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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Friday, July 09, 2004 - 3:40 pm 
The HGs wake up to hula hoops in the backyard. There is also a big pole stuck in the ground, presumably for the HGs to use as target practice with the hula hoops. They pick them up and take turns tossing, all except Mike, who chooses to sit alone and mull over his impending eviction.
Jase said he nominated Mike because he was "a player who knew the game." You could have fooled me. Anyone who knew the game would be campaigning to stay, I think. He should be trying to find a common interest with the others, or at least fake one. Maybe talk animals with someone: cats with Holly, bulls with Michael, pigs with Scott. He might try bedding down with one of the girls, or, at this point, even with Will.
Of course, we all know the real reason Mike was nominated: he refused to dress in a pair of girl's panties for the last food competition. That was all it took for the metrosexuals in the house to team up against him. Personally, I don't think Mike refused because he didn't want to be seen on TV dressed in a woman's frilly skivvies. I think it was just because none of the girls had any underwear that fit him. Until BB makes the decision to put a really fat chick in the BB house, all the beer-gutted males of the house will be left out when it comes to cross-dressing fun.
Best Line of the Day goes once again to Marvin: "Hey, Cowboy, your daddy's gonna owe you a lot of back child support!"
Jennifer hears this and mentally pictures her trust fund dwindling away.
BB gifts the HGs with a vacuum cleaner, so some of them go back into the house to begin cleaning. Mike starts to practice throwing the rings. Karen tells Adria she feels sorry for The Don. "I want to tell him 'no hard feelings' but I haven't had the chance. Even Scott felt bad for him that he was sitting all alone last night."
Scott is in the bedroom with Holly, explaining how upset he was about his exchange with Mike the night before. "He said that I humiliate Cowboy, and that's just not true." I guess he was referring to the time when you decorated Michael with Q-tips while he was asleep. That's not really so bad - it's just that you used them to clean out your ears before you did it.
Scott asks Holly what her SAT score was. She replies, "1750." Hard to get out of a total of 1600.
Fashion update: Nokomis looks great today. If you removed a dozen or so tattoos and muted her hair a bit to, say, a soft lavender, she would be quite the dish. Her clothing is flattering, and she's totally working the Barbarella makeup. Fart-free Barbie, however, is dressed like a cupcake with Pepto Bismol frosting.
Mike has decided to forego the muscle shirts for no shirt at all. If I were an old man on the BB chopping block, that's a fashion risk I wouldn't want to take.
Will, why the pale pink skull cap? It totally washes out your porcelain complexion. Lose it, unless it means you'll revert back to the so-over backwards ballcap you were wearing for awhile.
Michael and Nokomis received letters from their father, courtesy of BB. In them, he states that he never knew Michael existed.
Michael: "My mother told me he knew about me. I have to believe her."
I say bring them to the BB house and ask them. Let's get some closure on this story so we can move on. I'm ready for a new DNA twist. Maybe we'll find out that Marvin dug his father's grave (literally) and buried him, but it wasn't really his father - it was his father's twin. His father is alive and well, living in Jamaica with Holly's mother. Or Holly's mother's twin. The possibilities are endless - just get to one.
Speaking of Marvin, he's no longer digging pb&j and, having been told "no" regarding his idea to shoot and bake a bird, he is now considering the possibility of removing one of the fish from the tank and frying it up. "I could have it in the pan before BB could get from there to here." White America has had it wrong all these years. It's not "the angry black man" you should fear; it's the HUNGRY black man.
Marvin is worried that the competition will force half the house to remain on pb&j. "If they want to be that cruel...half and half....you can put an anorexic ho on that...those girls will have an advantage. If they put me on that s--- for four f---ing weeks, I'm outta here."
Scott: Some guy in here was on it for three weeks and he went crazy.
Marvin: They do that and I'm gone. I'm here for good TV. You leave me on it for three weeks, and you want me to do competitions? I'm a pro. Red light on? I go. Boom. But you better put some food in my mother f---in' stomach or I'm gone with the wind.
Fiddle-dee-dee, Mahvin. Just don't think about it. Think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow IS another day.
The hoop tossing practice continues in the backyard. In the center ring of the circus, however, we have Scott, doing a stunt he devised on the treadmill. Laundry baskets are set up at the end of the machine, which is then set at its highest speed. Scott lies down on the walking track to become a human bowling ball that knocks over the baskets. In the process, he cuts himself, so BB has no choice but to tell him to stop. Bunny worries that if Marvin smells blood, he's going to come after Scott in a big way, thinking he's a side of beef.
Marvin later joins Mike outside.
Mike: You know, they already have a plan for you. They have their excuse to evict you already made up. I want you to know, though, that it wasn't Diane.
Marvin: I don't give a f--- about any of them hos. All them stuck-up pretty a-- hos.
(Bunny isn't sure how to type the plural of "ho." Is it "hos?" Or do you add an "e" like potato? Of course, the bigger picture here is that someone needs to either feed Marvin, or shoot him with a tranquilizer dart.)
Holly tells some of the others about a guy she used to date. "I call him Johnny Creepy." Someone asks for his real last name. She says, "It's Creepy. I call him Creepy Pee-pee Head." (Fill in your own "Are we in kindergarten?" joke.)
Karen has some one-on-one time with Cowboy Michael. She asks him if he wants to have a relationship with his father. He says that he does. They move on to talk about the game. Cowboy says being HOH would be awkward for him because he likes so many people in the house. Karen tells him, "The jocks like you. They have adopted you as their little brother and would step in front of a moving train for you." Or shoot themselves off a moving treadmill.
The storage room shelves are now stocked with food, displayed under a note that says, "Congratulations, Houseguests. You survived your first week of peanut butter and jelly. Enjoy....until the next food competition." Underneath it is another note that says, "Congratulations, internet watchers. You survived your first week of Scott."
The HGs discover the food and begin to carry it all out of the storage room and into the kitchen, afraid it will disappear if they leave any there. Someone shouts, "Give Marvin room, give him room! Let him work his magic!" What they really mean is, "Force feed him chili mac and cheese until he passes out."
After things calm down, Will and Lori find a chance to compare notes. They formed a secret alliance when they entered the house and need to check in with each other.
Lori: Holly seems to be in tight with Jase. I'm sure they will hook up.
Will: I agree. I'm worried that he may be playing her against the women, especially Diane. I think he sees us as smart and possible allies, but he doesn't know that we have an alliance.
Lori: I will feel better when Holly is gone.
Bunny: I won't. She may be giving us dialogue straight out of Tiny Tots Academy, but you're giving me nothing.
Will: I'm just trying to lay low like Karen is. Not talk to people much. I might be able to convince Adria and Diane to go after Scott.
Lori: Adria really likes Scott.
Will: Scott is unpredictable; he can't be trusted. Adria is looking for someone to trust and befriend. Playing this game takes life experience. You and I have it.
Then talk about it. Give me the scoop. I'm waiting.
Diane and Adria think the girls in the house should form an alliance. All the girls except Holly, who "leaves food all over the house, and lives alone with cats and a mannequin." They seem to think that they could pull Will to their side now, and Drew later.
Andria: Drew won't be on our side if the home boys are in the house.
Diane: If Mike goes, then who's next?
Andria: We need to get the guys to pick off another one of their own.
They agree to a bond between each other, with plans to approach the other girls. Jennifer/Nokomis joins them and is asked to be part of the alliance.
Adria: We have to be sure Holly doesn't get HOH.
Diane: She will NEVER get HOH!
Adria: If we don't start something now, the boys will pick us off one by one. We have to start playing the game. Diane thinks Jase started the game when he put her key last.
About Jennifer/Nokomis....I'm tired of typing two lengthy names. I know Nokomis isn't all that long for an Indian name - she certainly could have gone with Little Running Bear or Majestic Eagle Wing, or one of those that have a lot of hyphens and are hard to spell. But isn't there a shorter name she could use? Doesn't the word "tattoo" have a Native American origin? That would work, don't you think? Or is the Herve Villachaize "zee plane, zee plane" association too strong? How about we just go with Jennifomis? Not to be confused with "genuflect" or "germaphobe" or "epidermis." She shouldn't mind too much. It just speeds up the typing, and every minute counts when you're trying to get one of these tomes out.
In the bathroom, Will strategizes with Jase.
Will: The girls feel threatened by Holly, but I like Holly.
Jase: If you or Karen got HOH, who would you put up?
Will: Who do you think I should put up?
Jase: Let's talk about this when it happens.
Will: I think it's great that we are talking and nobody knows. I think we are safe either way.
Enter Scott: I want to use an egg to smash somebody's face in.
Michael joins the group and all wonder if there will be a competition tonight. There is talk that maybe it will be an all-night hula hoop marathon. The guys gets excited about the possibility, but not because they would get a chance to watch the girls wiggle for hours - no, they salivate in anticipation of being the "wiggle-EES," thrusting and gyrating for America. Thrust away, fellas. Just give me a moment to cancel my live feeds.
I like Holly. Really, I do. But does anyone else find it strange that she has an inanimate object for a roommate?
Holly, Will, and Lori are huddled under a blanket on the patio. Drew is there, too, but he doesn't say a word. Not until someone mentions Cinnabons. Then he perks up. Go figure.
Adria and Jennifomis are playing chess. Adria is pressuring Jen to form an alliance.
Adria: Where do you stand with Michael?
Jen: We agreed that we're two separate entities. We're going to wait until we get out of the house to get to know each other. It's too warped in here.
Adria wants Jen to use her connection to find out how embedded Michael is with Scott and Jase.
Adria: This girl group needs to stick together. We need to get rid of Jase and Scott. (You also need to get rid of a certain pair of unflattering low-riders, but you didn't hear that from me.)
Jase has an important announcement to make. The Veto is a Golden Veto, which he believes was designed to keep Mike in the house.
Scott: The next competition will be about Mike, Mike's hometown, and Mike's kids. (Second Best Line of the Day.)
Meltdown Alert: the second for BB5. Adria had one a couple of days ago, blaming it on hormones. This one is more serious. It's my darling Drew, who is crying uncontrollably because he misses his twin brother.
Drew: I don't mean to get emotional, but it's just hard.
Scott: Can I give you some advice? Learn from me and Jase. We're not going to break down in here. Not even when we're voted out. People love you. The girls love you.
Drew: Thanks, man. It's just so much change for me at once.
Scott: Stay strong and suck it up. It's a game!
Drew: Can I ask you....what improvements can I make for myself?
Scott: You're totally awesome already. Just try to have fun. That's all I can tell you.
And when you get out, Bunny will make it all better.
Hoppy trails,
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