Cast Bios

“The Pompous British Host” – Derek Newcastle
Derek was the host of the original British version of “Last Chance for Love.” He’s now “crossed the pond” to host this American version and hopefully earn the respect his countrymen obviously wouldn’t give him.    A pompous, self-absorbed Brit, he’s given to name-dropping about any British superstar with whom he’s rubbed elbows, particularly if their name starts with ‘Sir’ or ‘Dame.’

       Derek  is  portrayed by Ralph Garman.  Garman  is  the only  returning  cast  member  from  the original “Schmo.”  Garman has an extensive career  in  both  television and radio,  and  is currently the  comedic part of Los Angeles' top  radio  station's  morning  show,  KROQ.  He's  also  provided  various  voices for  the Fox  animated  comedy "Family Guy," had appearances on “NYPD Blue,” and a recurring role on the soap opera, "Days of Our Lives."
 

“The Bachelor” - Austin 
Austin is “Last Chance for Love’s” answer to “The Bachelor.”  Austin is the ideal guy - every woman’s fantasy.  He’s got stunning teeth, broad shoulders and high cheekbones.  What’s not to like?

Austin is portrayed by Tim Herzog, who started his career in marketing for MTV Networks.  Now, his acting career has taken off.  He has landed roles in films such as “The Animal” with Rob Schneider, and on popular television shows like “Charmed,” “Will & Grace” and “Son of the Beach.”
 

“The Bachelorette” - Piper 
Piper is every guy’s dream.  She’s a blonde with a hot body and a personality to match.  Piper is the perfect type of woman to inspire competition amongst “Last Chance For Love’s” suitors. 

Piper is portrayed by Valerie Azlynn, who has appeared in a wide range of independent films and theater productions.  Most recently, she played a supporting role in Warner Bros. “Starsky and Hutch.”  She also spent several years studying comedy and improv at Los Angeles’ famous Groundlings Theater.
 

“The Bitch” – Ambrosia
In her own words, Ambrosia is “not here to make friends.” She’s a win at all costs pageant princess, complete with a long list of victims she’s spiked along the way with the heel of her Manalo Blahniks.  In Junior High she teased half the girls in her class into eating disorders.  Ambrosia’s biological clock has begun to tick loudly, driving her to new heights of competitiveness and cruelty.

Ambrosia is portrayed by Gretchen Palmer. One of Gretchen’s first film roles was in “When Harry Met Sally.” Since then, she has been a regular on “The Young & The Restless” and “The Parkers.” She’s also guest-starred on “Wayan’s Brothers,” “Married With Children,” and “The Hughley’s.” 
 

“The Stalker” – Bryce
Bryce is in serious need of love.  He’s a deeply romantic guy, an expresser of affection and a writer of poetry.  However, Bryce takes things way too far. His display of slavish devotion to Piper constantly gets creepier and creepier.  He is super possessive and has a strong streak of jealousy.

Bryce is portrayed by Kevin Kirkpatrick.  He recently appeared in the feature film “Cheaper by the Dozen.” Kevin’s television credits include NBC’s “The In-Laws,” “Spy TV,” and “Three Sisters.”  He is well known in comedy circles for his improv ability and is currently a member of The Groundlings theater troupe.
 

“The Moron” – Cammy
Sexiness is the only thing going for Cammy. She’s hilariously, absurdly, shockingly dumb. Dumber than a rock. Dumber than a shoe!  Think Jessica Simpson without the musical career.  Lots of glazed over stares. Lots of confusion over whether buffalos have wings.  Cammy couldn’t think her way into a corner, let alone out of one…

Cammy is portrayed by Jana Speaker. Jana has been featured in a number of top-selling bikini calendars, which helped her land stints as the ‘Flag Girl’ on “Monster Garage” and “Drive Shaft.”  She recently landed a leading role in the off-Broadway hit making its first run in Los Angeles, “Pieces of Ass” at the Stuff Magazine Theater. 
 

“The Weeper” – Eleanor
Eleanor is an adorable, sweet, co-dependent, weepy doormat with hair-trigger tear ducts.  She cries over everything!  Eleanor is desperately in love with Austin after only eight seconds in the room with him. She is ready to have his babies tomorrow.  Eleanor is one tissue box away from a nervous breakdown. 

Eleanor is portrayed by Jessica Makinson. She has appeared in several sketches on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and was a series regular on Comedy Central’s “Trigger Happy T.V.”  Currently, she is appearing in two different improv shows in Los Angeles. 
 

“The Heir” - Ernie
Ernie is the perfect guy in almost every way.  He’s a gentleman - cultured, debonair and stinking rich, an heir to the Gallo winery fortune.  Though Ernie seems perfect on paper, there’s one small problem that most women can’t overlook…he’s a bit chubby. 

Ernie is portrayed by eclectic actor Steve Mallory.  His television work has included roles on Comedy Central’s “I’m With Busey” and “Reno 911,” and Fox’s “Celebrity Clones.”   Steve has studied at Los Angeles’ prestigious Groundlings Theater.
 

“The Gotta-be-Gay Guy” - Gerald 
Gerald is the guy that seems to be in denial over his sexual orientation.  He’s good with the ladies, but is it for a completely different reason than what he likes to think.  Is Gerald ignoring the signs of his of his sexual orientation?  He’s nicely groomed and in touch with his feelings. Could he be repressing what his heart truly desires? Or is he just “in touch” with his feminine side?

Gerald is portrayed by Canadian actor Jonathan Torrens.  He is a popular television host of specials and talk shows, including “Canada Day,” “East Coast Music Awards” and “Hosted Primetime.”  Jonathan is also a talented comedy writer, specializing in variety shows and sketch comedy. 

“The Drunk”- Rita
Rita is a sweetheart, except for her unquenchable desire to get trashed beyond all human comprehension.  She’s sweet and often repentant when sober, but has fallen off no fewer than forty-six wagons…. Forty-seven if you include the New Orleans rubbing alcohol incident.  Rita is Austin’s immediate favorite, but she quickly harms her chances by getting rip-roaring drunk.

Rita is portrayed by Natasha Leggero, a trained stand-up comedienne and theater actor.  She has toured much of Los Angeles and New York doing stand-up comedy, and has also appeared in such Off-Broadway hits as “Tony and Tina’s Wedding” and “The Winters Tale.”  She has had extensive training in improv at both “The Goundlings Theater” and “Second City.”
 

“The Playah”  - T.J.
T.J. possesses the three “C’s”: Cheese, Camaro and Chest Medallion.  He fancies himself as the ultimate ladies man, but he couldn’t be more ridiculous, boorish, and offensive.  T.J. is every woman’s worst nightmare.

T.J. is portrayed by Jon Huertas.  He has appeared in Warner Bros.’ “Executive Decision” and “Why Do Fools Fall in Love” as well as HBO Films’ “Borderline.” Jon was a regular cast member on a number of popular television series including “Sabrina, The Teenage Witch,” “JAG” and “Moesha,” and has guest-starred on “NYPD Blue,” “Resurrection Blvd.” and “The Shield.”