| Author |
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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Monday, August 30, 2004 - 3:14 pm 
BB allows the HGs to sleep late today. It's almost 11am before they start getting out of bed. Diane complains of a hangover and apologizes to BB for getting so drunk last night. Don't apologize to them, Di - say you're sorry to those of us who had to watch you without getting paid for it. I haven't seen anyone that wasted since Courtney Love's last court appearance.
The HGs are ordered outside for a long lockdown while BB turns one of the bedrooms into an exercise room. Just what we needed - loud treadmills to drown out conversations. As if Cowboy's not hard enough to understand as it is.
Marvin consults Diane about his nominations. She suggests that he put up Adria because everyone wants her out of the house. Everyone being mostly Diane. The HGs think Diane hates Adria because she voted out Will, having no clue that Diane was the one who actually suggested the idea. The real reason, of course, is that she is jealous of Drew's friendly relationship with Adria. Satan wants to give Eve a poison apple so she can have Adam all to herself. I'm fine with that as long as Adam gets out of his khaki shorts and into a fig leaf.
Diane promises to protect Marvin if he goes along with her suggestions. They do a pinky swear under the table, which we know means a lot to Nokomis but doesn't mean s--t to Diane. I don't know what it means to Marvin, but he's going for it because it's a chance to touch a woman.
When the HGs are allowed back inside, they are excited to see the new workout room. Jen says, "Awesome possum!" and then, "Cool beans!" because she's trying hard to get a catch phrase going. Bunny thinks these are every bit as lame as "Yee-haw!" and refuses to give them the same stamp of approval as Jordan's "I strip for research!" and Bunky's "Where's my Beano?," not to mention Hardy's "My toothbrush tastes funny."
Inside, Diane whispers to Marvin, "Have you decided what you're going to do yet?" Marvin replies that he plans on nominating Adria. Diane tells him that he should nominate Cowboy along with Adria to keep him from winning and using the Veto to take her off the block. "If one of them gets the Veto, I'll probably put up ass-kisser Karen," says Marvin.
Diane tells Drew about Marvin's plans. "I talked him into putting Cowboy on the block so he wouldn't put you up. We're going to have to keep Marvin around for another week." Then she goes into the HOH room to let Marvin know that she wants to be standing next to him at the end of the game. I'd be careful playing Marvin like that, Diane. Remember, he's quite comfortable around cadavers.
The HGs are outside waiting for the Nomination Ceremony to begin. Michael tells Adria that "knowing Diane, she'll convince Marvin to put you and me on the block." Adria says, "I'm at the point in the game where, knowing what I know, I can't wait to do what I want with it." For a minute I thought she was talking about squealing on Diane - letting the others know that she asked Adria to send one of them home - but now I realize she's talking about the power of Cowboy's lasso. She has big ideas to market his talent, and doesn't think anyone should poo-poo the idea of a sitcom. Losing "Sex and the City" leaves a void in the HBO schedule, and Cowboy may be just the ticket to keep viewers tuned in: "Dicks That We Pity" or something like that.
Don't take that the wrong way - his is a mighty fine penis. I only pity it because it's like a trick pony, always being asked to perform on cue. It does all the work, but the hat gets all the applause. I guess it's true what they say: Behind every great hat is a great weiner. Before you know it, Bette Midler will be singing a song about it: "You Are the Wood Beneath My Wide-Brim."
Marvin stays true to Diane's wishes and nominates Adria and Michael. Adria immediately begins to sort out her clothes, thinking she has no chance to stay. Which reminds me, BB, are you going to give her back her rabbit when she goes? I do appreciate that you listened to me when I asked you to steal it from her in the HOH room - it worked like a charm, didn't it? She's been giving us drama ever since! But now that you have it, I'm thinking it might hop its way into a tiny box with just enough postage on it to make it to my house. What do you say? Otherwise, it will just end up in a garage sale in Alabama.
Adria tells Michael that she knows everyone wants her out of the house. "If they don't get me out this week, they'll just try again the next." She tells him to fight to stay in the game. He lets her know that he wants to be friends with her after the show. This is great news for Adria because she's guaranteed backstage passes when Cowboy stars in "Horsespray" on Broadway.
Karen tells Jen that Marvin and Michael need to be nominated next week. "We can't," says Jen. "Diane made a deal with Marvin." Karen: "Well, I didn't. That's why Diane is so dangerous. She shouldn't speak for everyone. We should have gotten rid of him. He's going to skate through to the end." Well, if he does, make sure you fumigate his roller blades right after.
Michael says he was a huge fan of the other BB shows and can't wait to see what people say about him on the internet.......Uh oh.
Actually, Cowboy, you're a real sweet guy with a lot of heart. Sure, you trip over your words, but who doesn't? For most of us, it doesn't even come naturally - we have to have a few beers first - but for the Cowboy, there's nothing his tongue can't tangle. My hat's off to you, brother. As far as getting on the internet, the only things you may be shocked to find out are (1) Broadway's not hiring, and (2) somebody already beat you to the hat trick. Check any fraternity house on a Saturday night.
Adria asks Karen if she will use the Veto on her if she wins it. Karen says, "I would be afraid to." I think it would be asking too much, A. For Karen to actually win anything would be more than she could handle. Adria moves on to Drew, asking him if he would use the Veto should he win it. He also says no. She returns to Karen and asks her again to consider using the Veto. Karen begins to cry, now tying Cowboy's record for Most Wimp Scenes in a Season. She says she can't use the Veto because she is still upset about the twin twist.
Adria tells Karen, "I want to say something, and really blow things up, but my faith won't let me." Maybe your faith won't, but Bunny will. She thinks it's imperative that you spill your guts about Diane's role in Will's eviction. Things are a little slow in the house today and we need a good shake-up. I understand you're a bit hesitant, but look at it from a Biblical point of view. You need to hand Diane over to the Philistines, smite her with the pestilence, drive her out of Egypt, and stuff like that.
Or maybe you could just use one of the baseball analogies you're so fond of. Tell them how when you were up to bat, the coach told you to hit one of the balls out of the ballpark. Not a ball that can spin and freak dance in mid-air, but rather one that brings its own stadium blankey. Tell them how you did that, but then the coach signed a new contract and abandoned you for another team when she found out the mute water boy was hanging around your end of the bench too much. Tell them all of it, and then sit back and watch some of them cry and the others pee their pants. Tell them there's no crying or peeing in baseball, and that you deserve to stay in the game. It will be a brilliant play, even though it probably won't work. Not when the coach is still the one with all the balls.
Hoppy trails,
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