| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Friday, July 30, 2004 - 8:10 am 
Will and Karen begin their morning on the patio.
Karen: You know how Holly says she doesn't know how to break up with a guy? That she just wants them to go away?
Will: Yeah, I heard her say that.
Karen: Well, I think that's what she wants Jase to do. Just go away.
Bunny: That makes two of us.
Just kidding. I think in the outside world, Jase and I could hang out. We have so much in common. He likes Brad Pitt, I like Brad Pitt. He likes......well, he likes Brad Pitt, I like Brad Pitt.
Actually, Jase is playing the game well, and I give him props for that. I think it's his military background that makes him such a gamer. It's a viable strategy to be able to say, "Vote my way or I'll f'ing kill you." Kind of like what BB1's Justin did, only with camouflage pants.
Scott has a meeting with Diane to inform her that she's not going on the block if Jen uses the veto. "And I'm not going to nominate you next week if I get HOH." Diane promises she won't put him on the block either. Jase tells her if he gets HOH, she'll be safe with him as well. This is good news for Diane. She gets to take a break from the trailer park this week. Except there's still Marvin, waiting in the double wide for some cocktails and heavy petting.
Holly and Diane have a heart-to-heart. Holly says she feels like people in the house don't like her. That might be true, I really can't say. It could be that they are more uncomfortable with double-dipping than we originally thought, or that they prefer their friends to hold off on public urination. Which reminds me, I wrote a little song for you, Hol. I hope you like it:
There's some pee in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza
There's some pee in my bucket, dear Liza, some pee
But don't worry, honey. I like you. I like you because you have convictions that you stick to, no matter what. It must be really hard to be true to the vegetarian style of living with Marvin always waving his meat around. And I do believe your love for your sweetie sweet Jase is genuine and it's only a matter of time before you take him home to meet your mannequin.
Diane: I wish I could more like you, Holly.
Holly: Fart-free?
Diane: No, I wish I could trust people like you do.
See? Even Diane thinks you shine brightly in your own way. And you know how Jase feels about you. Look what he did to help take you off the block - he forced himself to throw up right before the Veto challenge so he'd be a lean, mean, competing machine. Come on, kitten. You know nothing says "forever" like blowing chunks.
The Four Horsemen have a meeting and Drew is once again encouraged to nominate Adria. "She is using the Bible to keep you on her side," they say. Drew talks to Adria to let her know that if he nominates her, "it's nothing personal." He says that morally, he is on the same side she is on, but he made a commitment to the men and he must honor it. Adria tells him that no one will hold it against him. "They all love you and know you were just acting on orders."
Nokomis says if Adria gets nominated, she will vomit. Drew asks her to avoid doing it in the HOH room because some moron from BB4 already stunk it up. "Well, I don't want to go anywhere near the bathroom," she says. "That's earmarked for Jase's valentines to Holly. I suppose I could go out in the yard, but it smells like someone peed out there." "How about Scott's suitcase?," asks Drew. "He won't notice since it's a sea of pink in there anyway." "Done," replies Nokomis.
Adria is convinced that Drew is going to nominate her. "Even if he does," says Diane, "Marvin will vote out Holly. When push comes to shove, it's all about the booty for Marvin. The reason Holly is fartless has less to do with a lack of dairy and more to do with a lack of storage space. You, on the other hand, have a caboose the size of Texas. Marvin's not going to boot out a J. Lo behind in favor of a flankless Lara Flynn Boyle."
It's time for the Veto ceremony. Jen takes herself off the block with the Power of Veto, and Drew stays true to the Horsemen replacing her with Adria/Natalie. This leaves Marvin with the deciding vote. Time to put Operation Booty Brainwash into maximum gear, child.
Holly and Jase are alone in the kitchen. He says, "I can't stop kissing you. You're my little sweet sweet sweetie sweet." (Nokomis? Find another spot. I think I'm going to puke puke pukey wook.)
Diane goes into the HOH room to ask why Drew didn't take her side in the fight with Jase and Holly.
Drew: "I did."
Diane: "Did not."
Drew: "Did, too."
Diane: "Did not."
Drew: "I know you are but what am I?"
Diane: "Hey, do you really want Adria out over Holly? Adria is such a good person."
Drew: "She's better at winning competitions. And besides, as you're well aware, Holly never farts."
Diane tells Drew that she knows she was put in the house to be eye candy. But not the good kind, like Godiva. More like Hershey's.
Michael tells his new friends about the way he proposed to his girlfriend. They went to a football field and he popped the question on the 50-yard-line right after enjoying a fine meal from Sonic, most probably a jalapeno burger with tater tots, or maybe one of those tasty new Toaster Sandwiches and a refreshing cherry limeade. I'm not sure why he picked a football field as the location for this momentous event, but I'm guessing it's because his days as the team mascot for the Durant Squirrels were the happiest of his life. "Go, team! Scamper, Squirrels, scamper! Go after those nuts and crack 'em, Squirrels, crack 'em!"
Holly tells Diane that she could hear her conversation with Drew through the wall. "I heard you ask him why he wanted me to stay in the game over Adria. I don't want to hear my name coming out of your mouth. I'm tired of trying to be nice to you. I'm sweet sweet sweetie sweet and you're not." (NOKOMIS! I'm WAITING....)
Drew assures Holly that Diane wasn't trying to get him to pick Adria over her. "All the girls in this house are jealous of me," she says. Yes, they are, Holly, and so am I. Your mother named you after the Hollywood sign, and that rocks! My mother named me after a sign, too, but it was one she saw in her podiatrist's office: Bunion Cushioned Pads.
Adria/Natalie tells Jen and Will, "They better not kick me out of this house. If they do, a ghost will come back to haunt them." (Casper? I LOVE that little guy!) Will says, "Holly told Drew that you were using the Bible to influence his decision, quoting scriptures and all that." Holly, did you really? You better give that approach a little more thought - it's never a good idea to talk smack about Jesus.
Adria decides to feel out Michael about his vote. "Help me out, Cowboy. I just can't go instead of Holly. Why me?"
Michael: Because you win competitions.
Adria: I haven't won any yet, have I?
She begins to cry. "I hate it that people are using my Christianity against me. I only showed Drew a few passages on courage." Michael tells her that it's not over yet, and he and his homeys are still talking in the hood.
Cowboy tells Will that when he gets out of the house and becomes a star, his fiancee will only allow him to kiss people he is paid to kiss. "So if I get a chance to smooch Julia Roberts, I'm a-gonna go fer it." Be careful out there, Cowboy. The tabloids won't be kind. They'll steal a screen shot of you bedding down Miss Roberts, and the next thing you know they'll be saying you're the father of her twins. "Stallion Stud Mounts Hollywood Thoroughbred," the headlines will read. "Pretty Woman Dumps Camera Man for Cowpoke: Twins to Be Named Buckaroo and Brakovitch."
You know, I wasn't kidding about calling Michael a stallion. Scott pulled down Cowboy's pants in front of the camera, exposing a lasso unlike any I've ever seen. The thing was enormous. Attention Props Department at Cowboy's Western Show: I'm afraid your star's going to require a deeper saddle.
Adria has a long talk with Drew, assuring him that she isn't using her religion to score points with him. "BB doesn't want bad people to win this game; this is a true test of your character. Be strong; don't be intimidated. I will have your back, and so will other people." Drew wants to discuss it with Michael. "Do you think I can trust Holly over Adria?" Cowboy says no. At least I think that's what Cowboy said. I wasn't listening. I was too busy staring at his pants, wondering if he could rope his nose.
Drew allows Diane into the HOH room to cuddle for the night. They talk about cars and twins, and they kiss under the covers. Drew tells her that there are no internet feeds in the room. Sadly, this is not the case, and Bunny sees everything that's going on. Her heart is breaking. Wasn't it enough that she was exposed to Cowboy's stallion medallion? Does she have to watch this, too? Look at the poster, Drew. You've reduced that sweetie sweet sweet face to a puddle of wet fur. Have a little mercy, why don't you?
Hoppy trails,
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