| Author |
Message |
Barbapapa
| Saturday, August 23, 2003 - 7:57 pm 
Barbapapa's Live Feed Summary For Wednesday, August 20 - Better Late Than Never
My apologies to all, Bunny especially, for this summary being so late in posting. I took the assignment on Thursday, thinking I’d do it Friday. So, Thursday night, I stayed up until 2 AM reading all the Life Feeds posts for Wednesday. Props to the posters – if I had to watch these boring people all day and report it, I’d go mad.
Anywho, early Friday morning, I decided to review Wednesday’s live show for some final fashion notes. All the houseguests put in effort this week. The men looked dapper and coordinated in the classics – black, gray, and various shades of blue. Jun thought a white mini-skirt was a good idea, but whatever. After her fishnet whatever-it-is, nothing that girl wears shocks me anymore. Alison was sporting a look I can only describe as trailer park chic. But it was Erika that gave me real trouble. Pink and purple horizontal stripes? During her private interview with Julie, the exposure to the dress became so powerful, I was dizzy and slid off the couch in a cold sweat. The next thing I knew, I was riding a horse through a field. Jason from BB3 was there on my left, riding a stallion of his own, and so was Eric. To my right, Hardy from BB2, and Nathan. It was glorious. Then the four boys took off into the air, my horse disappeared, and I found myself walking down a strange cobble-stone alley. There was a pub on the corner, so naturally I went in. Amy was there, and we spent the afternoon on the back terrace, sipping margaritas, and gossiping like kittens. As the sun was setting over the hills, Danielle ran up to us in a frenzy, and screamed,
“Run! The Devil approaches! Run for your lives! Grab the meat, and work on your abs!”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Roddy at the bar, trying to pick up Jan from Survivor Thailand. No one needs to see that, so I kissed Amy good-bye, and just started running. I passed out from exhaustion at some point (about three blocks), and when I woke up, I was on my living room floor, and it was Saturday. Oh, the shame. All caused by that damn pink and purple dress. I like Erika, but something must be done.
(OK, I’m lying. I went to the beach on Friday to tan and check out guys. It’s the last days of summer – sorry about that).
So, back to Wednesday in the house. To make a long day short, not much happened (hence the fleshing out using the above made-up tardy story). There were a few points of interest that should be noted, though. After all, if nothing else, these people are here for our amusement, aren’t they?
Midnight hit, and the houseguests, starved from a day on PB&J decided to celebrate the end of Tuesday with a BBQ. Jack prepared and cooked burgers, and the boys gathered around, praising him on the thickness of his beef. Papa Jack, being the sensitive guy he is, also grilled tuna for Miss Erika, the beefless-wonder. Due to the thickness of the meat, the cooking process dragged on forever. Miss Erika became so faint at one point she had to lie on the floor. (Now she knows how I felt after seeing her dress).
The next day, the houseguests are woken up much to their chagrin at 9:30, and sent outside. These people are not morning people, which I totally understand, but Alison was particularly grumpy (Jun’s word, not mine), which was fun. Once in the yard, they see that the alley’s for the HoH competition have been set up, and are – shock of all horrors – DIFFERENT from what they had been practicing on. There were now bumps on the alleys.
Jun: “I’m not strong enough for two bumps!”
Barbapapa: “True – you don’t need any more bumps to weight you down.”
The houseguests are finally allowed back inside for an hour, so they decide to have breakfast. Jun begins on the eggs, and Alison stands around whining about not having bagels, so Jun lets her cook the bacon to shut her up. Wishful thinking, of course, as Alison moves on to trash Miss Erika, saying she is the “snobbiest” houseguest ever because she doesn’t eat real bacon. Yeah – that spells pedigree, alright. Whatever, Alison. The girl needs a spanking, and not the good kind.
In the strategy department, both teams of The Stooges Minus One (SMO), and The Parents were busy sorting out the lay on the land, with the Floaters doing what they do best – float. I must say I am loving this new term “Floaters” being used for Jun and Alison. It’s one of the most fitting nicknames in the history of BB, is it not? Without resorting to poop jokes, I’ll leave it at that.
The SMO has decided, or more, Robert decided for them, that Miss Erika has to go next. She’s the stronger player. Second in line is Alison – they’re sick of her, and quite frankly, so am I. I’ve been sick of her since Day One. Cesaer Justinus agrees with this plan, deciding Papa Jack will be third. He’s smart, but can’t win a competition to save his comb-over. They then move one to trashing the girls, saying they hate it when they using “whiny baby voices” – this is the only point I’ve agreed with these guys on, especially on anything Robert has said about women. After puberty, the baby voice thing has got to go.
Papa Jack chats with Jun between her appointments at Nails ‘N Snacks ‘N Things, telling her he heard that the SMO are going to put up Jack and Erika, but then want someone to use the veto, so they can put up Alison. Jun says she’ll try to confirm. She tells Jack that Alison only trusts her, and Jack says she’s transparent. Jack and Erika decide that Jee is getting cocky, so now their eviction wish-list is Robert, then Jee, then Ali.
Over to the Floater’s Bowl, Alison asks Jun if they should throw the HoH competition, or go for. Jun says go for it. Alison tells her the SMO told her that Jun was going to throw it. Jun says she heard the same about Alison. They trash the boys, especially Robert. Alison says even she has standards, and wouldn’t touch Robert. (We’ll see – it ain’t over yet, and never say never, Sugarplum). Jun tell Alison not to trust the boys – they only want to use them for votes. Really, Alison dear, you should know that by you age. Boys are pigs. The girls are set, and they continue with their floating.
Papa Jack and Miss Erika have a talk in their room sometime around General Nap Hour, which seems to go on forever in that house. They discuss sick dogs and sick parents. Reminisce about Jack’s father dying, and how he nursed him through the last few months. Jack also talks about his own memory loss. (Don’t worry, buddy – I’m sure it’s just the effect of being forced into closed quarters with Alison for so long. You’ll bounce back). Erika is homesick talking about her mother and grandmother, who is still kicking and smoking in her eighties. (She sounds like a good time).
In other gossip, Erika and Jack discuss Alison, and how she said she only found true happiness once she was with Cesear Justinus, and then he ditched her. Poor, insecure Alison – what will become of her? They decide Dana had the right idea wanting to get rid of her long ago.
The most shocking news of the day, save finding out there would be a new twist, was that Jun announced she had a stomach ache. From eating too much. Honest to God. It took awhile, but she’s finally full. For now.
The rest of the day was more napping, cleaning, and getting gussied up for the live show. As I said, everyone put some effort into their fashion choices this week. Except Alison. The show went off as per usual, with a lovely tribute to the Stooges, reminiscent of “Y Tu Mama Tambien”, a profile of Robert’s beautiful ex-wife (who resembles Erika somewhat), and his daughter, as well as a peek into the Jury House. Them cats have it good. It was nice to see Dana not pissed off, even when the only company she got after a week was her enemy, Nathan. And didn’t Nathan look fine? Dana even had to remark how good he looks on TV. I was pleased for Bunny that the boy is still getting airtime. Dana commented that she was “two cabana boys short of Paradise.” Well, enter Cabana Boy Number One. Cesaer Cabanan Boy Number Two will be there in a few days. Cesear Justinus is evicted 3-1. Here’s to a valiant effort, young man. Thanks for the eye candy. Now go do your laundry, for God’s sake.
Jee wins HoH after Papa Jack tanks, yet again. The houseguests are freaked out by Julie’s “Expect the Unexpected” announcement, and begin to speculate. Blah, blah, blah. Robert and Alison are trilled, and Jack, Erika, and Jun pray Alison hangs herself. The houseguests enjoy Cuban food, chosen by Robert for dinner, and then Jee enters the HoH room to find lots of goodies from home. Alison, of course, has to drama-queen out at this point, and cry about anything and everything from Donnie to nominations. Jun comments that Alison has put the women’s movement back 40 years. The girl is all over the map, people. The women discuss Jack always tanking in competitions, and wonder if he’s in cahoots with Jee. Every scenario under the sun is thrown around, yet again. There’s working out, more yapping, the announcement that they lose the Desert Room the next day, and that’s about all folks.
Again sorry to be late, but as you can see, boys on the beach were far more interesting than this group on Wednesday.
Over and out,
Barbapapa
|
|
|
|
