decision. If it's physical, we're keeping Nate. If it's not, he's out." The Shifty Shirtless call Nate in to let him know their decision. "If we keep you, we're going to dump Jun," Justin says. "We'll keep it four guys all the way to the end." Bunny reminds them that a life without manicures isn't a life worth living.
Robert tells Alison the plan, adding, "In the end, it will be you along with Jee, Justin, and me." Ali: "I think you should keep Nate even if the HOH challenge is mental." I would agree with you, Ali, on one condition - that the competition doesn't involve the correct use of nouns, adjectives, or verb tenses. It takes more than "brawns" for that.
Jee tells Robert that he still thinks Nate should be the one to go. "He could turn on us if he gets HOH." Robert: "It will be the four of us guys. No Ali. No Jun. Nate doesn't talk s--- like those
b-tches." (That Robert sure has a soft spot for the ladies, doesn't he?) Nate joins them in the HOH room to tell them that Erika and Jack are still hoping that Jee will come over to their side. Robert: "I bet Jun is behind it. She's the mastermind. When she says it sucks that it looks like she's left out, I'll say, 'F--- you, you've never been part of it.'" (No more sweet talk, Robert. Seriously.)
Robert: "It will be bad if Erika gets HOH. She will put up two of us." (Bunny hopes the HOH is an endurance test to see who can stand up the longest in toe shoes.)
Jun regales Ali with the details of Dana's relationship with Justin.
Jun: "They messed around but did not do it. He went into her house and everything."
Ali: "I'm sure she touched his car."
Jun: "But the car did not go into the garage."
What Bunny wants to know is whether the car was really a big mack truck or a cute little Volkswagen.
Justin lets Erika and Jack in on his plan to keep Nate if the HOH is physical.
Justin: "I like you and respect you, and really don't want to see you go, but if the HOH is physical, I think Nate has a chance of winning it for my group."
Jack: "I enjoy the game with you as an opponent. It would be nice to stay and play the game out like it should be."
Justin reports to the others that he is now leaning toward keeping Jack in the game because he respects the honest way he's playing. I hear ya on that, Justin. I respect him for it, too, among a few other things - like taking the time every morning to put on a shirt and even going so far as to wash it once in awhile - two things you will never know the joy of.
The HGs call it a night and put off the final eviction decision until tomorrow. Either way, Bunny will be heartbroken. It's like that movie "Bandits." I'm the comely Cate Blanchett (yeah, it's a stretch), in love with two men at the same time: a balding yet suave Bruce Willis and the whining but devoted country boy Billy Bob Thornton. Eventually, I will lose both of them, but for now, we're all on a joy ride and I'm in the driver's seat, not knowing which one to place in my lap.
Torn between two houseguests
Feeling like a fool
Knowing that to love them both
Is breaking Bunny's rules
One is strong and handsome
The other is the same
How about you BOTH walk out
I'm funner than this game.
Hoppy trails,
|
|
|
|
