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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 4:09 pm 
BB awakens the HGs about 9am today. Drew and Diane are sleeping soundly, having not gone to bed until almost 6am the night before. BB focuses its attention on them, yelling at them repeatedly to get up. Will looks particularly disheveled as he makes his way to the living room. Bunny apologizes for accusing him of wearing too much gel in his hair. It appears that he needs every single ounce, and then some.
Yesterday Drew and Diane had their first lovers' spat. Diane spilled her guts to Jen, Karen, and Will about Drew's promise to Adria that he would vote out Will. "Drew thinks you are after him, Will, so he feels the need to get you out." Will runs to Drew to deny it, and Drew tells Diane how upset he is that she betrayed his trust. Diane apologizes and says she was looking out for herself in the game. "Besides, someone told me that reality romances don't work."
Drew: Who? Joe Millionaire?
Diane: No.
Drew: David from BB4?
Diane: Nope. That one worked out just fine. He totally came out on top.
Drew: Eric from BB3?
Diane: No, although he really got hosed, that's for sure.
Drew: Bunny?
Diane: I'm not telling.
Drew: Gotta be that rabbit. Just because she said a few nice things about Jee last year, he thinks he owns her.
Later, the two make up, but Drew confides in Michael that maybe he made a mistake starting a romantic relationship inside the house. Cowboy wonders what took him so long to figure that out. Bunny says, "About as long as it took you to learn to say 'McClintock.'"
The next morning, Will has a nice conversation with Adria and Natalie, but later tells Diane, "I was sitting at the table, making nice with those biotches, thinking Natalie might vote for me to stay. It would be stupid of her, though, because if I win the next HOH, I already have my nomination speech planned out. It would be the cattiest, queeniest speech in BB history." I know "queeniest" isn't a word, but I still wouldn't miss it.
Karen says she is going to throw the next food competition so that Diane and Drew can eat. I like this idea where Drew's concerned, because after having been on pb&j for two weeks, the guy is so weak he can't talk. All he can say is, "Yeah, uh, right.....uh, right, right.....uh, yeah, right." Some people think it's a strategy on his part to lie low, or that his days on the football field left him with a limited vocabulary, but I know for a fact that an overdose of Peter Pan is the cause. I dare you to see how much you can say with peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
The HGs are informed that there will be a Live Vote during tomorrow's show. Will is upset that the voting won't be done until tomorrow because he won't be able to relax until then. "Usually the voting is over on Wednesday, so you can forget about it and just enjoy the evening. This time we can't." Well, you can't - and maybe Marvin can't - but I'm going to enjoy the heck out of having one more night to watch the two of you squirm. I'll feel bad about it at the end of the game, though, kind of like when Amy used to burn ants with a magnifying glass but her conscience didn't kick in until after the entire colony had been decimated.
Will says, "I didn't have a hateful bone in my body until I came here, know what I'm sayin?" This is another reason I'm looking forward to this evening. I get to chug a beer every time Will says, "You know what I'm sayin'?" If he was relaxed, he might not say it as much.
The HGs go on lockdown inside. Will, Karen, and Diane are in the kitchen. Diane says she would like to get HOH again this week. Karen says, "That means you would be the first person in this house to get it two times in a row - that's a historical event!" First of all, Kare, "two in a row" doesn't mean you get HOH one week and then you get it again three weeks later with Jen and Adria as HOH in between. "In a row" means "side by side" or "next to one another" or "in a line" - as in "Cowboy and Scott took 17 baths together in a row" or "Marvin said the word 'p-ssy' 49 times in a row" or "Bunny sent 368 emails in a row to Johnny Depp," which has nothing to do with BB but is still a good example. Second of all, getting HOH twice is not a historic event. Bunny actually getting a reply from Johnny Depp would be.
Will says he hopes he is in the house next week and wins HOH. "If I do, those two little piggies are going to fry like bacon."
Diane: I know it's your week, Will - I know you'll get HOH.
Will: Fry like bacon, piggies - you hear me?
Remember when I used to want Will to win? I still think he's cute and all that, but he's starting to scare me. I half expect to see "Die, Dan!" written on the bathroom wall again. Only this time, in bacon fat.
Will wants to know why Adria nominated him.
Jen: Because you smack your food.
Will: I don't either!
Jen: Well, you do kinda. And you chomp on ice constantly. The internet people throw things at the screen whenever you take a step toward the fridge. The noise is excruciating.
Will: But that's no reason to kick me out of the house.
Jen: No, but when you couple that with using big words like "conundrum" and "copasetic"......well, you can certainly see why you would lose Cowboy's vote.
Drew and Michael discuss the nominations.
Drew: What are your plans?
Michael: Will......out!
Drew: I'm still planning on voting Will out, too.
Michael: If you change your mind, dude, please tell me - or I'm going to take offense.
Drew: I won't change my mind. Everyone knows Will was gunning after me. Why would I keep him here? That would be stupid.
Michael: Everyone got mad because they wanted me up against Marvin.
Drew: Well, they had a pinky swear.
Oh, no. This can't be happening. Just when I'm starting to think that Adria made a bold move to nominate two of her known enemies, you go and tell me she PINKY SWORE to put up Cowboy? That changes everything. Pinky swears are sacred. No way should she have messed with that, no matter what Jesus told her to do. In fact, Jesus should have known better. That's exactly what happened with Judas.
Drew: Even Nokomis said it should have been you up against Marvin.
Michael: I really appreciate you telling me. I thought I would look bad if I put her up, but now we've seen her true colors. She's my sister, for goodness sake! But I know how she reacts to me - I'm not dumb.
No one has ever said you were dumb, Cowboy. We may have pointed out a time or two that your words may get lost on their way from your brain to your mouth, but plenty of smart people have that problem. Look at George Bush.
Drew: Someone told Diane that she can't trust our relationship - that it's not reality in here. I want to know who told her that.
Michael: Who would do that? Maybe she just made it up.
Drew: No, she was really upset. I have too much of my life invested in this game. I need to try and keep the personal stuff out of it.
Drew, I don't think you have to worry about Diane. She thinks your love is totally real. You didn't hear her telling the girls that a psychic told her she would meet a brown-haired, brown-eyed person that she DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW. Someone get me the name of that psychic. It's amazing how she knew that Diane wouldn't know the person she was going to meet. Usually, when I meet someone for the first time, it turns out I've known them for years.
Also, while you have the psychic on the line, would you ask her if Alison is going to go on any more reality shows? I want to be ready.
In the HOH room, Adria and Natalie are still trying to decide if Marvin or Will should go.
Adria: You could get the next HOH and get rid of Jen, then we could go after Marvin next.
Natalie: I love Will to death, but I don't think it's in our best interest to keep him in the game.
Adria: Yeah, if I walk out next week, I would rather have a friend there in the sequester house. I don't like how Marvin blames everything on racism - that's not fair.
Natalie: We have to do what's best for our alliances. I'll never sell you out, though.
Adria: One of us will probably have to go, but maybe one of us still has a chance to win.
Says who?
Marvin is packing his suitcase and doesn't want to forget the pair of Lori's panties that she gave him. "I want to frame them when I get home; they're cute little panties." Now, see, this is why I'm conflicted about Marvin. One minute I want him to stay because he cracks me up, but the next minute he's talking about putting a girl's underwear under plexiglass at the nearest U-Frame-It shop. Geez, is it any wonder he has to advertise on Match.com for a date?
The HGs ask for alcohol, and BB answers no - but they do get a set of dominoes. They decide to play "Train" where one has to line up the dominoes in a row. Needless to say, Karen loses.
Marvin, Adria, Natalie, and Michael head for the hot tub after Dominoes. While they are there, talk turns to home and Marvin calls Michael "hillbilly boy." What??? How can you accuse Adria of talking smack about blacks and gays when you're admitting an obvious prejudice against rednecks? Hick bias is no more tolerable than any other.
Michael and Adria are left alone for awhile, and Adria asks Michael if he is ready to get HOH. "It comes with responsibilities," she says. It also comes with a one-way ticket for your ass to Grassville, but I'm sure he's figured that out.
Adria: If you have a question about me, please come ask me, because things are misconstrued in this house pretty fast. If things weren't cool with us, you wouldn't be safe this week. Thank you for being my friend, Cowboy.
Michael: Same here. The rest of the people here is judging y'all because of what the game is played and they are mad at y'all for it but I don't see no harm in it. That alliances has to be broken up, and I mean ever one of 'em.
Karen is getting ready to retire for the night. She takes off the pair of shorts she has worn almost every day in the house. They are going to go in the same BB Hall of Fame fashion section as Will's shorts from BB2 and Justin's from BB4. Before you enter the exhibit, clothespins will be provided. Marvin's shoes will be in a separate room all by themselves with only two people allowed to enter at one time: you and a paramedic. But that's just until gas masks can be fit into the budget.
Before they go to sleep, Adria and Natalie rehearse what Adria will say during the Live Show if she has to break a tie. Rather than worrying about that, they should be focusing on what Adria is going to wear. Her fashion sense has been a bit befuddled lately. Let's face it - we were all perplexed as to why she chose that ripped-from-Granny's-curtains blouse during the Veto ceremony. Come on, child, even Isaac Mizrahi has a rack at Target.
I'm sorry, was that a bit of hick bias? See, Marvin, we all slip up from time to time. I don't have a thing against people from Alabama. Some of my best friends are Alabamians. And even though I still insist they ride in the back of the pick-up, I don't mind drinking from the same water hose.
Speaking of bad BB fashion, let's talk Nokomis. The skater jeans were pretty bad, but the ones she's been wearing lately that are ripped at the knee got ta go. The holes aren't just slight tears, they are gaping canyons that show her entire shin. I know this makes it easier for her to get at her kneecaps and calves to update her tattoos, but I don't think denim should have to die for it.
Cowboy joins Adria in the HOH room to read a few passages from the Bible. He stumbles over some of the words and Adria helps him pronounce them.
Adria: It's "Mary Mag-da-lene," Cowboy.
Cowboy: Mlary Lag-ma-dene.
Adra: No, "Mary Mag-da-lene."
Cowboy: Mary Dagga....Mary Lagda...aw, shucks.....me can't say it.....McClintock!
"McClintock" coach from Diary Room: By jove, I think he's got it!
Adria moves on to a passage from Psalms but doesn't know how to interpret it. I'll be happy to help.
The wicked man will see and be vexed,
Well, that's obviously talking about Drew being hypnotized by Diane, and how he's "wicked fine."
he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
That, of course, is talking about Drew on peanut butter.
the longings of the wicked will come to Nothing.
Unfortunately, God is making it clear that Bunny might as well back her cottontail into reverse. No one's messing with the most perfect man he's unwrapped since Adam.
Jennifer has lost her ring and everyone is looking for it. It turns out that it is in the pocket of a pair of Will's jeans that Jen wore one day. He takes it to her and asks, "Who's your daddy?" Someone needs to tell Will that that's old news already.
Hoppy trails,
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