| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Tuesday, August 24, 2004 - 2:51 pm 
This summary is dedicated to the Live Feed posters of TVCH. Thank you, one and all!
Jennifer has nominated the twins as promised. She wants revenge for Will's eviction, for breaking a pinky swear, and for getting stuck with Cowboy as her brother. The last one wasn't really the twins' fault, but she feels the need to blame somebody anyway.
I'm actually enjoying he who is Cowboy. You never know what he's going to say next. Take for example the other night when he greased his hair back to resemble the star from, well, "Grease."
Cowboy: Hey, y'all, I look like John Travolka.
Karen: You mean John Travolta?
Cowboy: That's what I said - John Travolka. But I think I really look more like David Swimmer, the guy from the "Friends."
Karen: David Schwimmer?
Cowboy: That's what I said. David Swimmer.
I know that Michael's mispronunciation of the names is funny, but let's not lose sight of the bigger picture here.
When it comes time for the Veto Challenge, the HGs compete by trying to recognize morphed photos of themselves. Holly is morphed into Nokomis, Michael is morphed into Diane, and Adria is morphed into Mike, which ends up looking very much like someone from a Melissa Etheridge video. Also, please make a note that no infant born of a union between Lori and Marvin should ever see the light of day. Separately, they're attractive people, but suffice it to say that his sperm and her egg should never be left alone with a bottle of whiskey.
Adria guesses the mighty morphs in the fastest time and gains the power of Veto. She immediately begins to wrestle with what she should do with it - take herself off the block, take her sister off, or leave it as is since she's sure one of them is going home anyway.
The Veto competition was preceded by a Luxury Challenge during which the HGs had to climb through a net of wires, retrieving lettered balls to spell the word "internet." They won the contest and received the prize of ordering fourteen items from Amazon.com. They chose mostly exercise equipment and food, missing a perfect opportunity to order some Odor Eaters for Marvin and some clothes that actually fit Nokomis.
On Monday, BB gives an early wake up call, announcing that it's almost time for the Veto Ceremony. As soon as Jen is dressed, she finds Michael to talk to him. She tells him that she is thinking of putting him on the block if Adria uses the Veto. "You're one of the safer people," she says. The ceremony is held and Adria removes herself from the block; Michael is put up in her place. He says he is anxious to see who wins America's Choice "so I can be two for two."
He doesn't have to wait long. The winner is announced, and Marvin walks away with the part in "The Young and Restless." He is whisked away in a blindfold to the set. Can you say "p-ssy" on a soap? If not, production is likely to go over budget today with retakes.
The Lonesome Cowboy wanders sullenly through the house, sad about missing his chance to chew the fat with Victor Newman. "I'm happy for Marvin," he says, which really means, "America, how could you have voted for him? Have you smelled his FEET???"
Karen is sitting alone outside, talking to herself. This is getting to be a regular occurrence, and frankly, I'm becoming a bit worried. She says she's talking to the internet people, but the last time I looked, I wasn't there. I take it you weren't either.
Diane and Drew are snuggling in the bed. Diane tells Drew that his looks are the most important thing to her. "Personality is second." Good thing.
Michael discusses his nomination with Adria.
Michael: Why did it have to be me? Why not Drew?
Adria: It's time to break those two up. Diane probably told Nokomis to keep Drew off the block.
Michael: I really like Diane.
Adria: She talks all the time about how much she hates you. She is slick. She's good at this game.
Michael: I won't nominate you if I'm still here next week. You and Natalie are the only ones who have taken me in and talked to me.
Adria: Karen and Diane can go for HOH.
Michael: Karen won't get it. She doesn't want to make a decision.
Which reminds me. I need to make an apology to Karen. As it turns out, wedges are back in this season. And so is purple, so my apologies to Adria as well. Of course, platforms made a return visit to the fashion world a while back, but that doesn't mean they should have.
Adria joins her sister in the hammock.
Natalie: I don't want to go....oh, well! It was a house decision to break us up.
Adria: Diane wanted to form a strong twin alliance with you, me, and Drew. We bought into it, made a move she recommended, and now she doesn't even want to talk to us.
The two decide that the key to keeping Natalie in the house lies with Diane. They hope that she'll turn the votes around and evict Cowboy.
I like Natalie. She takes good care of her hair, and she dances. However, if she stays, that means Cowboy goes, and right now he and his lasso are the only things keeping these summaries going. If all the wild people are voted out, I'm going to have to solicit CBS to bring back Jase and Scott for an "Animal House" reunion.
Drew and Diane are still pretending to nap.
Diane: It will be better in the house when Natalie is gone. I can't stand being around the twins. They knew they were targets the minute they walked into this house. Please tell me you are voting out Natalie.
Drew: You promised you wouldn't ask me that.
Diane: I convinced Nokomis she could trust you, so she didn't put you up.
Marvin returns from his stint on the soap opera. He's been a "Young and Restless" fan for years, so it was a real treat getting to meet all the stars of the show. He is carrying a pair of sneakers. "They gave me these to wear when I was filming." He doesn't mention that they tried to burn his old ones but the shoes wouldn't catch fire. Ever try to burn a bag of s--t on Halloween? Same thing.
Cowboy (in tears, natch) tells Adria that he is very homesick. "But I don't want to tell anyone because it could hurt me in the game." Adria says she really misses her husband. "I know if he was here, he would be telling me how much he loved me in ways that only he could, like when he gave me a shotgun for Christmas."
Cowboy: He gave you a shotgun??
Adria: Yes, and it was one of those extra-special ones, and when I opened up the rifle case, there was a note in it that said, "This is how much I love you."
Yeah, ask any woman: Nothing says love like a 20-gauge.
Dear Husbands of America,
Adria is plumb out of her Alabama gourd. None of us gals wants to see any of the following under the Christmas tree: appliances, jumper cables, nose hair clippers, or a shotgun. Most especially not a shotgun, unless you plan to rig it to shoot emeralds.
Yours in the banishment of any gift with a battery or trigger,
Bunny
Natalie invites Drew to join her on the putting green so she can begin to work on him for his vote.
Natalie: I was talking to Diane earlier and she said she was in this game for herself. She has an alliance with everyone in the house.
Drew: Yeah...right....right.
Natalie: You've got to think about survival. You need to talk to her....help keep the twin alliance strong.
Drew: Yeah....right....right.
Natalie: Think ahead, Drew. There's no guarantee you'll get HOH next week. I want to remind you of your options.
Drew: Yeah....uh....right.
Karen, Jen, and Diane are in the HOH room. They decide that next week, if one of them gets HOH, they will put up Adria and Michael. If one of them gets vetoed, Marvin will go up on the block. Karen says, "He's had his fantasy day now, so I don't feel so bad voting for him. It was better than the $10,000 Lori got."
I don't know about that, Karen. A couple of lines on a soap opera versus ten grand? I guess if it had been "Dallas" when Brad Pitt was on there, it might have been the better deal, especially for Jase. And wasn't Elvis's wife in the cast, too? You might have had the chance to warn her away from those "Naked Gun" movies.
Natalie goes inside to work on Diane. "I want you and Drew to get on the same page with Adria and me. I can't help you if I'm not here. I can't help Drew if I'm not here. Think on it." Drew walks in and breaks up the conversation. Natalie leaves and Diane tells Drew, "She just laid a load on me. I can't believe it. She's just trying to save her own ass." "I can't really blame her," says Drew.
Yeah, that's kind of the point to the game, Diane. See, in order to take home the pot at the end of the rainbow, you have to kick a few leprechauns out of the way. It hurts you for awhile - they're tiny and it's easy to leave a boot print that covers the entire length of their bodies, and you feel awful because you know they desperately need the money for their shamrock farms and cereal advertising - but once you reach the gold, you remind them that it was just a game and offer to take them out for corned beef.
Michael hits Drew up for his vote.
Michael: I think we still look good - you, me, Adria.
Drew: Uh....yeah....right, right.
BB surprises the HGs with booze tonight, and no one is more excited than Diane. She begged for beer a couple of nights ago and told BB she just wanted to get really drunk one night, and that she wouldn't ask for any more the rest of the week. She got her wish, and while she was drunk she talked about all the times she has driven a car while intoxicated, which stunned the members of the M.A.D.D. and S.A.D.D. organizations, not to mention B.A.D.D. (Bunnies Against Drunk Dianes).
The HGs down their drinks and the talk quickly turns to sex. Marvin wants to know what size breasts Cowboy likes. He says he likes big ones, but he used to like small ones. "I used to like that saying, 'More than a mouth is a wasteful.'" Marvin: "Well, the saying is actually "More than a mouthful is a waste," and the only one that ever says that are girls with little t-tties."
Adria corners Drew for one last push for a vote for her sister. Natalie works on Karen at the same time. Diane confronts Drew about how much time he is spending with the twins. "It paranoids me," she says. (Taken straight from the School of Cowboy.) Drew lays out a plan to Diane, using the twins to get the four of them to the end. "Nokomis can't win HOH next week, and Karen won't try. We should think about that."
Diane: I can't go back on my word to Nokomis and Karen. And you would feel bad next week if the twins put me on the block.
Drew: They won't put you up.
Diane: WHAT have they DONE to you???
Michael walks into the room in the middle of the conversation and asks Diane if he has her vote.
Diane: You're safe to me, Cowboy. I ain't voting you out. You can go tell the twins, I don't care. I respect you for coming and asking me for my vote instead of campaigning and trying to sway me.
Diane and Drew cuddle in the hammock and talk strategy. He wants her to consider keeping the twin alliance intact. She wants him to vote out Natalie. They argue for quite awhile but still come to no agreement. Diane says she will think about Drew's ideas, and Drew promises that he will let her know how he's going to vote when he makes his decision.
I don't really care who votes what. I'm just thrilled that Drew has learned how to talk. I was beginning to think he was nothing but a pretty face. Not that that's such a bad thing, but it's nice when you find out he has a tongue attached, for more reasons than one.
Hoppy trails,
|
|
