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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 10:26 am 
This summary is dedicated to Moondance, Rabbit, and Lancecrossfire.
The HGs are awakened with music and Adria complains that BB never plays a country song. BB reminds everyone that today is a live show with live voting in the Diary Room.
Diane warns Will that he may be leaving tonight. "I think Drew may have voted for you to be evicted and Marvin to stay. I do believe Drew is starting to doubt the twins, though. He says he thought they were conspiring last night in the hot tub." Will says he doesn't really care. Jen joins the conversation and they all diss the twins some more, while Karen vacuums the same spot over and over close by. The rest of the floor is filled with M&Ms, bread crumbs, and peanut butter tidbits, but that one spot is spanking clean and threadbare.
The HGs are choosing their outfits for the Live Show. Michael says he's just going to wear his birthday suit. That brings to mind a country song BB could play for Adria - that one by the Dixie Chicks, "Take Cowboy Away," is it? I know it's something about seeing a cowboy in his birthday suit so many times that he must be 100 by now, and the girl or rabbit or whatever that's singing the song says if she has to look at him one more time balancing a hat on his pecker, she's going to throw herself head first into the dry gulch.
Everyone is dressed and ready. Will has on a bright pink shirt which is amazingly the exact color of an old bottle of Tickle Me Pink nail polish I have in the drawer that I keep forgetting to throw away. The shirt has some shiny flecks in it - and, again, you're not going to believe this - but so does the nail polish.
Natalie has on a top the same color of pink with one of those skirts that has an uneven hem. It's black and looks like a bat. Adria has on a black top and a beige skirt, using the trick all the fashion magazines recommend if you want to focus attention on your posterior. Marvin is obviously pleased. Michael decides to put on clothing after all and opts for his bright yellow western shirt, which will come in handy later if he dribbles mustard.
Marvin has on his dog collar, which should be leaving a green ring around his neck by now, and Karen is wearing a colorful dress. If the camera doesn't pan down to her shoes, she'll be okay. Drew is Drew and it doesn't really matter what he's wearing, it works. Diane, unable to decide which side of the fence she is now playing on, manifests this indecision in her blouse, which she is wearing off-the-shoulder on one side and on-the-shoulder on the other side. Jennifomis is wearing a full cone of cotton candy on her head.
Actually, Jen has dyed her hair yet again. Let's see - we've gone from purple to green to blonde to orange and now pink. I'm afraid Britney from BB1's place in reality history has been usurped. Nokomis is the reigning Princess of Pigment. Apparently, it's a good strategy move, because this girl could win the whole thing. No one wants to vote out a rainbow, which reminds me of that "Candyman" song we all know:
Who can take a rainbow
Sprinkle it with tattoos
Cover it in piercings
And a new Mohawk hairdo
The Indi_an can
Yes, the Indi_an can
Nokomis is the best thing to hit BB costuming since Chicken George's spacesuit. And she's even upped the ante tonight, choosing to write messages to her family on her NECK. Several of the others have nice little shout-outs penciled on their arms, but Jen writes a few words and numbers on her gullet. Sure, all the tattoos on her body make it impossible to find any other blank space, but I'm still giving her points for creativity.
It's time for the Live Show and each guest goes into the Diary Room to vote. Natalie, Michael, and Drew all vote to evict Will; Karen, Jen, and Diane vote to evict Marvin. Adria breaks the tie by freeing Willie, sending him to the sequester house as the first member of the jury. He's furious about the outcome and as the blood rushes to his face, he looks less like my pink nail polish and more like a red cherry. And not one of those maraschino cherries but more of a dark Bing. I mean, he's really mad.
As he leaves the house, he hugs everyone in his path except the twins. To Adria, he shouts out a curse, but he mumbles the words. It's not his fault - there's a lot of blood in his head, remember.
Will: Karma chameleons bare their fangs to tuna and gators.
Adria: What???
Will: If you can't find mushrooms, bring a prune or a tater.
Julie Chen: Huh???
Will: If karma is a boomerang, it will come back sooner or later.
Bunny: Oh. Okay.
Is this your idea of the "queeniest" speech ever, Will? I know you were planning on using your best stuff in a nomination ceremony should you become HOH, but the minute you realized that's not a possibility, it was time to throw out the golden nuggets you've been stashing. No one could even understand that curse, much less think it's good homo material. I wanted to hear something about frying piggies and beige skirt fashion choices and disco. Rewind and start over, and this time leave out any mention of boomerangs unless it involves Russell Crowe.
The HGs gather in the backyard for the HOH competition. They are asked questions about evicted HGs. No one seems to know much and Nokomis, pretty much by accident, is named the new HOH. The twins instantly become lepers and the other HGs step away.
Adria and Natalie, now alone, try to decipher Will's cryptic message.
Adria: I don't even know what "karma" means. Is it good or bad?
Natalie: Maybe he was talking about Carmen Electra.
Adria: No, you're confusing him with Robert.
Natalie: Could he have said "carpet?" Trying to warn us to keep the vacuum away from Karen? She really wore a hole in it today, you know.
Adria: No, I don't think that's what he meant. He also said something about "lunar gangs."
Natalie: That's definitely a reference to Nokomis. She's one of those Daughters of the Moon, and I'm sure that's some kind of Indian cult. We better sleep with one eye open.
Adria: I hope the next person who casts a spell on me will be a little more clear.
After the HOH is announced, Diane immediately jumps ship from the Twin Kin alliance and swims back to the Pinky Swear group. She tells Jennifer that she will support her if she decides to nominate both twins. "If one vetoes herself off the block, feel free to put up Drew. I love him to death, but this is a game." Girl, you did int! Bed him and then eat him alive? What are you - a praying mantis? Get me a crop duster - I've got some pesticide with your name on it.
Marvin wants to know why Adria chose to evict Will instead of him.
Marvin: I know the Bible told you to put us both up, but how did you know which one of us Jesus wanted to send home?
Adria: That answer was also in the Good Book, right there in the Lord's Prayer.
Marvin: Oh, yeah....where it says "Thy Will be done?"
During the Live Show, Julie announced that one HG will win a role on the soap opera "The Young and Restless." He or she will get to leave the house for a day to film, and the winner will be determined by viewer voting. Michael wastes no time campaigning for votes. He wanders through the house, pleading to the cameras, "America, y'all know you love the Cowboy. Vote for me to be on that 'so-popper.'" Bunny goes immediately to CBS.com to cast her vote for Michael because she wants to start an office pool on how many takes he'll need to spit out his lines. Her boss is leaning toward 9007, but that might be too conservative an estimate.
Diane tells Drew that she knows America will want one of them to win. "You know it's going to be me or you. Who else would America pick - Cowboy? I don't think so!" Drew says he doesn't want to get his hopes up. Diane, I hate to break it to you but I think even if you win, Y&R won't put you on camera. I happen to know a little bit about television, and I'm afraid your - I can't think of what else to call them - "skunk streaks?" - will play havoc with the lighting. They used to have all kinds of problems with that woman on "The Munsters."
The HGs are surprised to find out that the Food Competition for the week will be held tonight. They go into the backyard to find a table set with all their favorite meals. Each person must eat his meal in less than three minutes; the catch is that they will be blended into a smoothie by Nokomis, the new HOH. Michael is first. He is playing for food for tomorrow. He downs his meal of sweet and sour chicken, carrots, rice, fortune cookies, and Dr. Pepper. He can't say all that, but he can drink it.
Marvin is next. His seafood smoothie consists of lobster, oysters, shrimp, fries, and a Corona with lime. He gives a valiant effort, but can't down the stuff - therefore, food is lost in the house for Saturday. Adria drinks next for Sunday: Fettucini Alfredo, salad with dressing, zucchini, chocolate cake, and red wine. The concoction is heavy on the wine so it goes down easily and quickly. Synchronize your watches: in about five minutes, Adria will be slurring her words and begging for a lap dance.
It's Drew's turn to drink his meal made up of filet mignon, baked potato, broccoli, apple pie a la mode, and a Corona with lime. Like Marvin, he has a difficult time getting it down. Must be the lime. Anyway, he makes it just before time runs out and wins food for another day. He's followed by Karen, who is more than anxious to get at her smoothie of peanut butter cookies, brownies with peanut butter bits, and toast points dipped in peanut butter. Actually, she drinks down a shake with Mexican ingredients: a bean burrito, a steak soft taco, and a choco taco. She's been so constipated lately that she's hoping her run for the border will result in a run to the bathroom.
Natalie is next, gulping down a big glass of filet, steamed veggies, and coffee with Kahlua and brandy. She scores the fastest time of anyone. Diane is last, and she has to spend a few moments talking herself into drinking her spinach pizza, chicken, mashed potatoes, veggies, and water. By the way, what kind of meal is that? Who orders pizza AND chicken and potatoes? Anyway, she insists that more water be added, and is finally able to drink. It almost comes back up, but she completes the task and the HGs are awarded food for every day but one.
Following the competition, Karen approaches Jen about her nominations. Jen tells her that she plans to put the twins on the block. "They look alike, they act alike, and they're going out alike." She is going to say, "This is for Will!"
Karen: How do you think the twins converted Drew?
Jen: I don't think they did. He had his mind made up a long time ago. Now he has an "X" on his back.
Nokomis, you know I really like you, but you and the twins are starting to hack me off. First Will, and now Drew. You need to stop taking all the cute boys out. I can't spend the last week looking at......well, fill in the blank.
All the HGs decide to call it a night except Drew and Diane, who still have enough energy to mess around under the bed sheets. That's what a good filet mignon or spinach pizza with chicken and mashed potatoes protein shake can do for you, I guess.
Hoppy trails,
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