| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Friday, August 13, 2004 - 5:36 am 
Yesterday Adria noticed that some of her bandanas were missing. "There's a thief in the house," she said. This morning, other HGs notice that things are gone, and they wonder if BB is stealing their belongings. If they are, then they're messing up. It's not Adria's bandanas that need to disappear - surely they know by now that Jase's are the ones that need to be banished to Creepy Cloth Land. Nokomis says that maybe Mike is sneaking in and taking them. Mike? Who's Mike?
Okay, I remember him now. The guy who sat in the corner. I never really got to see him play the game. And I wanted to, too, since he watched all the other seasons and really knew the "ins and outs." He mainly just knows "the outs" now, as in Walk This Way Down the Exit Ramp, but it would have been nice to see what he could do had he stayed in longer. Of course, I always miss the first evictees most of all: Will Mega, Sheryl, Lori, Amanda, Mike - because I don't feel like we really got to see them show their stuff. Okay, maybe Amanda, but not the rest.
Jase and Cowboy are still in bed, which infuriates BB, not to mention Bunny and the entire East Coast. BB yells, "Jase! Michael! I said it's time to get up for the day!" Cowboy leaps out of bed; Jase does not. The others are either making breakfast or getting ready to go into the Diary Room to vote on one of the nominees for eviction. The HGs in the kitchen bring up Jase's jewels and how big and low they are, and decide they're the testicles of an old man. "He can't be 28 years old," says someone. "I would guess he's closer to 35." I think that looking at the cajoles of a man to guess his age is similar to looking at the rings of a tree, but my high school science book was a little sketchy on that.
The discussion about Jase continues with the HGs wondering if he's really a fireman or if he's just an actor pretending to be a fireman, and if he really lives in Illinois or is just an actor who lives in California pretending to live in Illinois. I don't think it really matters unless you're the person who's paying for his transportation on Thursday.
Michael saunters in the kitchen and says he had a hard time getting out of bed because he feels sick. "I have a sore throat and stuffy nose. I took some medicine and I think I'll be okay. I've had my tek-nis shot." I'm glad Cowboy's had a "tek-nis" shot, because now he's protected from all computer viruses.
Jase finally joins the group and talk turns to Holly. "I was really into her. I didn't understand how people could fall in love on a reality show. Now I know." Michael asks, "Have you ever dated a vegetarian before?" Don't worry, Cowboy. I'm sure she's had her shots, too.
Jase really needs to use the bathroom, but Drew has been in there forever. "Don't hurry because someone is out here waiting or anything!," yells Jase. Drew finally exits with an apology: "You know how you think you're done, but you're not?" No, no, no, no, NO, Drew, PLEASE don't discuss the elimination process in front of me! I don't WANT to know that you go to the bathroom; I don't WANT to know that you perspire; I don't WANT to know that you fart, belch, or otherwise do anything that detracts from the Perfection that is You. I want to pretend that you merely walked into the loo for a second just to see if Scott had been back.
Speaking of Scott, Jase asks, "Was it true that he never took a bar of soap to his ass?" Marvin says, "No, he never took a shower." Michael comments that maybe it was just his family's culture. I totally agree. I'm almost certain that Scott said he was born in France.
Jase says he knows that today is Voting Day, and that he hopes Drew and Michael vote for him to stay. "Why don't you try to talk to the others and get some more votes?," asks Cowboy. "It doesn't really matter," replies Jase. "Unless one of us got HOH, I'd be gone next week anyway." Cowboy says, "You should still try." Bunny says just give up, because you're a goner for sure, and that means there's very little time left to entertain me. Use your last day on BB Earth to make another sock puppet or deface some more photos or do a new chicken dance - or maybe dangle some balls or something. Next week, all I'll have to look forward to is a few more peanut butter treats from Karen.
The girls and Will are in the backyard sunning. Marvin, Jase and Cowboy talk about the next nomination session. "I would put the twins on the block," says Michael. "I think someone who needs the money should win. If it's not me, I'll probably try to get a scholarship to college and go for a degree in Theatre." Cowboy on 42nd Street? I think it could work. He'll have his name in the headlines in no time: THICK-TONGUED THESPIAN NEW THEATRE THTAR! or COWPOKE CONQUERS "CABARET!" The girls of BB5 may want a spread in Playboy, but Michael has his sights set on PlayBILL.
Michael says he used to live in a trailer. "I didn't get my own room until we hooked it to a house. I'll never live in a trailer again." I know the pain of those days runs deep, Cowboy, but you can bring it to your dramatic roles on stage. Carry the heartache with you and use it when you play, say, Romeo: I say, uh, I say there, soft! What light breaks through the window over yonder? No one's ever done Shakespeare with a touch of Gomer Pyle before, much less Foghorn Leghorn.
Nokomis has decided to stop smoking while she is in the house. She's wearing a Nicoderm patch, which I think is the name of another character in "Hiawatha."
By the shores of Gitche Gume
Through the tranquil air of morning
Sat Nokomis with the peace pipe
Black smoke rising, rising, rising
Now a thick cloud, dense and putrid
Houseguest tribe is coughing, coughing
Nicoderm, the mighty warrior
Shouts from lungs no longer blackened
"Heed my words and you'll be smoke-free!
Side effects to be expected."
BB puts the HGs on lockdown inside the house. Jennifer is feeling dizzy, tired, and anxious from the patch so she goes to lie down. Michael is still sick and wants to nap as well. Diane and Drew cuddle together for awhile and read the Bible. I hope Drew locates a passage in there about not sharing details of your bowel movements with God's softest and most delicate creatures. I know there's got to be one.
The HGs are soon permitted to go outside, where they find some kind of shuffleboard game. They all spend a long time playing it, except for Jase, who watches from the sideline. After awhile, beer and wine arrives and Will and Nokomis take their allotment to the hammock while a few of the others head for the hot tub. While soaking, Jase talks about putting some of his BB clothing up for sale on Ebay. "People will buy those head bands you've been wearing," says Marvin. Jase says, "Yeah, I'll say, 'I wore this one the day I was nominated!'"
Yes, get those mandanas up for auction, Jase, and pronto. You need to strike while the crimping iron is hot. If you wait too long, people will have spent all their money on Scott's. Me included. Halloween's coming, and I'm dressing up as one of those mummies from "Thriller."
Will, Karen, Jen, and Diane sneak away to the HOH room to have a private strategy session. "Let's toast the girl alliance - we used to be the underdogs, but now we are powerful!," says Diane. They call themselves the GPA, which stands for Girl Power Alliance. I don't like how Will is left out of the name. It ought to be called GPA GPA: Girl Power Alliance and a Gel-heavy Pansy with Attitude.
Will: I want to get HOH and put Cowboy up.
Karen: Do we want to do the six-finger thing again? (With Karen, it's always about the fingers.)
Diane: No, let's put Marvin and Cowboy both up.
Karen: I want Cowboy to go. I feel like I'm his f'ing babysitter.
Will: He's driving me crazy.
Diane: Drew says he'll nominate Cowboy, so if he wins HOH, we have nothing to worry about.
Okay, fine. Get rid of Michael - but he's going to leave a freak dance and marble mouth hole that no one else can fill. I personally don't relish living in a world without him in it, but I guess I'll just have to wait until he makes his mark on the Great White Way. Name your ticket price, Cowboy - I'm SO there.
Hoppy trails,
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