| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Tuesday, July 13, 2004 - 1:58 pm 
When the HGs awaken this morning, Jase wastes no time trying to verify Scott's theory that Holly is a twin. Holly tells him she has a little sister, but no twin. You know, Bunny and Holly could be twins - they have so much in common. Both are blondes, and both know how to count to ten. Well, okay, both are blondes.
Marvin confides in Mike that he knows if Holly or Lori gets HOH, he'll be nominated for eviction. Why, Marv? Because of the lecher thing? Heck, what's a little sexual harassment among friends? Or even among strangers? Even strangers locked up in the house where they can't get away from you? I don't get it.
Michael talks to Drew about getting together to pitch a show to CBS. He wants to act when he leaves the house. Personally, I think it's a dad gum good idea. Shoot, I'd take a shinin' to it on a Friday evenin'. Cowboy could play a...well, a cowboy....a maverick, a wild cuss who jist wants to pole-axe all them sorry rattlesnakes who ain't got a darn tootin' lick o' sense. Drew would play his sidekick Lonesome. I, of course, would play Belle, the filly that Lonesome is hankerin' to ride. Don't laugh. It could work.
While Cowboy and Drew are planning their television debut, Holly and Jase are in the midst of their first quarrel. Jase thinks buying flowers for a girl is a lazy way to show affection; Holly, on the other hand, loves getting lots of them. It's good that they're getting this out there, so that if Jase wins $100 while he's in the BB house, he'll know to spend it on flowers for Holly. And there's no child at home waiting for a goody bag either. No chance of another BB Reward Gone Bad.
On lockdown, the HGs all get drinks and head outdoors. While there, Jen explains to Karen that she can learn to do tattoos by practicing on a grapefruit. Karen says she doesn't want a tattoo because her mother had one. I know what you mean, Karen. My mother loved Elvis so I would put my hands over my ears when "Love Me Tender" or "Do the Clam" came on. But now the King is gone - so I've come face to face with a little thing called "regret." Get the tattoo, Karen. Better yet, get one with your mother. Maybe even one of Elvis.
Drew confides in the boys that he had a wet dream last night.
Drew: It was just spontaneous, and now I feel better.
Jase: Dreaming about your girl back home?
Drew: No, it wasn't that. I can't explain it. Someone slapped a poster on the wall and somehow it did the trick.
Jase: A poster? Of what?
Drew: This
The HGs discuss the possibility of dressing up '80s style for the live show on Thursday night. I think this could work if Will and Holly don't fight over who gets to be Madonna.
Diane and Will are admiring Drew from afar. "I'd like to take him home," says Diane. She wants Will to find out how serious Drew is about his girlfriend. "But, you know, one day I like Drew, and the next day, I change my mind and I'm really into Scott. When Scott takes off his bandana, he's hot." I know, Diane, isn't that the weirdest thing? The only way I can explain it is to compare it to how Japanese men feel about the nape of a woman's neck. For women, it's a guy's forehead. One peek, and you have to pick us up off the floor.
The HGs gather around the table for dinner, with Adria saying grace. "Dear Lord, please don't make me eat anything that Scott touched pre-shower, and make Will give me back my pink caribou slippers."
Everyone digs in, but no one more than Lori, who acts like she hasn't eaten for weeks. "I usually eat six meals a day," she says. The others warn her that people on the internet are watching. She doesn't care. Baked spuds loaded with cheese will win out over image every time. BB, how are we fixed for muumuus in the shopping spree?
News flash! Karen Gets Angry! Karen tells Lori that she is upset with Adria and Diane for not helping with dinner tonight. "They didn't carry their weight. They just threw something in a pot and walked outside. And I don't want to work out with Adria. She's too pushy." Hearing sweet little Karen go off is just the event I've been waiting for. The syrup in her ears was way too thick.
NOW...let's tick off Drew. We'll start by telling him that the BB Fantasy League doesn't give points for involuntary honeymoons. Then, we'll warn him about the one rule BB has about the Live Show: No spout-outs.
Karen and Lori decide that it would be good strategy to nominate Jase and Holly and split them up. Part of me wants them gone, too, because a little "shmoopy" goes a long way. A long, long way, in fact. I feel like I've been to China and back after an hour with those two. But the other part of me wants them to stay in the game so that we'll actually have something to watch besides Scott's Dog and Pony Mostly Dog show.
Step up, the rest of you, or we're going to be in trouble. Will, if you're going to be the gay guy, give me more Marcellas. Karen, if you're going to be the chef, take a page out of the Book of Jun and sew some clothing out of lettuce. Adria, after Danielle led a workout, we got Tina Turner. It's time to crank it up and show us something. You can't leave all the entertaining to Barbie and Pinhead.
Hoppy trails,
|
|
