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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Thursday, July 08, 2004 - 1:09 pm 
On the second day of live feeds (fifth in the house), Mike the Old Guy and Will the Gay Guy are the first ones up and about. Jennifer and Karen soon join them. BB announces an early lockdown. The booming voice wakes up Drew, followed by Marvin, who proceeds to the kitchen to shave. I repeat: the KITCHEN to SHAVE. You know, it's people like you, Marvin, who make me want the hair net rule brought back to restaurants.
Scott enters the mix, still wearing his grandmother's support hose on his head. Does this guy SLEEP in that thing? What for? To keep his eyebrows from falling off his face?
Mike and Marvin begin a morning workout in the backyard while Cowboy Michael does his laundry. Karen and Will discuss their places in the game.
Will: The two of us have done the most to connect with people in the house.
Karen: The others see us as flawed and not a threat.
Will: Bunny, how do you see us?
Bunny: Well, Willy, I see you as cute as a button and want so badly to diss Oscar fashion with you next March. And, Karen, this new Sweet Girl image doesn't go hand-in-hand with "stink pickle." I'm no longer feeling the raunch.
Jennifer shares that she has asked BB for hair dye when and if she becomes HOH. Right now her hair is purple, she says, but as the days go by, it will change to the color blue; after a bit longer, a blonde streak will show up. Coning soon to Broadway: Jen's Amazing Technicolor Dreadlocks.
Mike makes the statement that he doesn't want to do anything "gay" on TV, and this offends Will. Scott and Michael used to say "that's so gay" but are trying to watch it. Bunny says it's an adjective to be proud of - a word that denotes happy frolicking - and that Will should just embrace the word any old way it's used. To thine own gay self, be true.
A few of the HGs go in to the HOH to wake up Jase. Holly is in there with him, which leads us all to believe that there is Dave/Amanda potential there if BB will just break out the alcohol and the clown wigs.
Will lets it slip that the HGs are getting paid a nice chunk of change for each week they are in the house. I would like to announce at this time that Bunny will not be available to write tales for this site next year; she'll be heading inside the compound instead. Inside equals a mega-stash of carrots; outside equals wasting away in front of her computer, waiting for her electric bill to be paid by an elusive Sugar Daddy.
Jase, Michael, Jennifer, and Scott are discussing nominations in the HOH. The guys want to nominate Mike. Jennifer says she will vote with the house. Wondering who to put against Mike, they decide that Diane would be a viable candidate since she's the only one in the house who likes him. Or Drew, because no one would vote against Drew.
Normally, Bunny wouldn't either. He's delicious to say the least. However, he's not contributing. He just lies around all day. Drew, get up. Get out of the bed, or off the hammock, or out of the bathtub. Rise, brother. Vertical is where it's at.
Jennifer is pretty much covered in tattoos, and she tells those gathered in the HOH room that she does them herself. Yeah, that's what I said: HERSELF THE ELF. She sees it as a form of expression. There's certainly an art to self-mutilation. The only problem is, there are no do-overs on a human canvas. What you carve is what you get.
Jennifer requests that she not be put up for eviction. She wants to stick around to spend some more time with her brother. He's going to teach her how to box. She's going to teach him how to draw pictures on his belly with a stick pin and some indigo hair dye.
Scott tells her, "WE don't want to do anything that will burn bridges as HOH." Scott talks as if he and Jase are one person, and in a way, I guess they are: Siamese twins connected at the head buff.
Jase calls everyone in the living room to announce that nominations will take place today. He shows them the voting box and explains how the process works. Then he repeats it all again for Holly. Not really but he probably needs to.
After the meeting, Scott shares that he has had Botox injections. He got them, he says, because he has trouble with his eyes. In Normal World, we get glasses.
Best Line of the Day goes to Marvin the mortician.
Holly: I'm sure working around dead people all day, they don't talk to you.
Marvin: Some do.
Holly: How does this show work?
Marvin: I think Jase will nominate some people. We'll know in a couple of hours.
Holly: I don't get what happens when.
Marvin: I think Veto happens tomorrow, and the person who uses the Veto can be put right on the chopping block.
Do you people not even WATCH this show?????
Scott doesn't carry a wallet. He doesn't like to have a bulge in his pants. I'll leave that with you for a minute.
The four Horsemen are discussing nominations in the HOH room. Jase says he knows he should put up Diane along with Mike, but doesn't want to. One says, "The girls are lying low; that's how they win these things." Another: "Next week we'll nominate Marvin and Lori. Lori needs to go home. She doesn't do anything but sit around."
Jase: I want a woman around at the end.
Scott: Well, even if a woman survives, she won't be a threat.
Enter Karen, one of them wimmin varmints, and the conversation stops.
Jase is called to the Diary Room to begin the nomination process. Scott yells, "Tell them about my 10-incher." I'll leave that with you for a minute.
Holly wants BB to know that they're out of Nutrasweet sweet sweet and they need some more jelly belly welly. Someone please relax the rubber band in Holly's hair.
Karen and Lori lie down on the twin beds and whisper about who the nominees might be.
Karen: If it's Diane, she'll get really angry. She'll take it personally. Mike is a nice guy, but he needs to tone it down. One minute you think he's alright, then he expresses an opinion and goes over the top.
Lori: He's not trying hard enough to stay in the house.
Karen: He keeps to himself, and that is working against him.
Not to mention the muscle shirts.
Will and Michael are discussing Scott's Playgirl adventure.
Will: I wouldn't do it.
Michael: May nay-ther.
Aw, shucks. I was so hoping for a BB5 pictorial, with Will sitting on Mike's lap and Michael posing in nothing but boots with his ten-gallon hanging on his hat rack.
Let's talk today's fashion. Jase gets the award for HG Who Most Resembles the Indian Chief on His T-Shirt. This image alone is worth the cost of the internet feed. His hair is sticking straight up in the do-rag, much like the Chief's feather headdress that adorns his shirt. And where, oh, where, do you find a belt buckle like that? Black Bart's Cheesy Chapwear?
Drew's in the hammock (sheesh!) with Holly. Drew, man has evolved into an erect being. We also developed feet in the process. And shoes right after that, so it wouldn't hurt so much when we used the new feet.
Looks like Drew will have to actually move, since Jase has called the HGs in for the nomination ceremony. He chooses Mike and Jennifer to go up for eviction - Mike, because he knows the game better than anyone else after having watched every season, and Jennifer because she has purple hair. That's not what he says, but we know it's what he meant.
Of course, after the nominations are announced, everyone avoids Mike. It's the old-fashioned notion of Cootie Contact. If you get the nominee's cooties, you might be the next to go.
This shouldn't be a problem, however, with as much time as this crew spends in the bathtub. Yeah, there seems to be this fascination with cramming themselves together in the tiny tub, filled with water. They're clothed and there's no soap, so no one's getting clean. But maybe, just maybe, it's enough to soak off the cooties.
While Mike sulks in the backyard, Jennifer contemplates her fate. She is afraid that Mike could win Veto Power and send her home.
Now he steals the Belt of Wampum
From the neck of Mishe-Mokwa,
Cuts in twain the twisted grape-vines,
And Nokomis falls affrighted
Downward through the evening twilight,
From the sky a grape is falling.
Purple now but blue tomorrow
Blonde streak to appear at daylight
Many needles touch her body
Many colors on her squaw skin
Oh, Great Spirit, can you save her?
In the HOH room, Jase, Adria, Will, Karen, and Lori are lolling about when Karen notices that the painting on the wall doesn't look right. She investigates and in doing so discovers the TV screen hidden behind the painting. They speculate about what it might be used for. Bunny knows, of course. Porn films for $8.95, available only to the HOH and the camera guys monitoring the room.
Jennifer joins Mike outside. He tells her he is ready to go home, that no one has a chance if "those two guys [Jase and Scott] are allowed to run the house." I'm sorry, Mike. It's the Power of Polymer. Somehow, when you stretch it across your noggin, it gives you strength. Your only hope in this game is getting BB to sneak in a twin named Delilah who's packing a pair of scissors.
Second Best Line of the Day goes to Holly:
"I don't think I have ever farted."
Jenn, Adria, and Diane are in the hot tub. Will joins them to let them know he can't look at Drew because "he's so cute, I feel like a diabetic in an ice cream store." (This would have been the Second Best Line of the Day if Holly hadn't been fart-free.)
Will and I are on the same page where you're concerned, Drew. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world/house. There are two of you, right? One for Will and one for me? Oh, Willy boy, Oscar night just got better.
At almost midnight, some of the HGs are standing around the kitchen counter. Mike asks, "Why do you treat Cowboy in such a bad fashion?" Scott: We don't pick on you, do we, Cowboy?
Cowboy stays silent, much like Tom Mix in The Range Rider.
Scott: You're talking s--t to everyone, Mike, and you're not even gone yet. (Yes, you are.)
While waiting around for everyone to be called to the Diary Room, the HGs decide to do a little cheerleading in the backyard. Shish boom bah and all that. A few of the girls get tossed into the air until BB nixes the gymnastics. I'm in total agreement with that call. If a HG has to exit the premises, we'd prefer it not be due to a little bump on the head, right? It's much more fun when you're booted for attempted murder.
Hoppy trails,
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