| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Monday, July 26, 2004 - 9:25 am 
It's Thursday, and that, of course, means it's a day of waiting for the Live Show. Marvin passes the time by buffing his bald head; Lori is singing, "Am I leaving? Not leaving? Leaving? Not leaving?;" and Michael is holding casting calls for his sitcom in the living room.
Nokomis is a vision in chartreuse as she yet again dons her green shirt to match her green hair. (Hey, Gumby - where's Pokey?) She's still getting used to her new haircut, as are the rest of us. It's kind of like when you get married just to have sex that night, and then the next morning you wake up and wonder why you did what you did, but it's too late and you're stuck with the hag for the rest of your life. Or with Jason Alexander of Kentwood, Louisiana, for 55 hours.
Nokomis resigns herself to the fact that she is stuck with the hair, and Bunny comes to terms with the fact that she's stuck with looking at it. Don't worry; she'll handle it with aplomb - much in the way she weathered a similar hair error suffered by Miss Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie did it because she wanted to show Boy George she was hip. She should have called Bunny first. She would have caught Rosie up to date on Who's Hot and Who's Shot. And whose chameleon lost its karma around 1984.
Everyone is trying to choose their clothing for the Live Show. Most of the boys except Will decide they are going to wear pink shirts. Let me repeat that. Most of the boys EXCEPT the gay one. Absorb.
Lori lies down on the couch with her head in Jase's lap and her feet in Marvin's. Marvin begins to massage her tootsies but doesn't stop there. His hands creep up her legs, then under her capri pants until he reaches her thighs. Lori abruptly sits up. This startles Marvin. I'm sure he's not used to his ladies coming alive like that. Memo to self: instruct loved ones not to lay me out at the funeral home in capri pants.
Michael goes to the kitchen to put an ice pack on his shoulder. He seems to have injured himself somehow - strained it trying to lasso his hat away from Scott or something. He is in pain, but he's trying to be a stoic cowpoke and not show it. It ain't fittin' for a man who rides bulls to wince like a little girl. Especially when he's dressed in a pink shirt embroidered with daisy petals.
Cowboy may not be comfortable with his new look, but I think it will go over big on his western. It takes a real man to saddle up in salmon.
Jase spends a great deal of time on his hair, trying to separate the spikes into more of a Calvin (or is it Hobbes) look rather than his usual paint-brush-left-in-a-can-of-shellac style. He encourages Michael to follow his lead, which looks fine from the front, but in profile, Cowboy bears an uncanny resemblance to that cockatoo on Baretta.
Holly appears in a white dress, short-sleeved with a mesh top and mini-skirt bottom. White bikini top underneath. Large white hoop earrings. Yellow wedged heels laced up to her knee. The outfit is too Carnaby Street meets Caesar's Palace "Cocktails anyone?" for me.
The Four Horsemen discuss possible nominations should one of them win the next HOH. They throw out names like Adria, Diane, and Karen. Michael wants Marvin out. After the quick strategy session, Drew takes a few moments to read the Bible he brought into the house. Bunny knows there's a passage in there about internet watchers wanting the Do-Rag Duo split up, but he can't seem to find it. He wouldn't nominate them anyway. They just look too darn pretty in pastels.
It's time for the Live Show, and we see that Nokomis changed her shirt from the green tee to blue western wear, circa Conway Twitty 1978. Vintage is fine as long as it didn't once belong to Conway Twitty. Like me, you're probably a bit concerned about the identity crisis Jen seems to be having. Is she a cowboy or an Indian? Prairie princess or Mohican maiden? Will she be slinging a gun or toting a tomahawk? Inquiring brothers who are casting for their western show want to know.
The HGs gather on the couch, ready to be questioned by Julie Chen, who gives a shout-out to Bunny by pinning floppy rabbit ears to the cuffs of her pants. She begins by addressing the last Veto, asking Jase why he used it. Jase uses the old standby "I was drunk" excuse, which will probably be the same one he uses to explain why he thought Meet Joe Black was a good movie.
The camera zooms in on the HGs as they await the vote. Word to Will: A little gel in the hair is fine, but when assorted flying insects could have a jello hot tub party on your head, it's time to cut back. Oh, and Marvin? Last week? The black shirt left open to the waist with the gold necklace? No. This ain't Shaft you on, bruvva.
Anyway, the vote is revealed: Lori is evicted and Karen survives (Whoopee! More peanut butter pie!). At least I think that's what happened. It was always hard for me to tell those two apart. Kind of like Betty and Veronica - one's blonde, one's brunette, but neither does much to get herself her own story line. They're always hanging around Archie, the quiet gay guy. It ought to be clear by now that if you want to stand out, you need to walk around on the arm of Jughead. Jughead with his 23 game violations, two showers in six months, and a suitcase full of poodle-pink poplin.
Following the eviction, the HGs go to the backyard for the HOH competition. They have to answer questions about the other contestants. The first one is something like, "Should screaming yellow lace-up wedged sandals be worn with a vanilla dress straight out of Go-Go Girls Gone Wrong?" Everyone answers "no" except Holly, who is promptly eliminated.
The next question is "Should screaming yellow lace-up wedged sandals be worn with anything....EVER?" Again, the answer is a resounding "Of course not!," but Marvin misses it, thinking that it was certainly okay to dress his lifeless ladies in yellow on Marvin's Banana Night at the morgue. Will, too, gets hung up on the question, mistakenly thinking that shoes exactly like those looked absolutely fab on Terence Stamp in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Wrong, Will, and out you go.
The deciding question is "Which one of you is most adored by America, and more importantly, by Bunny?" Everyone points at himself and is, therefore, declared completely and unequivocally incorrect - except for Drew, of course, who is immediately crowned HOH.
The new HOH is anxious to get into his bedroom. He wonders aloud if BB changed the sheets after Marvin. Everyone knows how many hours Marvin spent in there alone, especially right after Adria or Lori came in for a moment to say hello. Drew is assured that he will have clean sheets, but he'll have to live with vomit stains on the carpet.
The HGs start the promenade to the HOH room to woo Drew's vote. Diane goes in to woo Drew period. Jase and Scott want him to nominate Adria and Diane, Michael wants him to nominate Marvin, Diane wants him to nominate Holly, who walks in the room declaring, "It's just me in my stripper outfit!" You said it, I didn't.
The eviction vote was 7-2, so Holly asks Diane who voted for Lori to stay. "Will and I did," she says, "so she wouldn't go out with a unanimous vote. I didn't think it was right that we did that to Mike." Holly reports this news to Scott, but he's not really listening. Instead, he has his eye on her canary yellow platforms. "Can I try those on?," he asks. He tries to get his big Baby Huey feet into them, but it's a no-go. Sorry, wicked stepsister. Looks like the prince done lost your number.
I don't know about you, but I doubt I would have allowed Scott to try on my shoes. Chances are, if he doesn't scrub his butt, he probably doesn't waste much soap on his feet either. Then there's the stretch factor. Will the shoe revert back to its original shape? On top of that, in this case, they look really cheap. It has nothing to do with Scott, but it's just something I want to reiterate again for the record.
Drew is confused and wants time alone in the HOH room to ponder his choices for nomination. He also wants to get to all the goodies in his gift basket: a cd of his favorite music, a pillow that smells like home, matches to set his plaid pants on fire. He settles in for the night until he realizes he left something in his old room and runs out to pull it down from the wall and hang it in a prominent spot in his new digs.
There you go.
Sweet dreams, my love. And don't worry. Next week they'll change the sheets.
Hoppy trails,
|
|
