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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Monday, September 06, 2004 - 6:50 pm 
This summary is dedicated to Smokey, Spammy, and Sloshie.
On Thursday, Adria is evicted as predicted, with Marvin sending her back into the real world with a few choice words about loyalty, deceit, and bedding booty-licious twins in a heart-shaped bed in the Poconos. Following the eviction, Drew is named HOH for a short period of 48 hours. He quickly nominates Marvin ("I didn't like the way he spoke to Adria at the door") and Diane ("I don't think I can trust her anymore"). He tells Diane that he's worried about her loyalty to their alliance because she doesn't tell him everything she hears in the house. Of course, I suspect that the real reason Drew is nominating Marvin and Diane has more to do with their mini-make-out session.
Drew tells Diane that she has been kissing everybody - Scott, Marvin, Karen. Which reminds me - how many HGs does it take to screw a light bulb? One, if it's Diane. But she better make it quick, before Nokomis has time to whip off her bra and take advantage of an empty socket. Don't gasp - you so know she would.
Diane tells the other girls that if she wins the POV, she won't use it - however, she DOES win it, and she DOES use it, causing Nokomis and Karen to cast doubt on Diane's role in their alliance. Drew puts Nokomis on the block in her place. The HGs vote, and Marvin follows Adria to the tropical paradise where the evicted HGs are sequestered. Perhaps there, his booty-licious twin fantasy can come true.
Marvin is upset about getting evicted, but what is more disconcerting to him is that he left without finding out who had the third nipple. He thinks it could be Diane or Karen, but I don't want to spread rumors. It could be Nokomis. And if it's not, she'll probably find some way to add one. She's just about run out of things to pierce.
Nokomis nominates Drew and, once again, her brother. She tells Cowboy that her pinky swear alliance is stronger than family ties. Blood is thicker than water, but not cuticles. "If I have to break a tie, though, I won't vote you out," she says.
Diane asks Drew and Cowboy to throw the Veto competition and let her win it. "I will take Drew off the block, Nokomis will be forced to put up Karen in his place, then Drew and I will vote her out, saving Cowboy." The remaining two Horsemen like her plan to join them, but are worried that she just wants to win the Veto to keep herself from being put on the block if one of them wins it instead.
The three girls left in the game are masterful players: Diane, Nokomis, and Karen. However, Karen is the only one who has made a point of securing jury votes before each evictee leaves the house. She's done it with crying, with brownies, and with remorseful goodbye messages, all of which worked with Will, Adria, and Natalie, but not with Marvin. To get his vote, she had to let him pick her up and straddle him for a few whirls around the backyard. Ride the pony, Mony Mony. It's a small price to pay for 500 grand, if you ask me - many have straddled for much less. In fact, who among us hasn't taken a whirl a time or two in exchange for a couple of rum and cokes and a free breakfast at Denney's?
It's Sunday, and since the events of this week have been sped up, it's time for the Veto Competition. There are cages in the backyard, and the HGs are told to each choose one and get inside. The competition commences, and Diane walks away with the Power of Veto once again, all with the help of Drew and Cowboy. The guys had prayed right before the challenge, so they attribute Diane's win to Divine Intervention. I personally think that God is way too busy at the Sequester House trying to keep Will and Marvin from feeding the twins to the sharks, but what do I know? Maybe God's a fan of "Bunny Tales" and in His Omnipotent Wisdom, knows that if Drew is evicted, Bunny will shut down shop.
The girls say they have all gained weight in the house.
Karen: I've gained the most.
Bunny: No, not really. You just feel weighted down by guilt.
Nokomis: I think I've gained the most.
Bunny: No, not you either, although I would quash those midriff tops if I were you.
Diane: It's me. I've gained more than either of you.
Bunny: You said it, I didn't. Although I was just about to.
It's true that Diane has put on a few pounds. It became clear to her when Marvin stopped eyeing the twins' backsides and instead became focused on hers. It became clear to ME much sooner than that. And if it hasn't become clear to YOU, take a gander at how well she's filling out her shorts today. Of course, they're white, so it could just be an 8-12 pound illusion.
Diane tells Drew and Cowboy that she didn't do a pinky swear with Karen. "My only promise was to Nokomis," she says.
Cowboy: You had one with Marvin.
Diane: Yeah, I broke that one. And now I need to tell the girls that I made a promise to Drew not to vote him out.
Drew: But you didn't.
Diane: I know, but I need to lie to them. I need to say it when they tape my Veto speech.
Cowboy: You're not breaking your word to Nokomis, but you're honoring your promise to Drew.
Diane: Yeah, that's what I'll say.
Drew: Fine, but I wouldn't say it in those white shorts.
Cowboy tells Diane how strange it seems to have an alliance with her. "You used to hate me." Diane says it was because he burrowed in with the bad boys in the beginning. "It takes awhile to see who has a pure heart - you were surrounded by all those bad people," she says.
Cowboy: Karen has been throwing all the competitions except that one Veto.
Diane: She's smarter than she wants us to believe.
Cowboy: Is that why she's always popping the pimples on her face?
Diane: Yeah, it's just to throw us off track. She's banking on us thinking that only a moron would squeeze her zits on camera.
Cowboy: She almost had me fooled.
Diane: You and me both, Cowboy.
Nokomis asks Karen if she has discussed the Veto with Diane.
Karen: Not yet. I don't want to seem like I don't trust her. Cowboy seems to be at peace about going home. I think it's a done deal that Diane won't use it.
Nokomis decides to ask Diane outright what she plans to do. Diane tells her she is going to use the Veto to save Drew. "We made a deal that we would take each other off the block." Nokomis leaves Diane to find Drew, and asks him if he wants to take one for the team. He replies that he would prefer not to.
Nokomis: I understand that, but I don't want to vote against my brother. I don't want to be in the position where I have to break a tie. If you go off the block, I'll have to put up Karen, but I figure it's time the Cowboy went home. (Head 'em up, move 'em out, rawhide. Raw hide with a hat, that is.)
Nokomis asks Diane to leave Drew on the block. Diane tells Drew that she may do that because she is afraid that he has an alliance with Cowboy. "I think you are more on his side than mine," she says.
Drew: I think you have a stronger alliance with Nokomis than you do with me.
Diane: I hate lying to Nokomis. It paranoids me.
Drew: I am mad that she asked me to stay on the block.
Diane: She has protected Karen all the way. Karen has had a free ride (and not just around the backyard astride Marvin) - she only won one veto. I've been taking hits all along, and I deserve to be here. I also have a right to protect you the way she's protecting Karen.
Cowboy tells Drew, "I'm upset with my little sister. I know she wants me out. She doesn't want to vote against me, but she wants me out." Cowboy is hurt, and, as we all know, he's not afraid to show it.
Here come those tears again
Why can't you ever learn to hold them in
Drew reminds him that it's just a game. A game where you find the father you never knew, meet a sister you always wanted but never dreamed you had, and then cry when said sister wants to send you out the door with a boot print the size of Texas on your ass. "She has truly hurted me," says Cowboy. "I can't let her be in my sitcomma now. I have too much proud for that."
Drew: What about your Broadway show?
Cowboy: Not that neither.
Drew: Your so-popper?
Cowboy: Not on your life. I will never forgive her for her revengeance.
Nokomis lets Karen know that Diane may save Drew. "He wants to be taken off the block, but they'll vote Cowboy out."
Karen: I don't trust Drew, and I've never trusted Diane. Drew doesn't know what Diane will do - she has complete control.
Nokomis: Diane made a promise to Drew.
Karen: She made a promise to US. I guess we should have kept Adria. She wanted all the men gone from the beginning. She was pushing for an all-girl alliance. Diane is a cocky, brazen psychopath. I know she wants Cowboy out of here, but she's on a power trip and I could go.
Nokomis: I'll talk to Drew and try to strike a deal.
Karen: That won't work. He's in too tight with Diane. What could you offer him that he doesn't already have?
Nokomis: Bunny.
Karen: I know I'm out of here this week. I can smell it.
Nokomis: No, that's just Marvin's feet. He left his shoes here.
Karen: You're wrong. There's the scent of something in the air.
Nokomis: Jase's sock then.
Karen: No, I really think something's up. I smell defeat.
Nokomis: Like I said - Marvin.
Nokomis tries to find Diane alone to talk to her once more about letting the Veto ride. Diane makes a point of never being in a room without Drew and/or Cowboy.
Nokomis: If she's avoiding us, it's because she plans to use the Veto. They won't let me get her alone tonight. I'll ask her tomorrow.
Karen: You have to ask her tonight. If I don't find out tonight, I'll go bonkers. You guys haven't seen me bonkers.
Actually, we have, and as I recall, it was late at night and they had a helluva time tracking down the psychiatrist. Now you're going to go bananas on Labor Day weekend? By the time they locate Dr. X, you'll be rocking back and forth in a corner, pulling out your eyelashes and singing commercial jingles. At least Nokomis will be on hand to apply shock treatments if necessary, but I would advise that you keep your bra on at all times.
Karen decides to confront Diane herself. She goes into the bedroom where Diane is pretending to be asleep. Karen noisily rummages around in a drawer, then she sits down on the bed.
Karen: I'm sorry - were you asleep?
She asks Diane about the Veto, and Diane explains that she made a promise to Drew and she is going to use it.
Karen: But he nominated you.
Diane: Don't worry, Karen; you're safe. (Liar, liar, white shorts on fire.)
Diane goes into the HOH room to talk to Nokomis.
Diane: Drew is afraid he will be voted out; he is fragile. I need to take him off the block.
Nokomis: But he nominated you. Cowboy is clinging to you, and that makes Karen nervous.
Diane: Cowboy is clinging to Drew, not to me. I will talk to Drew again, and see if he will trust me to leave him on the block. (Liar, liar, white shorts still on fire because they've been stretched out so much that they take longer to burn.)
Diane gets in bed with Drew and relays her conversation with Nokomis. "Nokomis paranoids me. I don't think Karen needs to know she's going home until she's actually evicted." Dang. There goes our chance of getting another forced boot-out. I really feel cheated when everything goes smoothly, don't you? I want to see Karen lose it and head for the knife drawer or something. If we don't get some real drama soon, BB will be forced to bring the mime back, and we certainly can't have that, or I'll be the one looking for a serrated blade.
Diane tells Drew that she is anxious to continue their relationship outside the house. "I can't wait to meet your brother, and for you to meet my sister, and for us to spend time together as a couple and see each other as much as we want! We haven't even had sex yet!" Hold on, sister, don't be registering the Oneida just yet. I have a feeling that Drew has a few more visits to make to the candy store before he unwraps you.
Karen goes into the HOH to sleep with Nokomis. She wonders if Diane will stay true to their alliance and evict Cowboy. Nokomis feels sure that she will. "She didn't pinky swear directly with you, but she did with me, and I passed it along to you, and that counts."
Karen: She did a pinky swear with you?
Nokomis: Yeah.
Karen: And you told her it was going to be passed along to me?
Nokomis: Yeah.
Karen: So it counts?
Nokomis: Yeah.
Karen: A vicarious and roundabout pinky swear has the same intensity as a direct skin-to-skin pinky swear?
Nokomis: Most definitely.
Karen: So if she breaks it, you get another finger?
Nokomis: Yeah, and then I'll have enough to make a necklace.
Karen: Cool beans.
Nokomis: Hey, get your own catch phrase.
Karen: Yee-haw!
Nokomis: Taken.
Karen: That paranoids me!
Nokomis: Definitely a keeper, but also claimed already.
Karen: I have a few more zits to pop!
Nokomis: Yeah, that'll work.
Karen: No, I mean I really do have a few more zits to pop. Don't wait up.
Hoppy trails,
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