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Bunny
Member
09-01-2000
| Thursday, September 09, 2004 - 10:19 am 
The HGs gather in the kitchen for breakfast. Cowboy says they could have so much fun outside of the house with no cameras watching. Yeah, I suppose if there were no cameras, he would run through the house naked, take bubble baths with other guys, parade around in a dress and falsies, hang his hat on his hard-on, freak dance like a maniac, and sob with joy whenever someone mentioned that he looked good in yellow.
The only time Cowboy's not wearing yellow is when he's wearing no shirt at all. It's a toss-up as to which is worse. It's not that yellow is a bad color, but it should be worn in small increments. And it's not that Cowboy has a bad-looking chest, it's just that he won't stand up straight. Mama never told him not to slouch, I guess. Anyway, lately he's opted to go shirtless pretty much every day, which only serves one good purpose, and that's to prove that he's not the one with the third nipple.
Karen and Nokomis have their morning coffee on the back porch. Nokomis asks, "How's the girl that no one wants to talk to?" (Oh, is Adria still here?) Karen says, "No one here appreciates me, even after I've cooked a hundred meals, washed a thousand dishes, and vacuumed a million square feet of carpet." Karen, don't you know by now that on reality TV shows, the hard workers never last? Just look at Rupert.
Karen tells Nokomis to do whatever she needs to do to stay in the game. "Tell them I was behind all the decisions we made, tell them I threw competitions and insisted you take the heat, badmouth me all you want. If I'm not here, blame everything on me, and maybe you'll have a chance." Nokomis nods, but doesn't really say she'll do it.
Karen: What will you do with the money if you win?
Nokomis: Probably open a tattoo parlor. Tattoos and piercings. And so it begins-uh....needles and pins-uh.
The HGs spend the morning playing Euchre on the patio. Cowboy says he's going to go to the Diary Room to request groceries for a speciality of his. "I love me some Frito Chili Pie!," he says. "Does you think they would gimme the makings for it? It's a right cheap little dinner. And super easy, too. You take some Fritos, pour on a can of chili con carnival, and 'valet,' you got you a pie. Me, myself, and I make it all the time."
Oh, for those of you who haven't tuned in lately, Cowboy now refers to himself as three people. Him, himself, and he. It gets really confusing when he's talking strategy to Drew.
Cowboy: I myself would like to get to the Final Two. Would you yourself like to join me?
Drew: What?
Cowboy: Myself and me, we'd really like to get to the Final Two with you uns and your own self.
Drew: Come again?
Cowboy: Does you, yourself, and y'all want to go to the Final Two with old me-oh-my-oh and my id?
Drew: Final TWO? That's way more than two, man.
Diane tells the others that she thinks she and Drew will be the new Reality "It" Couple when they leave the house. If so, it won't be for long. As soon as a copy of that "Girls Gone Wild" video that's circulating around - you know, the one featuring Diane's boob - makes its way to Drew's mother, my money's on the wedding being cancelled before the date's even set. By the way, how much postage does it take to send a video from, say, Bunny's house to Ohio?
The girls decide to take a nap while Drew goes for a run on the treadmill. Cowboy soon joins him in the room. Bare-chested, of course. You know, I've been reading a lot lately about mind control. I would like to test out what I've learned if you'll excuse me just a second.
Cowboy, put on a shirt.
Cowboy, put on a shirt.
Cowboy, put on a shirt.
I'll even accept a yellow one.
Thank you. I feel better. Anyway, Drew advises Cowboy to go to bed rather than work out with him. "We don't need to be seen together so much," he says. "I don't want anyone to get suspicious." Cowboy starts to get his feelings hurt, and Drew backs off. "I guess it's okay, man - I just don't want Diane to think you and me have something going." Cowboy works out for a minute, then abruptly stops to go to the bedroom for.... a shirt? Nope. He heads to the bed and lies down for a nap. So much for hypnotic suggestion via the internet.
When she gets up, Diane gets a beer out of the refrigerator. Drew and Nokomis follow suit, deciding it will help pass the long afternoon. They discuss where they each stash their extra beer. "I won't steal anyone's beer," says Diane, "unless you're one of the twins. Yes, Adria, I stole your beer!" The HGs want some music to go with their brew, and they relentlessly beg BB to play a couple of tunes. BB gives in and plays "Free Bird" for them, with the words changed to help Karen with her probable eviction.
If you leave here tomorrow
We will still remember you
But if you must be traveling on now
Please be sure to take those shoes
You will head out to Sequester
Where the sea is good for zits
You'll be free as a bird now
To count the nipples on your tits
Are there two or are there three now?
We may never, ever know
Unless a photo's snapped by Marvin
That hits the internet after the show
Bye bye, Karen, no more self-love
Rest your fingers before they're maimed
You'll need them ready to make a fist, girl
To punch Diane at the end of the game
You'll be free as a bird now
And the vote you cannot change
Lawd, no, it cannot change
Nokomis: Thank you, BB! Can we have just one more song?
BB: Cowboy, do you have a request?
Cowboy: "Yellow." By Coldplay.
BB: Figures.
BB happily obliges and plays the tune. Bunny raises her hand to request "White Rabbit" again or some....well, you know....Jon Bon Jovi. Maybe "Livin' On a Prayer," another good one for Karen. Or I think there's one called "Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars" but Holly and Jase are gone. Same with Scott and "Bad Medicine." It doesn't really matter what song as it's still all about the jeans. If Jonny sang the phone book with his back to the camera, I'd be first in line to buy the video.
"Just three more weeks until we get out of here," says Drew. "Just three more weeks until you see my boobs," says Diane. Which means you'll be a little behind us, guy, but no biggie. "I really want to drink until I'm f'd up tonight," says Diane. Cowboy says he hopes she doesn't regret it if she has too much to drink. They are on camera, after all. Yeah, I would hate it if she got so drunk that she flashed a boob or something, and had the moment preserved for all eternity on film, where people could rewind the clip over and over again, and maybe even post stills from it on the internet. That would be just awful.
After a few more drinks and a soak in the hot tub, Diane and Drew retire to the bedroom for a make-out session. They decide to get on the floor beside the bed. "That way no one can see us," says Diane. No one being everyone.
Diane: Lick my foot. If you like me, you'll do it now.
Drew: No.
Bunny: Get Nokomis. She'll do it.
Karen is packing her things. She has a large stash of items she saved from the different competitions. Nothing I would bid on if they hit Ebay, though. These people just don't know what sells. Get me a strand or two of Drew's hair, and I'm all over it. I've been trying to get Bunky to part with that lock of Hardy's he's had for years. Where is Bunky these days anyway? He should be happy to know that his crying jag record may have been surpassed by Cowboy. But come to think of it, probably not.
Karen doesn't know what she should wear for the Live Show tomorrow. Cowboy says he will help her pick something out. This from a guy who hasn't worn a shirt since the LAST Live Show, and doesn't even own one that's not the color of an overripe cantaloupe. Let me try that mind control thing again.
Karen, step away from the Cowboy.
Karen, step away from the Cowboy.
Karen, step away from the Cowboy.
Unless you want to look like Big Bird.
Karen realizes that she is going to need Diane's vote to stay in the game, so she takes every opportunity to compliment her.
Diane: I think I'll have a big old glass of chocolate milk.
Karen: Oh, you look so CUTE when you guzzle chocolate milk!
Diane: I need to take a shower first.
Karen: When your hair is wet, you look so CUTE!
Diane: Then I want to do some beer shots.
Karen: There is no cuter drunk than YOU!
Diane: After that, Drew and I are going to make out.
Karen: Take it from me - if you need a cute kisser, see Miss Diane!
Diane: Okay, that's enough.
Karen and Cowboy are packed, and everyone wants to go to bed early to be rested for the Live Show. Nokomis goes to the HOH room to sleep by herself; Cowboy goes alone to one bedroom while Karen takes the bed next to Drew's and Diane's in the other. She tries to sleep while the love birds kiss under the blankets.
Drew: I had you picked out as soon as I came in the house.
Diane: Same here. If you don't count Scott, Marvin, and Karen.
Cowboy shouts from the other room, "That's how I feel about my fiancee. I knew from the minute I saw her, dressed in a lemon-colored sundress, that she was the one. She had me at 'yell-ow.'"
Hoppy trails,
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