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Bunny
| Saturday, August 30, 2003 - 11:07 am 
The HGs wake up early Thursday morning for a Food Challenge and Robert is chosen to read the instructions in HOH Jun's absence. Good thing it takes only one hand to hold the paper.
He tells the HGs that they are to enter a room filled with plastic balls, many of which have the name of a food written on them. They have a limited time period to find these balls and put them in alphabetical order in a long, clear tube.
Ali: "If you find octopus, don't put it in."
Bunny: "Ditto rabbit."
The winner of the next POV will be the HG who can guess where Jun has gone. Three clues will be given and when someone figures out the answer, he/she is to ring a bell that is set up in the backyard. The first clue is a huge apple with a silver ball above it. Biggggg apple with a ball that looks just like the one that drops over Times Square every New Year's Eve. It's a given that everyone will figure out that the first clue is "New York."
Ali: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Washington is the Apple State. Maybe Jun is in D.C."
Okay, scratch the given. And while you're at it, send a memo to the person who packs Ali's next HOH basket: A map of the U.S. would be nice. I know it's a common mistake to think that Washington D.C. is IN the state of Washington, but only if you're still on Vermont and Virginia in your geography book.
The second clue is a video tape. Robert says he knows the answer is "Apple Tape" and he's ready to ring the bell. Alison says privately to Erika, "Aren't the MTV Awards in New York?" which is a great guess but doesn't earn her a reprieve from placing her in the You're the People Who Keep Bringing Down the National Geography Scores category. We all know that anyone who loves Britney Spears as much as Ali does would probably have this particular event on her Just-Gotta-Do list and would know exactly where it was.
The third clue is an astronaut. Robert thinks he has figured out the answer and rings the bell, then goes to the Diary Room to report. Jee rings it a bit later and makes his trek to the Diary Room to record his guess. Ali is next, but before reporting in, she shares with Erika that the astronaut is the symbol for MTV's award. Erika goes last, making the same guess as Ali but elaborating on the details.
Later, the HGs go to the living room to have the answer revealed to them on the plasma screen. A clip of Jun being interviewed at the MTV Music Awards is shown to them, and they all squeal with disbelief that she is actually there. Following the clip, they are allowed to watch the opening act featuring Madonna, Missy Elliott, Christina Aguilera, and one miss Britney Spears - and Alison has to be carried out on a stretcher. Not just because she saw her idol, but also because she is the winner of this week's HOH. But more because she just saw her idol. She is visibly upset that Jun is there and she isn't and begins to weep. Erika tries to calm her down (oops, I slapped her again) and Alison later worries that her jealousy will turn Jun against her. (No worries, mate. Jun is WAY more into Eminem.)
Jee didn't win the HOH because he guessed the Space Needle in Washington . Okay, I get the apple. And the astronaut, too. But what does a video tape have to do with the Space Needle? Are they made up there or something? Maybe he thought the footage on the tape had something to do with Seattle, but I'm pretty sure it was just another sex orgy from Rob Lowe's vault.
Robert's guess was Disneyland. The astronaut made him think Jun might be riding Space Mountain. The apple? "There are candy apples all over the park," says The Thinking Man. Yes, that is true, Rob. And don't forget that poison apple the witch gave Snow White. I bet he thought the video tape was a Disney montage, and it may have been - again featuring Rob Lowe, but this time with Jessica Rabbit, Pluto, and a few of the finer dwarves.
After the hoopla dies down, it's back to the game. Robert asks Erika if Jee is going next. She tells him that Jee will go this week, and he will go the next. He shares the info with Jee.
Rob: "I wish there was something we could do."
Jee: "There's nothing. I'm okay with it. Just do it for yourself now. You're still in the game. I think there's a good chance that Jun and Ali will go after Erika instead of you. They can't win against Erika in the end."
Rob: "Would you do this again?"
Jee: "No, never. I couldn't go through this suffering again."
Rob: "You know, Jee, we weren't even supposed to BE here!"
Bunny: "And now you WON'T be!"
Jee: "What's up wichoo, Bunny? I know we didn't go through the proper procedure to get on the show. And I know we're only here because we happened to date some bangin' chicks. I also know that we're both a tad on the chauvinistic side, have egos the size of Washington (State, not D.C.), and we both could use a good makeover, but that doesn't mean we don't have a right to be in this game."
Bunny: "Yes, it does."
Rob and Erika are in the living room.
Rob: "If I get HOH next, I'm going to nominate Jun."
Erika: "Yeah, she's a strong player."
Rob: "You're the last one I'd put up. I'd rather see you win than the other girls."
Erika: "I feel bad for Jee. But that's how it is in this game. One week you're on top of the world (or King of it) and the next week you're out."
Rob: "Do you think when we go to a supermarket in L.A., people will know who we are?"
Erika: "Of course they will."
(Salvage the pink hat from the flames and shop for produce in your polka dot bikini and Bunny guarantees that someone will recognize you, Erika. But maybe not in a good way.)
Robert's getting a massage from Ali.
Rob: "Jun could win this game."
Ali: "She's not playing well. If I get HOH next, I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't go anywhere. Jun has Jack's vote, Dana's, and probably Jee's. I would never vote for her no matter who she is against."
Jun, I'm sorry, but Ali just can't forgive the fact that you got to see Britney kiss Madonna and she didn't. Try not to take it personally. By the way, did you see me up there on stage with 50 Cent? I'm sure it was easy to miss me among all the P-Funk rejects. And whose idea was it to have Beyonce attacked by faceless aliens in skintight black leotards? I want to give him credit for my newfound interest in space travel, especially after seeing the packages offered.
Two words for Ben Stiller: Grecian Formula. And speaking of hair - Christina, the right color for you is still out there. Please keep looking. Jessica Simpson, brassieres were made for a reason. Buy one. Duran Duran, I can't let you come back. Let it lie and remember the good times when you were cute. And Metallica, please be over. Please.
Hoppy Trails,
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