| Author |
Message |
Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Friday, August 27, 2004 - 4:27 pm 
This summary is dedicated to the hard-working moderators of TVCH.
The activities of the day are beginning, and Marvin starts his by reading a few passages from the Bible. Yes, I said Marvin. He can't seem to find any of his favorite words in the index, so he settles for the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The tale can't hold a candle to Marvin's adventures in the funeral home on Banana Night, but it pacifies him for the time being.
I spy Nokomis dressed and ready to have her coffee outside. I'm beginning to wonder if she sleeps in her clothes because the plaid shirt she's wearing never seems to get a breather. If I was going to wear the same shirt every day, it wouldn't be one I stole from the nearest guy on a tractor.
Karen is trying to find out how Marvin is going to vote this week. She complains to him that "the twins are the ultimate alliance." I beg to differ. I think the ultimate alliance of all time was Danielle and Jason. It went totally undetected for the entire BB3 game. Of course, a better alliance would have been Bunny and Jason, which has nothing to do with the game and everything to do with the fact that he was on "House Calls" today and I forgot how much I loved him. Well, I didn't forget, but you probably did, so this seems as good a time as any to remind you.
By the way, Jason, I did hear your shout-out to me on the show, but you said it so softly that some of the words weren't picked up by your microphone. All we got was "cuddle bunny," when I know without a doubt that you said, "I want to cuddle with Bunny." You're going to need to learn to speak up, sweetheart. Otherwise, I'm going to have to dump you for the first frat boy who calls in and yells, "Bunny rocks!"
Anyway, Marvin agrees that Natalie needs to go and says "the twin thing was deceptive." He asks Karen who she wants gone next week, and she says, "Probably Cowboy." He agrees that Michael may need to be put on the block next. Karen then lies and says that Diane and Jen never talk to her, and she doesn't share anything with them.
Karen then goes directly to Jen, the person she never talks to, and tells her that Marvin will probably put up Michael if he is HOH next week. "He is going to vote out a twin," she says. "I trust Diane, but if she talks about us too much to Drew, you and I are liable to go up on the block. Right now I'm concerned about Adria and Natalie and all of their campaigning. They are pummeling Drew. They are working everyone else by being extra nice."
Jen: Are they eating your peanut butter treats?
Karen: By the bushels.
Jen: Yep, you're right. They're definitely going balls out.
Diane joins them and whines that Natalie was giving Drew a back rub last night. "The one thing you don't do is touch my man!" So wait until the game is over, Nat, when he drops her like a hot potato and heads for Mustique avec moi. We'll definitely need a masseuse on the payroll.
Karen, Drew, Diane, and Jen are in the backyard. Drew picks up Diane and puts her in the clothes dryer. He doesn't turn it on, which is a shame, because I think she could really benefit from a spin through the cool down cycle. She won't let up on her hatred for the twins, so much so that when Natalie tries to talk to her, she puts a pillow over her face. I would say something here about bag....pillow...what's the difference?...but that would imply that I think Diane is unattractive. She may not be now, but if she doesn't cut down on her frolics in the sun, Drew will have to spray her with Wrinkle Free the next time he tosses her into the Maytag.
The twins join the group outside to wash Natalie's clothes before she packs them. Karen joins them by the washtub to tell them she doesn't know what she's going to do with herself when they're gone. I would venture a guess here that she'll probably do pretty much what she's always done with herself, but I could be wrong. She begins to cry, telling them how much respect she has for them. The twins take advantage of the opportunity and work some more on Karen for her vote. Afterwards, Karen runs to Diane to tell her about the twins "hardcore pressure."
Natalie gives Adria a pep talk, encouraging her to fight until the end of the game.
Natalie: Are you ready to be a tiger?
Adria: I feel alone. I can't depend on people here.
Natalie: Force yourself to be a part of everything.
That would certainly be my advice, A. That's been part of the problem with both of you being in the house - you're always together. People have felt ganged up on, like they were lost in the Land of Double Vision and everywhere they turn, they see two of everything. Two of you girls, two nipples on everyone but Diane, two of those little Pigpen clouds following behind Marvin's feet - it's just "two" much.
Nokomis's hair has now faded to a pale icy pink, which is less the color of cotton candy now and more in tune with a snow cone - the kind you get when the person won't give you enough cherry syrup, so it's mostly ice with a few streaks of pink. She has on the same ugly green t-shirt under the same ugly plaid shirt topped off with the same ugly camouflage cap. Oh, how I wish Will could have stayed long enough to give her a makeover. There's potential there, I just know it.
I need to backtrack a moment and apologize for perpetuating a rumor. I'm not sure if Diane really has three nipples, so I hate to put that out there. It could be Karen.
The HGs are bored, so Michael and Drew skim the pool. They catch a dragonfly in the process and decide to make him their pet. Somewhere in the house, they locate a piece of string, which they tie to the dragonfly as a leash. They try to teach him some tricks, but the only one he learns is "play dead," taught to him by Marvin. Unfortunately, like many method-acting dragonflies, he becomes one with the part and accidentally suffocates while trying to perfect his role, forever squelching any hope of being cast on "Young and Restless" as an Amazon mosquito or a threadbare butterfly from the wrong side of the tracks. Marvin assures the other HGs that the death was a total accident and he had nothing to do with it, in spite of the fact that he had plans to use the string to teach the dragonfly a thing or two about auto-eroticism.
In the backyard, BB surprises the HGs with miniature golf putting ramps. They take turns hitting golf balls with Drew running circles around everyone else. Not literally running circles - that was another night when he was naked and thought if he ran fast we wouldn't see him. Speaking of which, I notice that Cowboy has on his hat again tonight, so somebody warn me if you hear him say anything like, "Putter? I'll show you a putter!"
Natalie tries to cut a deal with Karen one more time. "Do you want to go to the sequester house after me? If I stay in the house and get HOH, I won't put you up." Karen retreats to the shower, but Natalie continues to talk. "Will went home because he wouldn't make a commitment to save us." Are you kidding me?? THAT'S why Will went home? I thought God made that call. You let me know this just in time. I was getting ready to picket synagogues and spend my tithe money on a new pair of wedges. (I told you - they're back in.)
Karen tells Nokomis that the twins won't let up. "Those girls did a pinky swear with Will, and they didn't have his back," Nokomis says. "I can't trust them in this game. They owe me a finger." I'm assuming that Nokomis wants the pinky, but it would be easier for the twins to type without a thumb, except for the space bar, which they could hit with their chin or something. You really need the pinky to hold in the air when you're sipping from a cup at Southern tea parties, and it certainly comes in handy when you need a table for four. I'm sure if the twins had a choice, they would give up the middle finger, since it's the Bible's least favorite.
Diane asks Drew how long they've been in the house. "Fifty-four days. If you multiply that by 24 hours in a day, we've been here 1296 hours." Someone pick Bunny up off the floor. Not only does the kid talk, he can do math! He has the looks, the brains, the soft heart.....so why did he come into this house again?
Hoppy trails,
|
|
